Redeemed Former Adult Film Star Joshua Broome Finds Hope in Helping Others Restore Their Marriages
Hope and Joshua Broome. Photo image courtesy Joshua Broome Facebook.
Joshua Broome, who spent six years as one of the most recognized names in the adult film industry, has a remarkable story of brokenness, redemption, and hope.
Growing up without a father in his life left Broome searching for identity in destructive places that ultimately left him at rock bottom. But an unexpected encounter with Jesus Christ transformed his life, offering forgiveness, purpose, and a new beginning. Along with his wife, Hope, Broome now dedicates his life to helping others find the same restoration.
More than a decade removed from that world, Broome is now a marriage advocate, speaker, and author. The Broomes speak from a place few can. They have lived the brokenness, and they have lived in the fullness that redemption provides.
In partnership with Christian marriage ministry XO Marriage, the Broomes have released a new four-session marriage video series called Made Whole: Healing, Wholeness, and Holiness in a Sex-Saturated World, that explores healing, intimacy, and God’s design for marriage. The course and companion guide is available on XOMarriage.com at no cost.
I recently sat down with Joshua to discuss how he was able to find meaning in his life after sinking to the depths of his soul, how his journey eventually led to marriage ministry, and why this video series is truly designed for such a time as this.
Before we dig into the Made Whole video course, I should note that you spent six years in the pornography industry before your conversion to Christ. What was the turning point that made you walk away, and how did that journey ultimately lead to marriage ministry?
In 2012, I had accomplished everything that I set out to accomplish in that industry. I had won every award you could win. I had made millions of dollars. And I really thought that if I had status in fame, that it would mitigate the deficit that I had in my life. And I think that's so many people's reality, where it's like if I had this position, or if I had this amount of money, if my life was different in some way, shape, or form, the restlessness that I feel when I laid my head on the pillow, it would just magically go away. And when I had obtained everything I thought with absolute certainty would fix my life, it caused me to hit rock bottom. So, my life became a matter of do I die or do I run?
So, I left at the pinnacle of my career in the adult film industry in 2012. I describe it as I tried to put enough good dirt on my bad dirt, so I didn't look dirty. I didn't think like that. I didn't think I could change. So the best I could do was manage people's expectations of me and maybe they would tell me that I was doing good. I was operating a gym and I was helping people get fit. I was helping people get off things like diabetic medication. And so, I was seeing people get healthy, and their lives were being changed.
I felt good about it, and I was doing a good thing. But when I laid my head down on the pillow, I was still restless and broken, and I was still tormented by these thoughts. And then I met this girl, this cheerleader from Iowa named Hope, and I told her that I was a kid whose daddy didn’t want him. And I've done this stuff. A lot of the things that create the most shame in my life are on the Internet for the world to see that this is who I am. I think that language is so important because the distinction between shame and guilt is, that guilt is, I've done something wrong. Shame is I am something wrong. And I was trying to tell her, I'm no good.
And her response was, "Well, I don't want to minimize what you're saying. I don't want to say that your pain and your trauma's not real. And I don't want to try to say that I can relate to your broken relationship with your dad. I can't. But you're not defined by the worst thing you've ever done. And you won’t be defined by the greatest thing you ever do, because you're not the author, God is. Do you know him?” And I didn't. She invited me to church. And 11 Easters ago, I walked into a church, and I heard the Gospel. I really understood at that moment. It wasn't even me and the preacher. It was just me and God.
It’s like while we are at our worst, in our worst moment, not when we're good enough, not because you earned it, not because you cleaned up your life when you were at your worst. Jesus Christ looks at you and says, ‘I'm going to die for you in spite of you. It's because I love you.’ And that absolutely decimated me in the best of ways. The Holy Spirit drew me to himself. And the only thing that made sense to me was to surrender my life to Jesus, and to make Him my Lord and my Savior. And then out of that, the same kid that had a shooting coach, an agility coach, and an acting coach, I wanted a Jesus coach. I wanted constructive criticism.
So, I walked into a church and I got discipled. Andrew Yates, who now oversees discipleship at Dallas Theological Seminary, poured his life into me, and we spent 15 to 20 hours a week together. He taught me how to read the Bible and invited me into his life. He showed me what it means to be a husband. This is what it looks like to navigate conflict. In 1 Thessalonians it talks about how to share the Scriptures with another, but it also shares how to share your very own lives with one another until death. He showed me what it looks like to be a follower of Jesus. He invited me to that. And the only thing that makes sense to me today is to anything good that I've experienced that's from God. Yes, it benefits me, but the only rational thing to do is to give it away.
You have such a great testimony! Changing gears, what is Made Whole, and what is it designed to do for couples and church leaders?
