Satisfaction — Broken & Hopeful
I had been experimenting with intermittent fasting a few years ago when my husband and I went to look at a car I was thinking about buying to replace my old one. As anyone who has bought a used car knows, this process is not known for being quick, and we ended up sitting for hours and hours after test-driving the vehicle and deciding we wanted to purchase it. My choice to not eat for many hours became more and more frustrating, as my stomach growled across the used car dealership while we signed paper after paper.
When we finally left the lot, we drove straight to a Vietnamese pho restaurant that was only a few blocks away. I’m not sure exactly how much time it took me to consume the entire bowl of delicious soup and noodles, but it must have looked hilarious to see me vacuum it up at top speed. The satisfaction of a good meal when you are very hungry is a wonderful feeling.
I am not for one second complaining about my lack of food for the paltry amount of time I was without—I know there are many around the world and in our country that starve on a daily basis, and never know the satisfaction of being full and content after a good meal. I do, however, want to tell you what God has been teaching me about satisfaction recently, and where we go for it.
I spoke to a lovely friend recently who mentioned she thought of satisfaction when it came to Jesus talking about being the Bread of Life in John 6:35. Most people I have talked with think of provision or sustenance when discussing that verse, but this was a new revelation for me—what does satisfaction in God look like?
I realized that typically I look for satisfaction or fulfillment in a lot of other areas, hoping my needs will be met and that I will feel content. God talks about this a lot in Jeremiah, where the Israelites were pursuing all sorts of other things instead of God, who had brought them out of so many awful situations. He told them they had forsaken Him, the Living Water, and tried to make cisterns to get satisfaction other than in Him. But these cisterns were broken and could hold no water. (Jeremiah 2:13)
So often the things I try to find life within are also broken and give me no satisfaction. I’ve pursued relationships, substances, jobs, food, different locations, sex, ministry, acceptance, image, and so many more idols in an attempt to find satisfaction. But, as the old song says, I can’t get no satisfaction! These idols are never going to give me what I can only find in God alone.
Sometimes when my idols don’t work, I get frustrated and want to try something else, thinking that if I just tried the right thing, I would get the desired result. But what God has said is that only He will satisfy the deep thirst within us. I love David’s cry out to the Lover of his soul while in the wilderness running for his life yet again.
O God of my life, I’m lovesick for you in this weary wilderness. I thirst with the deepest longings to love you more, with craving sin my heart that can’t be described. Such yearning grips my soul for you, my God! I’m energized every time I enter your heavenly sanctuary to seek more of your power and drink in more of your glory. For your tender mercies mean more to me than life itself. How I love and praise you, God! Daily I will worship you passionately and with all my heart. My arms will wave to you like banners of praise. I overflow with praise when I come before you, for the anointing of your presence satisfies me like nothing else. You are such a rich banquet of pleasure to my soul. Psalm 63:1-5
We so often are disappointed in human relationships or other avenues in which we try to find acceptance and love, expecting them to be perfect or without problems. When we get the order right and find satisfaction in relationship with God first, we can enjoy the other things in life in a much deeper way as we aren’t disappointed in them when they don’t give us what we think they should.
God created us for relationship with Him, and we will only be satisfied in the intimacy that relationship provides. Nothing else comes close. His presence is where satisfaction in life dwells, and with Him we are able to rest and enjoy the rest of life deeply.