Letting Go of Shame from Divorce – Denise Pass

Denise Pass

Shame RX: Divorce is not the unforgivable sin.

Matthew 5:32

“But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except for immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.”

Sitting in the church pew alone, I looked around at seemingly happy couples, wondering if they really were. The feeling of isolation suffocated me as I felt as if I were wearing a scarlet letter I could never be rid of.

The loneliness in the aftermath of separation and divorce consumed me as suddenly people did not know how to relate to me. And so I would go to church and I would go up and weep at the altar. Again and again.

I was one of them now. I bore the shame of a divorce but not the regret. I knew in my situation that it was best, but still there was this sense that it could not be forgiven. Not by man, and not by God, because He hates divorce. And everyone had the scriptures to prove it.

But God. Our God is loving. Yes, He hates divorce, but He also hates abuse. And He makes a way out for those who find themselves in harsh, abusive situations. 

For a long time I could not forgive myself for the divorce. God hates divorce. And then, God hates all sin. It hurts God’s people. His hatred of divorce did not mean that He does not forgive it. There are painful consequences for divorce and we should not take it lightly.

Shame stifles our existence after a divorce, like we are a second class citizen. The truth is, all sin falls short of the glory of God and there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. Not even for divorce.

If you have also wondered if remarrying was an unpardonable sin, reading this commentary on the verse above will bring some peace, I believe. 

Forgive yourself, friend. If you have repented for your part, God already has.

Shame Off You, friends!


Need to get rid of shame in your life? Join the Shame Off You Bible Study Mondays at 7pm ET.

Used with permission from Denise Pass at

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