Now the serpent was more crafty than any of the wild animals the Lord God had made. He said to the woman, “Did God really say, ‘You must not eat from any tree in the garden’?”
– Genesis 3:1, NIV
Public Service Announcement (PSA):
Some of the greatest damage done in my experience is related to this truth.
Nothing is quite as damaging as a lie laced with just enough truth to make it stick.
Like the serpent overstating God’s prohibition, Satan continues to utilize a smattering of truth to get people to believe lies.
It is tempting to get caught up in a loop beating up oneself regarding the abandonment, adultery, or divorce. The truth is you were not a perfect spouse. So, you start in on the “what if’s” or a pastor/counselor helps you along this road of self-flagellation. You engage in “The Shared Responsibility Lie.”
Truth: No one is perfect (see Romans 3:23).
Yet it does not follow from that truth that you are–even partially–responsible for your spouse’s choice to commit adultery, abandon, and/or divorce you. One is only responsible for one’s own choices and actions.
We answer for our own sins; not someone else’s (see 2 Corinthians 5:10).
A partial truth is still a lie.
This fact is also important to sussing out the truth from someone who is a known liar–i.e. a cheater. Cheaters might admit to a “friendship” with the Other Man/Other Woman when pressed. But that is a lie.
We do not understand standard friendships as including conjugal relations.
Calling their relationship a friendship is a partial truth at best.*
So, in other words, it is another lie. The OM/OW is their adultery partner…not just “a friend.”
*I would add here that even calling their relationship “friendship” is a stretch. What friend willing participates in behavior left unchecked and unrepented will lead to the eternal damnation of their friend’s soul?! That is not a friend.
**A version of this post ran previously.
Republished with permission from www.divorceminister.com.