5 Powerful Phrases Every Boy Wants to Hear - Melanie Redd

Boys.

They come in all shapes and sizes.

Some are loud and messy; others and neat and deep-thinking.

My boy stands well over six feet tall and eats us out of house and home.

He’s also incredibly kind, generous, smart, and hard-working.

And, although our boys are typically less emotional and less dramatic than our girls, they still need to hear positive and affirming words from us.

They may shrug off your attempts to hug them and affirm them, but deep inside they are listening!

So, what can you say to them?

What do they need to hear from us?

Boys may shrug off your attempts to hug them and affirm them, but deep inside they are listening! Click To Tweet

Boys need to be encouraged just as much (if not more) than our girls.

I am privileged to be the mom of both a boy and a girl. And, our girls have certain things they need to hear.

Today’s feature; however, is written with my son in mind.

1) “You are LOVED!”

We love you, period!

We love you as a person, as an individual, and as God’s perfect creation.

• It doesn’t matter what you do or what you don’t do.

• Truly, it doesn’t matter where you go or where you don’t go.

• It doesn’t matter what you choose or what you don’t choose.

• We just love you as you are, and nothing can change that!

• And, by the way, your heavenly Father loves you too!

In fact, in Romans 8:38-39, He promises that NOTHING can change His love for us or separate us from His love:

“None of this fazes us because Jesus loves us. I’m absolutely convinced that nothing—nothing living or dead, angelic or demonic, today or tomorrow, high or low, thinkable or unthinkable—absolutely nothing can get between us and God’s love because of the way that Jesus our Master has embraced us.”

Our boys need to hear often that they are loved and accepted unconditionally, much like the way our God loves us.

Our boys need to hear often that they are loved and accepted unconditionally, much like the way our God loves us. Click To Tweet

2) “You are GOOD at _______.” 

(Fill in the blank with at least one thing that your boy does well).

Boys need to be encouraged in their skills and abilities; they need to be verbally told that they are good at at least one thing.

Feeling “significant” is huge for our boys.

Boys need to be encouraged in their skills and abilities; they need to be verbally told that they are good at least one thing. Click To Tweet

Let me illustrate…

For several years, I had the chance to work in an elementary school that was attended only by boys. It was an all-boys school.

As a young, single college graduate, I spent many hours everyday training, instructing, helping, and equipping 8-9-year-old young men.

I remember one of the very first lessons that I learned about boys – they respond very well to sincere praise and compliments.

When I would offer a good word to one of my young students, I would watch his shoulders visible lift.

There might be no other reaction, but the shoulder lift happened every time with every boy that I praised.

Boys need to have their “shoulders lifted” daily.

So, what about your boy(s):

• What are you saying to the boys in your life that will lift up their shoulders?

• How are you sincerely complimenting their hard work?

• What are the positive skills, talents, and abilities you encouraging?

For example, my son is a computer whiz.

Since he was 18 months old, he has loved to play on, tinker with, and use computers. (Riley is pictured above at about that age).

We complimented his skills from the very first time that we noticed those skills.

And, for most of his life, we have encouraged him in the direction of computers with our words, our time, and our money.

Today, my son builds his own computers and does incredible video editing for his job.

What about your boy? What is he good at?

• Maybe he is good at sports,

• Maybe he loves to cook,

• Or he is great with people,

• Maybe he is an excellent writer,

• It could be that he is mechanical and can fix anything,

• Maybe he can argue and debate with the best,

• Or, maybe there is some other skill that your boy has.

Whatever his skills and interests may be, I encourage you to tell your son how good he is at these things.

Open your mouth and give that young man hope! Remind them over and over about their giftedness. And, watch for the shoulder lift.

Whatever his skills and interests may be, I encourage you to tell your son how good he is at these things. Click To Tweet

3) “God has a GREAT PLAN for your life!”

Our boys need to know that Almighty God created them as an original, a one-of-a-kind masterpiece.

They also need to hear how this same God has an amazing plan for their lives. This is a great time to share Bible verses of hope with our boys.

