Suffering With Those Who Suffer — Broken & Hopeful
Many people ask me how I do what I do, talking with people who feel so broken every day to encourage them and point them to Jesus. It’s true there are days that I cry out from the heaviness of the stories, and the overwhelm of all the pain. Most days I enjoy the work I am privileged to do. I get to walk into people’s lives in places that most don’t ever hear about, and I treasure the trust that people give me in doing this. But what do we do when it’s just hard, and it seems like everyone around us is suffering and in agony?
First, I need to recognize when I’m trying to take on something that’s not mine to carry. My job is not to fix people, or their situations. When the pressure is on and I feel weighed down, often it’s because I am trying to take God’s job. Yes, I want to help, but I can’t help if I am overloaded with trying to solve problems I have no business trying to solve.
Second, I ask God for wisdom and strength in what to say and do. I have realized this year that the time I spend praying for people is more important than the time I spend talking with them. Why? Well, it puts me in a place to receive from God. When I realize I am weak and don’t have what it takes to fix a problem, I can receive the wisdom that Jesus is bringing to the situation and pass it on to the hurting person. God is the counselor—not me. So, I get to participate in what He is doing in someone, and that is a huge gift and a major relief as well. My friend Mike Wells used to say that we bring an empty bag and let God fill it with what people need. This no longer limits me to my own knowledge or skills, but open the door to the power of the God who knows all and works in hearts in a way I could never do.
Third, I realize that often what a hurting person needs from me is simply being with them in the suffering. We can feel so alone in the pain, and just having someone to listen and offer compassion without judgement or pat answers can be a gift. Yes, I want to work through tools for dealing with the pieces we can actually do something about, but the key to opening that door for people is often simply being with them and listening.
Fourth, I need to offload all the pain I have sat in with people onto Jesus every day. I know when I haven’t been practicing this, I get swallowed up in someone else’s stuff and don’t have the capacity to move forward. I pray through the day at some point in my evening, passing off all the stories, worries and fears on to God. He is able and willing to take all of that, and I need to take it off my shoulders. This casting of cares lets me put these concerns in a place where I know my Father is always working, and He takes the night shift and lets me sleep.
Finally, my place of being with people in pain is my place of growth as much as theirs. Nothing is ever wasted in God’s kingdom, and I am learning and knowing Jesus in the time as well as anyone else. I think this is important as it keeps me receiving His love through each circumstance, and the allowing it to overflow to those who need it. I often say that people can rely on my hope until they have some of their own. The only way I am going to have hope to offer is if I am in constant conversation with Jesus as I talk to them, for He can bring hope out of any situation.
Pour out all your worries and stress upon him and leave them there, for he always tenderly cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7
