The Be-Attitudes of the Christian Walk ~ Be Gentle

Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love. Ephesians 4:2

A gentle answer deflects anger,
    but harsh words make tempers flare. Proverbs 15:1

A Story of Gentleness from Colonial America

War cast a long shadow over early Colonial America. European powers battled for territory, often displacing Native American communities in the process.

This reality is in stark contrast to the reason many fled to the New World, to peacefully worship God without threat of government oppression or interference. 

However, one Puritan minister was known for his strong convictions and gentle spirit. Roger Williams believed that gentleness, respect, and cooperation would yield greater results than harsh takeovers of native lands and forced conversions. He learned the language of the Narragansett people, traded fairly, negotiated on behalf of various tribes and individuals, all with gentleness and humility. 

His gentle words and actions saved lives of both Native Americans and English settlers. But his belief –  that ALL people should be treated with respect and gentle words garner greater results than war – were not received well by colonial authorities. He interpreted Scripture differently than the majority rulers in the Massachusetts Bay Colony and stood up for what he believed to be right and fair. 

He was exiled to the wilderness outside the colony and became deathly ill. Because of his relationships already established through fair trade and treatment of the Narragansett people, he was gently cared for and nurtured back to health in their community.

Because of his relationship with the Narragansett people, he was able to purchase land that eventually became Rhode Island, a place known for peace and religious liberty. 

In a time when colonists often treated Native Americans with suspicion or violence, Williams’s approach was radically different. His gentleness didn’t make him weak—it built trust.

Where Gentleness Meets Real Life

Imagine the impact of gentleness today:
– In our churches
– In our families
– On the freeway
– In the checkout line
– On social media
– In politics
– Within our own hearts

I know it’s a struggle for me. I snap with a sharp answer rather than a gentle word. Even though they can’t hear me, I really let those crazy drivers on the freeway know how I feel about their recklessness. On more than one occasion (I can’t count how many times) I have had to ask my husband, children, and even my best friends to forgive my lack of gentleness. And I should add right here that when we fail to be gentle, we should be quick to apologize and not try to justify our lack of self-control.

But to be honest, and I am probably not alone here, the person I have the most trouble being gentle to is myself. The enemy loves to flash my shortcomings in front of me and rejoices when I begin the self-condemnation. If we do not experience gentleness at our own hands, how can we expect that we can be genuinely gentle with others? 

The Answer – Our Gentle Shepherd

The only answer is asking my Gentle Shepherd to change my anxious heart and surrendering my will to His. I need Him to clothe me in gentleness, give me a heart of peace, and help me be patient and gentle in every situation. I must believe that He (and only He) can transform me and help me be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry. (James 1)

One thing I have done to help build gentleness into my life is ask the Lord to bring to mind Scriptures that apply to any given situation. It changes my perspective and slows down my response to others. I also ask Him to give me grace and gentleness when I am going into a difficult situation. I have seen Him miraculously answer these prayers!

Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Colossians 3:12

Gentleness is not an action, it is a posture of our hearts and obedience that leads to peace and relationships that flourish, build trust, and grow deep roots. 

A Prayer for Gentleness:

Gentle Savior, Thank you for loving me and filling my heart with Your spirit. Please help the spirit of gentleness shine through and snuff out the waring frustration and anxiety that too often identify me. Please clothe me in gentleness so I can be identified as one of Your children and reflect Your image. In Your Precious Name, Amen

Questions for Reflection:

Do you know someone who seems to possess the ability to exude gentleness?

Ask them how they do it. I would love to hear the answer.

What is one step you can take today to be gentler with yourself? With others?

For Meditation:

Here is a simple song of prayer for gentleness by Sovereign Grace, Gentle Like Jesus

For Further Reading:

Gentle and Lowly by Dane Ortlund

Meek Not Week by my friend Abigail Wallace

Gentleness Verses at Bible Gateway

If this blessed you, please feel free to share it or let me know by leaving a comment or sending an email to soulwater@kerilynnwillis.com.

Check out the other Be-Attitudes here