Here are a few that I have shared and continue to share with both of my kids:

Psalm 139:13-16

Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out;
    you formed me in my mother’s womb.
I thank you, High God-you are breathtaking!
    Body and soul, I am marvelously made!
    I worship in adoration—what a creation!
You know me inside and out,
    and you know every bone in my body;
You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit,
    how I was sculpted from nothing into something.
Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth;
    all the stages of my life were spread out before you,
The days of my life all prepared
    before I’d even lived one day.

Jeremiah 29:11

‘For I know the plans that I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.’

Philippians 1:6

“being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ;”

Remind your boys that God does have a plan and a special purpose for their lives.

Young men especially can “lose their way” between the ages of about 16-26.

We must speak these truths into their lives.

• Text them.

• Email them.

• Call them.

Remind your boys that God does have a plan and a special purpose for their lives. Click To Tweet

4) “Life will have many CHALLENGES!”

We need to teach our boys that life will not be without its hard days, bad days, and really difficult moments.

We do not need to remove every obstacle from their lives or rescue them from everything hard.

Our boys need to understand what it is to work hard, face troubles, and deal with adversity.

Of course, we can support them, encourage them, and pray for them; but we must let them FACE real life.

As moms especially, we must not coddle them and hover over them like giant helicopters.

We must let our boys be boys so that they can become men – strong men.

And, show them how to turn to Jesus when life gets hard. Teach them to pray, to look into God’s Word, and to depend upon their Savior when storms blow into their lives.

In John 16:33, Jesus promised:

“These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world, you will have tribulation, but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.”

Remind your boy(s) often that life has some great challenges.

Remind your boy(s) often that life has some great challenges. Click To Tweet

5) “You were made to be STRONG, to LEAD, and to WORK HARD!”

Explain the way that God set up roles for men and women, and how things are to be established in the home.

You can use Genesis 3 and the story of Adam and Eve to explain these things to your boys.

Explain the way that God set up roles for men and women, and how things are to be established in the home. Click To Tweet

I’ve listed the particular verses that pertain to the roles that God set up:

Then he said to the woman,

“I will sharpen the pain of your pregnancy,
    and in pain, you will give birth.
And you will desire to control your husband,
    but he will rule over you.”

And to the man he said,

“Since you listened to your wife and ate from the tree
    whose fruit I commanded you not to eat,
the ground is cursed because of you.
    All your life you will struggle to scratch a living from it.
It will grow thorns and thistles for you,
    though you will eat of its grains.

 By the sweat of your brow
    will you have food to eat
until you return to the ground
    from which you were made.
For you were made from dust,
    and to dust, you will return.”

Explain to your boys that God made them strong for a reason.

They are to lead their homes and families well and to work hard.

Teach them the importance of hard work – especially for men.

Some people may think that this is instinctive for young men, but I’m seeing a rather disturbing shift take place in this current generation of young adults.

My husband and I live in a place where we are surrounded by many twenty-somethings, most of them are newlyweds.

In many of these homes, the young women are going out and serving as breadwinners while the men stay at home and “play” or work just a little.

Many of the men are becoming the primary caretaker of the kids while these wives work all of the time.

I am not against women working at all. I applaud these young girls and their willingness to give 100% for their families. So many women are incredibly gifted and capable, and I am all for women using these talents.

And, sometimes there are unusual circumstances where a wife and mom must be the primary breadwinner.

However, I am deeply concerned about a generation of very lazy, carefree young men who are not taking up the mantle and providing for their families.

God specially crafted our young men to go out, work hard, and bring home provision.

They are “designed” to do this.

Please teach your boys to be strong leaders, to be good providers, and to get up and take care of their families.

Their future wives and kids will thank you.

Every boy needs to hear positive encouragement from their parents and those who love them.

Your boy(s) these 5 Powerful Phrases Every Boy must want to Hear:

1) “You are LOVED!”

2) “You are GOOD at _____________.”

3) “God has a GREAT PLAN for your life!”

4) “Life will have many CHALLENGES!”

5) “You were made to be STRONG, to LEAD and to WORK HARD!”

I encourage you today to open your mouth and start speaking these things into your boy’s life today!

Want more parenting encouragement?

The Danger of Losing Your Child’s Heart

7 Positive Ways to Pray for Middle Schoolers

5 Things Every Girl Needs to Hear

7 Stellar Ways to Pray for Teens

How to Powerfully Pray for that Child that is Away 

How to Enjoy Your Kids Right Now

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