The Most Beautiful "No" - Amy Lively
It was 2014. I had run a Bible Study in my neighborhood for a couple years, so you’d think I would be a pro at this.
But, in the weeks before each new Bible Study session started, I struggled to invite people to the first week. With the nervous sweat of a teenaged boy asking a girl to prom, I’d approach my friends with an invitation.
Somehow, God brought the women, although I feel the Holy Spirit had to do most of the work in view of my lame efforts!
In the year 2014, I wanted to be bold. I always picked and chose who I invited based not on the need of each neighbor but on the likelihood that they would say “Yes”.
However, in a predominantly Asian, Indian, and Arab neighborhood, I was leaving out a lot of people!
Walking out of a Girl Scouts meeting, I saw a friend I knew was Muslim. “I can’t invite her! She’ll be so offended! It’ll be so awkward, and we are just getting to know each other!”
The Holy Spirit gave me the stink eye and a little nudge.
As we walked down the hall of the school together, I very shyly handed my friend an invitation to my Bible Study. Words stumbled out of my mouth in an obvious effort to make this “no big deal”, which made it an even bigger deal, which made me just about hyperventilate with panic.
I just wanted the words to stop, but my nerves had completely taken over!
Suddenly, my Muslim friend stopped in her tracks. She grabbed my arm gently and gave me the most compassionate and understanding look.
She could see my awkwardness and was having a great deal of compassion for me.
“Sara,” she said, in her gentle Syrian accent, “I cannot go to your Bible Study. But I want you to know, you should never ever feel reluctant to share your faith and your life with me.”
……wow…..
After years of inviting neighbors to church, Bible study, block parties and dinner, I’d received many “Yes”s, many “That’s not my thing”s, many passive non-responses, and even a door slammed in my face over Christmas cookies. But, never this.
It was, truly, the most beautiful “NO” I have ever received.
And, you know what? As is always the case when we love our neighbors out of the love Christ has demonstrated to us – that “No” was not the end of the story!
In fact, I have often built richer relationships and have had more spiritually significant conversations with people who have rejected my invites to “church-y” things, but accepted my offer to walk through life with them.
My Muslim friend from Girl Scouts is now one of my best friends. I’ve spent time crying and praying over her as she watched her Syrian hometown fall to ISIS hands and total ruin. We’ve sat many times and talked about Jesus, salvation, the differences between us and, well, normal things.
Kids getting driver’s license, the expense of home repairs, husbands, friends, and trying to lose ten pounds.
That “No” was not the final word. God had much more in mind for our friendship.
So, should we quit inviting people to church and Bible Study? In one word – “NO”!
Those “yes”s are signs that people are searching and they desperately need to know the hope and grace that can be found in Jesus!
But, do not allow the “No”s to defeat you. “No” is simply a “Yes” to a different journey.
They are cups of coffee and play dates and deeply significant peeks into your life and what a living, breathing Gospel looks like during that coffee and those play dates.
Colossians 4:5-6 has some great advice…
“Live wisely among those who are not believers, and make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be gracious and attractive so that you will have the right response for everyone.”
Rejection is so difficult! We often never venture out to connect with neighbors for fear of it. But when we learn that a life lived wisely among our neighbors cultivates natural opportunities, a rejection here and there is irrelevant. Fine, no Bible study? What about coffee?
Let’s not live our lives in avoidance of “No”. “No”s can be beautiful.
In the great adventure that is loving our neighbor, “No” could be just the beginning.
