MENTAL HEALTH MONDAYS: The “Secret” To Being a Happy Adult - The DV Walking Wounded:
SPOILER ALERT: It’s NOT really a secret. I personally think it might be coffee, but that’s my theory…
Let’s be honest—adulting can feel like trying to put together IKEA furniture without the instructions. We look around and wonder, Does everyone else know something I don’t? Truth is, there’s no magic formula or one-size-fits-all secret to being happy and well-adjusted. But there are some timeless practices that help keep your balance when life starts to wobble.
Here’s the good news: you don’t have to master them all at once. Think of these as tools in a toolbox—you reach for the ones you need when you need them.
1. Self-Acceptance: Stop Fighting Yourself
If happiness had a starting point, it would be here. Being okay with your own quirks, strengths, and even flaws is liberating. You’re not a broken project—you’re a human, and humans are supposed to be a little messy. Happiness is a decision: you must choose to be happy. It’s a chore at first, but eventually it becomes second nature!
2. People Matter More Than You Think
It’s not about how many friends you have—it’s about the quality of the connections. Surround yourself with people who refill your cup, not the ones who poke holes in it. Setting boundaries is part of this too: you can love people and still say no. You can love them from a distance and not let them poison your environment. You want them to eat too, just not at your table per se. This may mean limiting or cutting off family if peace requires it. Also, you don’t have to have a “significant other” or “intimate partner.” If you do, they need to enhance your life, not cause you turmoil.
3. Find Your “Why”
Happiness is nice, but purpose gives your life depth. Maybe it’s your family, your work, your faith, or a hobby that lights you up. Whatever it is, align your choices with it. That’s where fulfillment hides. Everyone needs a purpose. You may find that you’re a multi-passionate soul, meaning that more than one thing fulfills you and gives you drive. That’s okay too! You don’t have to have just one path!
4. Learn to Ride the Emotional Rollercoaster
Bad days? They’re inevitable. The trick isn’t pretending everything’s fine—it’s learning how to regulate your emotions so they don’t run the show. Things like deep breathing, journaling (especially in gratitude journals), or reframing negative thoughts help you respond instead of react. Don’t discount grounding or havening or prayer/meditation — whatever helps you to get through, positively. Just don’t pick a negative coping mechanism such as consuming alcohol or emotional eating. Negative coping mechanisms will keep spiraling you into bad feelings — it’s just a temporary fix.
5. Balance Independence with Leaning on Others
Being a strong adult doesn’t mean doing everything solo. Sometimes the bravest move is asking for help. A well-adjusted person knows when to stand tall and when to lean on the people in their tribe. This also includes your pets, as they can provide the strong and silent support that you need; hey, they don’t judge and they definitely do not complain!
6. Stay Curious
Life gets dull when you stop growing as a person. Try new things, learn new skills, discover new music, read books, go back to school, make mistakes, meet new friends —it keeps your mind sharp and your perspective flexible. Variety is the spice of life!
7. Don’t Neglect the Basics
Happiness sometimes looks like the boring stuff: getting enough sleep, eating decent food, moving your body, and giving yourself permission to play. They’re not luxuries—they’re fuel for your mental health. Also, do NOT skip self-care. Self-care is NOT selfish! You cannot take care of others, if you cannot take care of your self.
Your Practical Checklist for Being a Happy, Well-Adjusted Adult
✅ Accept yourself as you are (and ditch the comparison game)
✅ Nurture quality relationships & set boundaries where needed
✅ Identify your purpose—or at least something that gives your days meaning
✅ Build emotional resilience: breathe, pause, reframe
✅ Balance independence with the courage to ask for help
✅ Keep growing—stay curious and open-minded
✅ Prioritize the basics: rest, nutrition, movement, fun
Bottom line? The “secret” isn’t about chasing the perfect life—it’s about cultivating the right mindset and relationships to enjoy the one you’re already in. Happiness isn’t a destination you arrive at one day—it’s more like a daily practice.
