So No One Ever Exhorted You in Church—Is This Good?
Many people have attended church for years and have never been personally exhorted. Is this a good thing?
Not really, though hardly anyone is disappointed. They like living their lives in virtual anonymity. That’s why their sharing, if it happens at all, is steadily selective, always safe, always shallow, because in that way—Ta dah! —there’s no need for exhortations!
This is their formula for escaping exhortations: Just put a lid on the inner life, and lock-it-down!
So will they consider joining a small group?
Sure, no problem!
They know, whether it’s a bible study or a time for fun and food, not much sharing will happen there, either (despite the slogans the church uses to advertise these groups).
If you’re in a church that has a culture like this, you’re in the wrong church.
To spend decades where “an exhortation-free zone” continually dominates in a church is out of the will of God.
Scripture says? Exhort daily!
The church says? Exhort rarely!
However—and this is a very different option: If church members are a part of a biblical fellowship where the group gathers after the Bible is taught to share their inner life in that context, then the scene we’ve been describing dramatically changes.
To talk only about the Word and not about the current progress of our walk with the Lord is the most effective way churches eliminate biblical fellowship.
Biblical fellowship meditates the Word first, and based on that, members come prepared to share that area of their life that most needs the Word meditated.
It would be a mistake, though, to think that the ministry of the Word only precedes a gathering for fellowship. It does not. The Word also has a prominent role during a fellowship meeting.
Sometimes this is for providing needed support, whether comforting or strategizing. Other times, the edge of the Word has to be pressed deeper, especially if resistance occurs.
When we share our inner life, we are all made to see things in ourselves, and in others, that represent barriers to spiritual growth.
These barriers, if holiness is truly our goal and pleasing Jesus is truly our desire, need to be dealt with. Of course, because love is our motive, the ensuing conversations should always be with warmth and genuine concern.
For precisely this reason, Scripture calibrates its confrontative options, presenting as it does softer to sterner approaches.
First, there is a teaching. A teaching simply sets forth principles of biblical ethics that should govern daily life; and for the more tender and teachable hearts, this is all that will be needed.
Then there’s an exhortation. The Greek word for “exhortation” means “to call to one’s side.” This suggests a closing in, a conversation that gets specific, a conversation that is sometimes required if teaching isn’t getting the job done.
Third, there’s an admonition. According to the famous Greek scholar, Dr. A.T. Robertson, the word “admonish” literally means “to put sense into.” From the etymology of this word, one can easily sense why this represents an escalation of intensity. An admonition is more direct, more to the point, more urgent in its message.
But if not even an admonition works, a rebuke may be necessary. A rebuke denounces any belief or behavior that seriously compromises the standards of Scripture. Unlike an admonition, a rebuke isn’t cushioned in any way—it has only a sharp, painful sting!
Although sanctioned by Scripture, the rebuke does not give license to a critical spirit or to a ventilation of vengeful hostility.
Its purpose is to focus on a particularly grievous behavior with an agenda to reclaim the sinner while uprooting the sin. Admittedly, a rebuke is always difficult to receive, but the wise child of God will do so with profit.
Too often, the believer only makes a mental note of what was said before then filing it away in planned neglect. This is allowed to happen because the sterner options were never used.
Had the modern-day church been more faithful to “exhort one another” in the way Scripture calls on us to do, perhaps there wouldn’t be the degree of dysfunction we find in today’s church.
To all those who want to be counted in but not counted on, Scripture’s call to “exhort one another” is especially appropriate.
A dominant theme in the book of Hebrews is the warning not to fall away. Now, one might think that since the Lord’s blessings are so good, there wouldn’t be any problem with falling away.
But remember, as Adam and Eve fell in the ideal atmosphere of Eden, and as Judas fell in the ideal companionship of Jesus, so Ananias and Sapphira fell in the blaze of the descended Spirit.
Actually, one can go further back than that to recall how the great leader of worship also fell in the most righteous place in the universe—Heaven!
