— Grateful, yet Grieving
This Sunday, May 3, is officially National Widows Day, a day to raise awareness of the challenges widows face. Every day, approximately 2800 women become widows. According to the Holmes and Rahe Stress Scale, the loss of a spouse is the most stressful event a person will experience.
Like most days set aside to recognize and bring awareness to an issue, it’s designed for others to learn about the issue and the person who has experienced it. We may not realize the opportunity we have to educate others and help them develop a better understanding of life following the loss of a spouse. It seems obvious, but most people will never understand what it’s like to lose a spouse unless they experience it.
This past year, I’ve been part of a ministry called Never Alone Widows. It’s a national faith-based organization based in Atlanta, Georgia, designed to offer hope, healing, comfort, and community to widows. We meet monthly to allow space to share and encourage one another. Each time I’m in the room with 30 or so women, I’m amazed at the immediate connection we all feel. It’s like we say without saying, “You, too?…. I know you understand.”
One of the most meaningful parts of our meeting is called table talk. We design questions to elicit discussion about the topic and engage with each other. Before we answer the questions, we say our husband’s name and how long he’s been gone. It’s a tender time to speak our husband’s name and let ourselves hear it once again.
When we know we are not alone, we begin to experience a sense of validation and connection. We feel better. We can keep going. We discover a different life. We find new growth opportunities. As Isaiah 61:3 offers, “out of the ashes we rise.”
