13 Things That Happen When Couples Stop Spending Quality Time Together - Olubunmi Mabel

If there’s one thing I know about the five different love languages that exist, it is that every relationship needs a good measure of each of them to thrive.

So, for your relationship to blossom and deeply flourish, there must be a good blend of words of affirmation, giving and receiving gifts, quality time, acts of service, and physical touch in the right proportions.

This healthy mix will make the relationship advance.

So whether or not they’re your primary love language, you have to communicate them at some point in your relationship because the need will arise.

That being said, it goes without saying that if a couple stops spending quality time together, there will be consequences.

Time is of the essence in many areas of our lives, and this also applies to maintaining healthy relationships.

When a relationship lacks quality time, expect to see the following repercussions.

1. Communication break

One thing that happens when quality time is spent together is lengthy heart-to-heart conversations.

So when a couple, for any reason, stops dedicating their precious time to each other, the quality and even quantity of their communication will be affected; there are no two ways about it.

They may still find ways to talk here and there, but compared to the quality of conversations they should have, that’s trifling.

In no time, they’ll observe that they no longer know much about each other and are way behind on current details about each other’s lives.

This alone can spiral into many other negative outcomes for the relationship.

But let me not go ahead of myself; let us look at the other consequences.

2. Emotional distance

Not spending time together affects not just the physical connection between couples but also their emotional connection.

You must have heard the saying “out of sight, out of mind.”

This saying is true in many ways because, as human beings, we tend to stop thinking about something or someone if we don’t see that thing or person for some time.

If the thing or person in question is an insignificant part of our lives, it’s understandable, but not when it is your partner. 

An emotional distance will be created whether the couple likes it or not.

They soon begin to experience feelings of neglect and abandonment by their partner and the connection gradually washes off.

Before you know it, they can no longer bond or relate emotionally, leaving both parties feeling disconnected from each other.

3. More arguments and misunderstandings

If you ever thought the absence of quality time in a relationship was not a serious cause for concern, think again.

Couples who don’t spend quality time together have been discovered to have more misunderstandings and fights.

It’s wild because they already have limited time to spend with each other, and from that limited time, they still manage to use some of it to fight.

But it’s not directly intentional; it’s just how it is.

When couples don’t give each other time, their conflicts will increase because there’s a decline in the investments to nurture their relationship.

So, little things can easily turn into a fight, escalating fast for no obvious reason.

4. Resentment

The rise in conflicts resulting from couples not spending quality time together can easily morph into resentment.

This is because when these fights happen, they require quality time to be fixed, and the couple already lacks that.

So, issues escalate, remain unresolved, and build up over time.

One or both partners may start to feel resentful and bitter.

5. Less friendship

A good relationship has the foundation of a good friendship, which grows because the couple spends time with each other.

The friendship may be sustained for a while, even without quality time, but there’s only how long that can go on.

As time passes, the friendship will begin to fade, and things will go wrong.

No matter how closely knit a couple is, when they stop spending quality time together, it’s only a matter of time before they start feeling like strangers to each other.

This is because spending quality time together strengthens the friendship aspect of the relationship.

Automatically, when this diminishes, the couple will lose the sense of being besties and allies.

It’s just the way it is; I don’t make the rules.

6. Intimacy takes a downward spiral

If the friendship in the relationship is taking a hit, you know for sure that intimacy will not be spared.

Failure to spend quality time together as a couple directly leads to a decline in physical intimacy.

When couples don’t spend time together, they reduce the amount of time available for bonding and build up to physical intimacy.

They also reduce the chances of getting involved in any form of physical activity itself.

The reason is that quality time is essential for maintaining emotional and physical intimacy in a relationship.

When it diminishes, intimacy can decline.

7. Fewer opportunities to connect

Less quality time together directly equals fewer opportunities to connect as a couple.

Shared experiences and activities have a way of providing bonding opportunities for couples.

They create valuable memories together, and this serves as a further fortification to solidify their relationship.

In the absence of quality time, the opportunities for them to connect are drastically reduced, and the bond between partners weakens.

8. Unmet needs

Sometimes couples need to spend a good time together to know each other better and understand each other’s needs.

Surface interaction and on-and-off meetings won’t do.

Some needs can only be discovered, spoken about, and understood while spending quality time with each other.

So when quality time is absent, many relationship needs will remain unknown and inadvertently unmet.

The need for affection, support, and appreciation that are crucial for the satisfaction of both parties will not be met.

This can lead to frustration and disappointment.

9. Stress skyrockets

A decrease in quality time leads to increased stress because couples are not providing each other with the necessary support.

Sometimes, when life becomes too much for people in a relationship, quality time together can serve as a buffer against stress.

Without it, individuals may experience higher stress levels as they lack emotional support and relaxation.

Their partner, who should serve as a reliable support system, is not even available.

This may eventually lead to feelings of isolation.

10. Increased individuality

Maintaining your individuality even in a relationship is fantastic, but there is a balance.

Relationships exist for a reason: unity and togetherness; this contributes its level of wholesomeness to the lives of the couple.

When quality time is not spent together, partners will start engaging more in individual activities and hobbies.

This will lead to further distancing from each other, and the ripple effect is not pleasant.

The couple’s shared goals weaken, and their bond begins to fade.

If they’re parents, they may experience challenges in parenting because of their misalignment.

This is not good for a relationship as it will make the couples experience many unnecessary challenges.

11. Third parties start to creep in

When couples stop spending quality time together, they’re likely spending it with other people.

It may not start as anything serious or intimate; it could just be hanging out with a particular friend all the time or spending time with a colleague.

With time, these harmless relationships can lead to something else.

Have you heard it said that “affection flows where attention goes?”

This is so true.

The lack of quality time creates the risk of infidelity and growing apart.

One or both partners may decide to seek emotional or physical intimacy outside the relationship.

12. Loss of romance

You can’t sustain a healthy romance with someone you only connect with occasionally.

This is why people in long-distance relationships and marriages require more intentionality, stronger resolves, and a deeper connection to make things work.

The absence of quality time in a relationship makes romance difficult.

The passion that exists can’t be properly expressed and communicated without quality; consequently, it is eroded over time.

13. The relationship stops progressing

A relationship where quality time is absent will in no time start experiencing stagnation and setbacks.

Thanks to the distance created, there’ll be poor investments in the relationship by both parties, which compromises the relationship’s growth and longevity.

The partners are not motivated to invest time and work in the relationship, and this will make it suffer.

Couples begin to experience consistent unhappiness, dissatisfaction, or even indifference towards each other.

Eventually, the relationship may become too unhealthy to survive, so it bites the dust.

When quality time is absent from a relationship for a long time, there’s already a potential for the dissolution of that relationship.

This is why couples who want a thriving relationship must be committed to and intentional about spending quality time together.

This is a non-negotiable factor to nurture their bond, maintain intimacy, and sustain a healthy, fulfilling relationship.