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Love Is What Love Does


(Photo: Unsplash)

…as they say, and according to my interpretation of 1 Corinthians 13: 4 -7. Actions speak volumes. I want to talk about love, because the word love is often slandered. Some women have admitted that as girls, they witnessed their mothers being abused and they thought the abuse was love. It is all they knew at the time. I hear statements like “love hurts” or “love is dangerous.” If love does hurt, this could be from the discomfort of the person choosing to love someone else under inconvenient or difficult circumstances.

Love does not harm anyone. Love from another person should not hurt, unless it is corrective love and the recipient may be offended at the truth that is spoken in love. Or, as previously mentioned, one chooses to inconvenience themselves for the sake of another. Other than that, why should love hurt?

Some people betray each other and then claim that love hurts. Betrayal is not love. Love is not simply a word or a feeling either. To truly love someone is to take action in loving them, even if it is uncomfortable or inconvenient. Love is expressed also in words of affirmation, appreciation, respect, gratitude, encouragement, kindness, for examples.

I know many unhappy women who are in relationships or married. People have the right idea; they desire love, they want relationships, but learning how to love and have a healthy relationship is an ongoing process. It seems that to an extent, nowadays, toxic relationships have been somewhat normalized. Some couples seem to feed off of the drama. Some people even seem to be addicted to it, and then, things can really escalate.

Sometimes, people are not dealing with certain issues and getting necessary healing before entering a relationship. This can cause a lot of friction within the relationship and this can also sabotage the relationship. I know that no relationship is perfect. Each relationship has its ups and downs. There will be trials and tribulations, no matter who the couple is. There will be wrongs that need to be made right. Grace and mercy are necessities to extend to each other. Sincere apologies given and received, along with repentance are ongoing requirements.

One thing I do not understand is how some people throw the word love around, claiming to love someone; and treat last week’s trash better than they treat their partner or spouse.

Alternating acts of benevolence with cruel treatment does not cancel out the cruel treatment or make the acts of benevolence authentic. If anything, such inconsistent behaviors show instability. These behaviors are tools of manipulation and add confusion to the mix. Even when people are driven by lust and having affairs, it is called a “love” triangle. Does love really have anything to do with it? Sounds to me more like a lust, covetousness and entitlement triangle on the part of those who are cheating.

It is important to know what love really is. 

Looking at people’s behaviors as they claim to love the people they mistreat, and listening to people’s different opinions or perspectives about what love is can be confusing. It is important for me personally to understand as much as possible what love is, and to do my best to manifest it. I continue to learn. The good news is, the word of God is a great guide!

Knowing what love is also educates me so that I can have the correct standards for the man I choose to be with. Yes, words are nice. I enjoy verbally expressing my love and also enjoy receiving verbal expression of love. However, I don’t forget that actions speak louder than words, as they say. My primary focus is on the actions that either prove love or show the absence of it.

In other words, infidelity, physical, emotional, verbal and other types of abuse, being controlling and manipulative are not signs of love. Somehow, in our culture, some people seem to find these behaviors acceptable. They are either perpetrators of these behaviors or they are the ones putting up with the behaviors. To make matters worse, couples like this often have children who will learn their ways.

Satan is the god of this world (2 Corinthians 4: 4), and this is why evil influence and bad behaviors are rampant. This evil opposes God and negatively affects relationships. God is love. The word of God lays it out perfectly what love is.

“Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged.

 It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.  Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.”
1 Corinthians 13: 4-7.

Used with permission from Petrina Ferguson.

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