Made Whole is a four-part course that my wife and I put together. You can find it on XOmarriage.com. We designed it as a four-part teaching video course that also comes with a study guide. There's a small group curriculum that comes along with it. And we just want to acknowledge that hey, 50% of marriages in the United States end in divorce and pornography is a primary contributor to the brokenness that we see happening in marriage. And whether it be preconceived notions about what sex and intimacy should be like, and whether that leads to a deeper infidelity, there's just so much brokenness there. And we know that we serve a God where He doesn't just send Jesus to forgive us of our sins, but He wants to reconcile us to Himself, and He wants to make us new, He wants to make us whole.
And that idea of making us whole, it's really going from the hiding and the covering up. We see in Genesis 3, getting back to the wholeness that we see in Genesis 2. That word, shalom, means peace and wholeness. No brick in a wall is missing. A soldier is returning back from battle, and there's no injuries. So, how do you get back to wholeness? Number one, you have got to understand that sex and marriage is God's idea, and He called them good. The way that we go awry is we try to do it our way, and we allow the world to inform us of who we are, how we should live, and what sex, intimacy and relationships are supposed to be. We are just teaching from experience. My wife has a very different life experience than me.
When we met, I told her that I'm this broken kid that's done all this broken stuff. This is who I am. And she's like, ‘Well, I have good news and bad news for you. You are broken, but you're not uniquely broken in that there's not a solution. And that solution is understanding that you're not defined by the worst thing you've ever done, and you won't be defined by the greatest thing you ever do. You cannot heal yourself, and you cannot compound enough good to overcome the bad, because the bad is called sin. And that solution is Jesus Christ on the Cross.’ So, we're just really pointing people to that saying, hey, this is the data. This is how prevalent the problem is. And let's just walk in a way where we're going to acknowledge our flaws. We're going to acknowledge our preconceived notions that don't align with God's Word. What does God actually say about marriage? And if we do marriage God's way, we will be better off. That's our hope. We're just going to slowly walk people through a little bit of our journey, but more so this is what the Bible teaches about sex, intimacy, and relationships, specifically to marriage.
What do you want couples to know who feel like their marriage is too far gone to be saved?
I think it’s the same thing that my wife told me. That is, you're not defined by your worst moments. And you can't overcome your worst moments, or your broken moments, or your failure in your moments by doing better. You’ve got to acknowledge where you are. You’ve got to acknowledge your sin. It's the difference between saying, I'm sorry, or repentance. Repentance is a logistical terminology. I'm turning away from trying to do it my way, and I'm turning towards God. I'm turning away from my sin. I'm turning towards God. In this video series, we're hoping to invite people to say, ‘Where in my life do I need to make a 180 (degree turn)? Where in my life do I need to say, ‘Hey, we're trying to do this God's way.’
In taking inventory of yourself, ‘What do I believe about myself? What's the totality of my story?’ It’s wild for me to be helping people in their marriages, but just the stuff that I've learned, I need to share with others. Maybe you've never sat with someone, and you understand, ‘Well, I don't receive love the same way that my wife does.’ God generally pairs people in that way, where if I'm trying to love you the way that I receive love, even though I'm trying really hard to love you, I'm doing it in a selfish way. So, I just want you to receive love the way that I receive love. But I need to stop and have self-awareness to say, oh, you are different from me.
You have different wants and needs. So as a husband, I want to be respected. I want to be honored, and she wants to feel protected. She wants to feel safe, and she wants to be honored as well.
But to get to where God wants to take us, we've got to be honest about where we are. We've got to be honest about sin in our life, and about the preconceived notions that we have that might be ungodly. It's really just this step by step (process). This is the data. You're not uniquely broken. This is what's going on. This is the way that we're made whole, the way that we get back to Genesis 2. Are we out of alignment with God's Word? And then here's a very practical way to drag ourselves and to drag our marriage into the light and commit to living that way because God said it's going to be better.
After couples have had a chance to take part in the Made Whole video curriculum series, what would you like to see people take away from the viewing experience? What is your greatest hope for it?
My hope is that the percentage of broken marriages goes way down. I hope that one or both parties stop watching porn, they stop fighting, and they stick together. I pray for the abundant life for these marriages because that's what Jesus offers. Jesus didn't say, ‘I hope that your life is pretty good and your marriage is pretty good.’ No. I hope your marriage becomes awesome. That's what I hope. Our lives are not perfect, but my favorite thing in life is spending time with my wife because our marriage is such a gift. You can restore your marriage and get back to a good life even if it has been broken for a while.
That's my hope. Through this video course and in-person retreats, we just want to really build people up, individually, collectively, so that their marriage could thrive. I don’t want marriage to be mundane because that's why people are not getting married. Marriage can be awesome. Marriage is awesome and it's something that we should pursue.
Learn More About the Made Whole Marriage Video Series:
