Wives Who Secretly Hate Their Husbands Exhibit These 10 Signs - Olubunmi Mabel

A happy marriage is the most beautiful thing that can happen to anyone.

But there is no way a home can be happy when one party hates the other.

While it will be obvious that something is wrong, it’s not always clear that a woman hates her husband if he doesn’t know what to look out for.

This post will show you the signs wives who secretly hate their husbands exhibit.

Wives Who Secretly Hate Their Husbands Exhibit These 10 Signs

1. They Are Critical

In the same way love makes us blind to faults, hate heightens fault.

And it’s usually with the same intensity or even worse. 

So, if a woman hates her husband, she will become highly critical. 

He will never be enough in her eyes. 

Whatever he does will be questioned and criticized, even things she used to find endearing.

The first sign of hate in a home is criticism, whether warranted or not. 

This is mainly because the man ceases to be her hero, and she now relates to him as her opponent.  

2. They Are Uncaring

When a woman loves a man, it is usually visible to all by how caring and affectionate she is to him.

She will do her best to relieve him of his stress, not add to it.

When she notices that he is unhappy, she will grill him to find out what’s wrong and do her best to improve his situation.

Even if she can’t, she will share the burden with him.

However, when a woman stops bothering whether her man is unhappy or not or when she can’t even see his distress, chances are she is emotionally detached from him and their relationship.

One huge sign is that she becomes cold to him and will no longer show him affection through words or actions.

Additionally, she will no longer be concerned with issues related to him.

If she still loves her husband, she will want to be involved in his life and constantly ask questions to understand him and what makes him tick.

However, a clear sign of hate is a disinterest in him and everything related to him.

3. They Stop Talking To Their Husband

At the risk of being stereotypical, women love to talk.

However, they don’t just talk to random people; they only talk to those they care about and have a relationship with.

Most men complain about how women talk a lot, not knowing it’s a sign of their emotional attachment to him.

When a woman hates her husband, she no longer wants to talk to him.

Once she stops regaling her husband with the most inane conversation about her day and the people she encountered, she doesn’t care about him anymore.

Of course, this doesn’t apply to women who are naturally quiet and have always not had much to say from the onset.

4. They Stop Confiding In Their Husband

Similarly, women not only regale their men with random discussions about the most ridiculous things but also confide in the men they love.

She will no longer share her deepest secrets, desires, wins, and failures with him.

He will find that he hears about things related to her after the event or from others.

Usually, he should be the first person she tells about any new development in her life, but when she hates him, he loses his position as her go-to person.

5. They Deny Him Sex

There are two ways this could play out.

She may outrightly deny him sex, or she could agree when he asks but be obviously detached from the activity.

Some women will go on to deny him sex without caring what he thinks about their excuse, while others will give excuses but it is because she cannot stand him touching them.

Another class doesn’t care either way.

They will agree to it but lie like a log of wood during sex.

They won’t show any affection or make any move to participate.

For them, it is about letting him get it out of his system and let them be.

6. They Constantly Pick Fights

As already established, when a woman hates her husband, his flaws are heightened.

Therefore, she will flare up over the minutest thing, even things she could handle before or had patiently handled.

Now, whatever he does annoys her.

Based on how she feels about him, she sees him in a negative light, making whatever he says or does seem negative to her.

7. They Stop Arguing

Conversely, some women become completely cold, and whatever their husband does doesn’t affect them positively or negatively again.

This is probably worse because the fact that she is fighting with him shows that there are still feelings there; they just happen to be more negative than positive.

But if she is not fighting at all and doesn’t care anymore, it means he doesn’t affect her anymore. 

8. Everything Becomes Robotic

Some women might completely stop doing everything they used to do in marriage when they begin to hate their husbands.

They will make it evident to the husband that they have stopped caring for him.

So, even if they are still living together, it is now clear that they are roommates, not spouses.

On the other hand, some women will continue doing everything; they will cook, clean, and care for him physically as they used to.

But the feelings behind those acts will be missing.

She might even remain an active member of that family, discussing bills, the children, and things that require both of their inputs with the husband, but she has checked out.

If the husband is observant, he will see that she is doing all those things mechanically and not from her heart.

9. She No Longer Asks Him For Help

A woman who loves her man will want to be babied by him.

