At least, that’s what some say. There are Christians claiming that a husband is not accountable to his wife. He is accountable to God only. If she bothers to bring up any concerns to him at all, she should do it only once. If she does it in the “wrong” tone or brings it up more than once, she’s “nagging.”
A husband could certainly have someone he is accountable to outside of the marriage, if he wants. For example, a qualified pastor. Or, another man of integrity, such as a friend or relative could be his accountability partner. We are all 100% accountable to God.
However, accountability in general is also from expectations, which necessitates one’s need to justify or explain their actions. I’m not suggesting that a wife takes charge over her husband.
No one can give me a good reason why a husband and wife, who are one unit, partners in Christ, should not have free communication and explanations between the two of them.
A man who loves his wife as Christ loves the church as he is called to, should never have a problem not only explaining things to his wife, but planning things with her. He is to love her as he loves himself and even further, love her as Christ loved the church (Ephesians 5: 25-27).
It appears to be nothing short of pride in some men that causes them to require that women don’t expect them to partner with them, have questions, or communicate sufficiently with them overall.
Sisters in Christ who plan to get married should understand that this lofty, neglectful ideology is not godly. It is not the selfless, caring example Christ shows us. Someone may say, “God doesn’t tell us His plans or explain things to us.”
Well, this is not entirely true. Also, He is God. He guides us as He sees fit. The Bible does not tell a husband to function as God in relationship with his wife. The relationship analogy for husband and wife is Christ and the church.
Apostle Paul specifically acknowledges the selflessness and sacrifice of a husband, loving his wife as himself. Treating her like a child or outsider is not Christ-like. There is no excuse for breaking the golden rule. Or for treating the wife as if she is lesser than.
An exception in communication may be in a situation where the Holy Spirit is directing a spouse to delay speaking on something, for example. Abraham likely did not rush in to tell Sarah he would sacrifice Isaac!
It would not have been wise. In general, it is not a good sign for a husband and wife not to have open communication with, and be receptive to feedback from each other .
We can take our cares and concerns to Christ, for He cares for us (1 Peter 5: 6-7). Is not the husband and wife relationship to reflect Christ and the church? Yes, it should.
We can go freely, without hesitation to Jesus with our concerns. He cares about us. He doesn’t have an “I don’t want to be bothered” attitude.
Some women even encourage wives not to take concerns to husbands, because it may make husbands feel insecure or may hurt their egos. They see this as respecting their husbands. I must say this seems like naivete on their part.
If a husband is that fragile where a wife can’t respectfully bring up concerns or other issues with him, he needs some humility, healing and deliverance.
Single women should be able to recognize this proactively. Some are being taught that a husband’s resistance to questions, concerns or the wife’s lack of involvement in plans is acceptable and normal.
However, for women who are already married, if they feel led to respect their husbands by not asking questions or bringing up concerns to them, so be it! For sisters in Christ who marry men who are arrogant and unreceptive, 1 Peter 3: 1-6 applies.
I aim to reach single women proactively, with the truth before they marry.
Some men seem to be simply creating their own rules to make their lives as easy and convenient for themselves as possible, at the expense of the women. This is in direct opposition to the nature of Christ and His examples that were shown to us.
Not all men will be this way, of course. There are men who are actually humble, love and partner with their wives! This is what should be normalized. It is important for Christian women to seek God’s guidance and use his Word as their standard and for examples.
Helpful Scriptures.
“Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time: Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.” 1 Peter 5: 6-7.
“Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,
That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.” Ephesians 5: 25-27.
“Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves.” Phillipians 2: 3.