In seeking to make sense of this, don’t even bother to look for a rational explanation, because, by definition, sin is irrational.
Trace its motives, track its thinking, and the same conclusion will show up every time—sin is stupid. This is exactly why the Old Testament says much about the fool.
Not only does the book of Hebrews tell us what will happen to those who do fall away, but it also provides a prescription, twice stated, telling us how to avoid this outcome (Hebrews 3:13; 10:25)—we must give exhortations!
A foundational premise of an exhortation ministry is this: If properly and faithfully done, it can keep both the individual and the church itself from ending up where each might have otherwise ended up. This is the first reason for giving exhortations.
Referencing Hebrews 3, Brian Hedges exclaimed:
The implications of this statement are staggering. The writer assumes that one means God uses to keep people from falling away from him is mutual, daily exhortation. Perseverance in the faith is a community project. Believers need one another.
A second reason for giving an exhortation, according to the book of Hebrews, is deceitfulness. Hebrews 3:13 says, “… exhort one another daily ... lest any of you be hardened through the deceitfulness of sin.”
Sin often makes its appeals in one of the following ways: 1) by assuring nothing bad is going to happen; 2) by claiming sin will work to our advantage; 3) by insisting our standing before God is without peril; and 4) by declaring that any sin tempting us won’t overcome us.
Offering a similar explanation, Ray Stedman once said that ungodliness flows from these three thoughts: “Me first!” … “Get it now!” … “Nothing bad will happen!”
It is thoughts like these, contextualized in subtle but effective lies, that a ministry of exhortation must first expose with clarity before it expels with persuasion.
Alexander Maclaren illustrated how easily duped some people are whenever certain enticements appear—appeals that have never resulted in fulfillment! In his commentary on Isaiah, Maclaren writes:
You will see a dog chasing a sparrow—it has chased hundreds before and never caught one. Yet, when the bird rises from the ground, away it goes after it once more, with eager yelp and rush to renew the old experience.
In his commentary on Deuteronomy, Maclaren said:
Even a sparrow comes to understand a scarecrow after a time or two, and any rat in a hole will learn the trick of a trap. Nevertheless, you can trick men over and over again with the same inducement and, even whilst the hook is sticking in their jaws, the same bait will tempt them once more.
Kind of pathetic, right? That such futile experiences engage us so easily is difficult to explain. Obviously, the Christian that is this obtuse warrants a timely exhortation.
A third reason for giving exhortation is to counteract unbelief. After commending the need to exhort one another in Hebrews 3, reference is then made to the children of Israel who “could not enter in because of unbelief” (Hebrews 3:19).
Keep in mind that these Jews had sprinkled the blood over their doors, had walked into the sea with Moses, had experienced the presence of God (the cloud by day, the pillar of fire by night), and the provisions of God (the manna, the quail, the water from the rock). Yet, despite all this, they never entered the Promised Land.
What an alarming thought! Especially when we consider how many people in our churches have laid claim to the blood of the Lamb, have entered into the waters of baptism, have received the guiding, guarding benefits of God, but in the end chose this present life instead of the promised life.
This is where exhortations come in! We mustn’t allow believers to keep making tracks in the sand in a wilderness wandering going nowhere fast. We must speak up! The sooner, the better! Way too much is at stake for silence to remain!
Yet, in most churches it does remain. The exhortation and admonition approaches of the Word aren’t used. What God deemed necessary, we deem optional; and to be more honest, we deemed dispensable.
The one factor contributing most to our delinquency is our determination to keep the lid on our sharing.
People can’t bear what we don’t share. And they can’t exhort what they never knew exhibited.
If you, like many, have gone years and years without being exhorted, do you think God going to commend your church for that?
Drill down, and look more closely at churches that function this way, and you’ll see that God’s standards for biblical fellowship went out the window long before church discipline did.
The one conclusion we can draw from churches that have done this is that their leaders didn't just dispense with fellowship and discipline, they dispensed with Jesus as the head of the church and took his place.
Are you sure you want to follow leaders like that?
