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God-sized Cheater Problem – Divorce Minister


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Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight; so you are right in your verdict and justified when you judge.

-Psalm 51:4, NIV

You cry out, “Why doesn’t the LORD accept my worship?” I’ll tell you why! Because the LORD witnessed the vows you and your wife made when you were young. But you have been unfaithful to her, though she remained your faithful partner, the wife of your marriage vows.

-Malachi 2:14, NLT

Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.

-Galatians 6:7, KJV

The Jude0-Christian concept of marriage is one of covenant where three parties are involved–namely, the husband, the wife, and God.

To violate the marriage vows means breaking faith not only with one’s spouse but also with God.

A cheater may be able to fool the faithful partner or even work the justice and church systems to their favor. However, God is a wronged party in this equation, and God will not be mocked. The Bible is very clear on that matter.

It astounds me how often God’s role in the marriage covenant is forgotten when dealing with situations of adultery within “Christian” community. 

“The Shared Responsibility Lie” is rolled out to suggest the adultery victim caused their own victimization and is somehow complicit in the cheater’s choice to sin against him or her.

But rare is the pastoral counsel that points the cheater to the spiritual perils created by his or her unfaithful actions in regards to his or her now fractured relationship with God.

Too often, pastors and other Christian leaders are so focused upon the couple that they loose sight that our primary relationship is with God and that relationship is directly impacted by committing adultery.

A cheater breaks faith not only with their spouse but also with God!

God does not tempt us into sin (see James 1:13). An adulterous spouse fully owns his or her sin before God.

So, if that relationship with God is ruptured by committing adultery, how is it repaired?

It is repaired through repentance (see Acts 2:38). And such repentance includes “making it right” with the other human wronged–i.e. the faithful spouse.

So, a remorseless cheater does not simply have a problem with the faithful spouse. He or she has a God-Sized problem as their relationship with God remains fractured and that left unaddressed has eternal implications (see Hebrews 10:26-27).

*A version of this post ran previously.

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Republished with permission from www.divorceminister.com.

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