Adultery

20 Stories
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    Well, what did you contribute to the breakdown of your marriage? - Divorce Minister

    “Well, what did you contribute to the breakdown of your marriage?” I hate that question. It is a “Loaded Question”–meaning it assumes you did something to destroy your marriage. Such questions are errors in reasoning–i.e. logical fallacies. While the question looks reasonable, it is really just a dressed up version of “The Shared Responsibility Lie,” … Continue reading "Well, what did you contribute to the breakdown of your marriage?"

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    Somehow I was wrong?! - Divorce Minister

    “This is the way of an adulterous woman: She eats and wipes her mouth and says, ‘I’ve done nothing wrong.’” -Proverbs 30:20, NIV I wonder how many of us had “skilled” Cheaters who could turn their wrong into “our” fault in the therapist’s or pastor’s office. Maybe they even freely admitted to cheating on you … Continue reading "Somehow I was wrong?!"

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    If not you, then someone else. - Divorce Minister

    21 For from within, out of a person’s heart, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, 22 adultery, greed, wickedness, deceit, lustful desires, envy, slander, pride, and foolishness. -Mark 7:21-22, NLT If not you, then someone else. I suspect the seeds for cheating were already planted within the Cheater’s heart when we first married them. They may or … Continue reading "If not you, then someone else."

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    "Bitter" used to discredit and dismiss - Divorce Minister

    See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many. See that no one is sexually immoral…. -Hebrews 12:15-16a, NIV I am troubled. What bothers me is how the word “bitter” is used to discredit and silence victims of adultery. … Continue reading "“Bitter” used to discredit and dismiss"

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    Meditating on Psalm 89:14 - Divorce Minister

    Righteousness and justice are the foundation of your throne; love and faithfulness go before you. -Psalm 89:14, NIV I believe adultery is affront to the very throne or authority of God. As the Psalmist states here, we see love and faithfulness as linked to the symbol of God’s authority–i.e. His throne. Adultery is the opposite … Continue reading "Meditating on Psalm 89:14"

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    Be prepared. Post discovery and meeting for "help." - Divorce Minister

    Cheating is exposed. Now, the cheater is willing to go to couples therapy and rebuild what the cheater destroyed. How does a faithful spouse approach such sessions with a Christian couples counselor? 1. Remember you have choices here. Did you choose this counselor? What do you know about him or her? If this person is … Continue reading "Be prepared. Post discovery and meeting for “help.”"

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    No blaming of faithful spouse - Divorce Minister

    10 Jesus straightened up and asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?” 11 “No one, sir,” she said. “Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.” -John 8:10-11, NIV Lessons from the Woman Caught In Adultery Story What strikes me–among many things–in this story is how … Continue reading "No blaming of faithful spouse"

    2 min readadulteryCouples
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    Unlimited: God’s Intention For Marriage | Good News Unlimited

    Human relationships have always been one of the most difficult things for people to navigate. And it was like that in in Jesus’ time as well. The Pharisees had a question for Jesus about marriage and divorce. To understand what Jesus said here and in subsequent verses, you have to first understand the context. First, notice that this took place in “the region of Judaea and across the Jordan.” This is the region in which not too long ago, John the Baptist had been arrested and killed over what he had to say about marriage, adultery, and divorce. And Herod’s adulterous marriage was still a hot topic of conversation.

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    "For the kids" Really?! - Divorce Minister

    Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. -Hebrews 13:4, NIV Adulterous spouses have no shame. On one hand, they will willfully and maliciously disregard how their selfish sinful choices impact their children. Then, on the other hand, they will … Continue reading "“For the kids” Really?!"

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    That old bitter card - Divorce Minister

    Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord. See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many. – Hebrews 12:14-15, NIV I am suspicious of … Continue reading "That old bitter card"

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    Not an youth problem! - Divorce Minister

    Then Samuel asked, “Are these all the sons you have?” “There is still the youngest,” Jesse replied. “But he’s out in the fields watching the sheep and goats.” “Send for him at once,” Samuel said. “We will not sit down to eat until he arrives.” -I Samuel 16:11, NLT Not much has changed in years … Continue reading "Not an youth problem!"

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    Marriage resurrection is a miracle, not normal outcome. - Divorce Minister

    ….but the angel said, “Don’t be alarmed. You are looking for Jesus of Nazareth, who was crucified. He isn’t here! He is risen from the dead! Look, this is where they laid his body.” -Mark 16:6, NLT Resurrection is unexpected. It is not how things normally go. This is in part why Jesus coming back from … Continue reading "Marriage resurrection is a miracle, not normal outcome."

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    Refusing to see victims! - Divorce Minister

    2 “How long will you defend the unjust and show partiality to the wicked? 3 Defend the weak and the fatherless; uphold the cause of the poor and the oppressed. 4 Rescue the weak and the needy; deliver them from the hand of the wicked.” -Psalm 82:2-4, NIV How can justice be done if we refuse to acknowledge the existence … Continue reading "Refusing to see victims!"

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    "Unmet Needs" Excuse-aka Lie - Divorce Minister

    The “Unmet Needs” Theory Lie: Put succinctly… …teaches faithful spouses that their deficiencies at home is what drove the adulterous spouse to cheat. The faithful spouse was not sexually available enough. The faithful spouse was not emotionally adept and engaged enough. You know the drill. I have heard in horror how even pastors operate under … Continue reading "“Unmet Needs” Excuse–aka Lie"