Of course, an independent woman will take care of certain things without his help.

But even independent women who love their men sometimes push some problems his way in a bid to make him their hero.

However, when a woman loses feelings for her husband, he is no longer her hero; she will probably turn to her brothers, father, or male friends when she needs help.

The man will find he is no longer the first point of contact when she needs strength to carry out tasks.

10. Her Friends And Family Visibly Hate Him

Although this doesn’t happen in all cases, in many cases, when a woman hates her husband, chances are her family and friends will hate him too because she might have confided in them.

If her friends, who used to be friendly to him, are now treating him with contempt, they are likely projecting her feelings to him.

5 Possible Reasons Wives Come To Hate Their Husband

1. Betrayal

One major reason women come to hate their husbands is betrayal.

It is not always because of an affair, but it’s primarily because of it.

If she finds you cheating on her – whether she confronts you or not – she might feel betrayed and check out of the marriage.

Now, you might say she should just seek divorce and leave.

However, not every woman believes in divorce, depending on her religious and cultural beliefs.

Also, she might want to stay for her children to keep them in a two-parent household.

She could be taking the time to set her affairs together before filing.

In the interim, when she has yet to leave her husband, she will likely display hate for him.

Women could also feel betrayed when their husbands don’t fulfill specific promises they made to them when they were courting or during the marriage.

For instance, a man could tell his wife to leave work so she can raise the children in their formative years and promise to help her set up a business when they are little independent.

If he doesn’t do it after everything, she might become resentful, which could grow into hate.

A woman could also grow to hate her husband if she feels he is disloyal and does not prioritize her over his family, friends, or work.

2. Unmet Expectations

This is quite similar to the last point; a woman can grow to hate her husband if he doesn’t meet expectations that she feels would be met in the marriage.

Like the above point, these expectations could have been promised or implied.

Or they may be her unrealistic expectations of marriage.

For example, some women get married to escape their current situation.

Maybe they were unhappy and expected their husband to be the source of their happiness.

If that expectation is not realized, they could grow resentful.

This is not his fault, as no one person can make us happy; we must all find happiness from within.

Yes, your spouse should be intentional about making you happy, but the primary source of happiness is from within.

3. Overworked

This is a surprisingly common reason why women resent their husbands.

The rhetoric where women are expected to handle all the domestic work and still work to earn money is very dangerous.

It produces overworked, stressed, and overwhelmed women who cannot love their men.

They are already spent out and lack the positive energy to exert on the man.

Plus, the resentment will come from them seeing him as selfish and uncaring, which is the cause of their stress.

4. Neglect

Wives are also known to hate their husbands because the man neglected them.

Some men marry, spend two weeks honeymoon with their wives, and then marry their jobs.

The excuse is usually that they need to provide and that’s also valid.

But women need more than money; they also need care and attention.

So when a woman is not getting that, she might become bored and gradually resentful.

5. Depression

The reason could also have nothing to do with you and with her.

For many reasons, she could be depressed, making her withdrawn and unable to show affection.

 In this situation, she might not understand why she is acting as she is; she may just be stressed and angry.

4 Things To Do If Your Wife Hates You 

1. Talk To Her

If your wife exhibits traits of resentment or hate, sit her down and talk to her without accusing her.

Let her know you want to understand the situation and seek to fix it if possible.

Hopefully, she is open enough to pour her heart out.

Then, you can determine the issue; maybe it’s your own doing or her dissatisfaction with herself.

2. Change

If she hates you because of something you did, change your ways.

If it isn’t and concerns personal dissatisfaction, try to probe and see if you can find the root of it.

For instance, it could be that she feels unfulfilled.

Maybe she is a stay-at-home wife who doesn’t find fulfillment in her life season.

Working and making her own money might be the remedy.

And if it’s depression, you can then consider therapy.

3. Consider Seeking Therapy

If you notice signs of depression, encourage your wife to seek therapy.

But even if the hate wasn’t caused by depression, you can still consider therapy or counseling to address all the underlying issues to prevent a repeat. 

4. Make A Decision

Sometimes, the matter might be very deep, and your wife might not be willing to shift grounds.

In that case, you need to decide what’s best: whether to stay and try to convince her or accept her decision to dissolve.