7 Signs A Married Man Is Drifting Away From His Wife - Olubunmi Mabel
Marriage can be a very enjoyable experience when it is between two people who are intentional about their relationship.
The problem most people have in marriage is that it is very easy to become so comfortable in the relationship that it becomes routine.
Don’t get me wrong, being comfortable with your husband isn’t bad.
In fact, if you are not comfortable with your husband, who will you be comfortable with?
However, when you get too comfortable with your husband, everything just seems to be a routine.
Your relationship may begin to lack the spontaneity, passion, and spark it used to have.
It is during these periods that it begins to seem that there is a gulf between you.
The dicey thing about it is that many couples are not necessarily sensitive enough to notice the changes in their relationship.
They still like each other.
They still feel that little spark occasionally.
But really, things are no longer the same as before.
In this article, we will explore the signs that a married man is drifting away from his wife.
As a bonus, I will also recommend some simple strategies for bridging the gap with him and regaining your marriage.
Let’s get started!
1. He spends more time away from home
This is the most common sign a married man is drifting away from his wife.
When a married man is passionately involved with his wife, he wants to spend as much time with her as possible.
This is just natural.
Even adolescents and children feel the need to spend time with the people they love.
Spending time with the people you love helps you build your connection and intimacy with them.
This is why this can be a major sign of a married man drifting away from his wife.
He starts spending a lot more time away from home.
Usually, he starts by spending time away at work or hanging out with his friends.
When a married man spends more time in the company of friends than with his family, it’s a sign that something is wrong.
The saddest part about staying away from home is that it widens the gulf between couples until they become strangers who only share the same house.
Then, after a while, his time away from home may not just be spent at work or with friends.
He may start spending time with another woman.
The fact is that when a married man spends so much time away from home, it has no good consequences for the marriage.
However, you can’t conclude based on this alone.
Your husband may be busy at work, so you need to look out for other signs.
If your husband is spending so much time away from home, you need to talk to him to find out what’s actually happening.
Talk to him openly without sounding judgmental and suggest ways to fix whatever is going wrong in the marriage.
Plan a date night, cook his favorite meal for dinner, and encourage him to come home early from work.
Apart from this, the house should also feel like a safe space for him.
Try not to nag or pester him.
If there are pending issues to resolve, there are effective conflict resolution methods that can be deployed instead of nagging him.
You want him to be a better version of himself?.
Encourage him without being overly critical.
2. He avoids intimacy
Intimacy is necessary in a relationship, and spending quality time together is how couples get intimate.
Intimacy isn’t just limited to sex.
It involves every aspect of a relationship.
It is what keeps the relationship alive.
When a married man drifts away from his wife, intimacy is one of the first things to suffer in the relationship.
He avoids intimacy like it’s the plague, and when he subjects himself to it, it has this forced quality about it.
You can sense that it is not natural.
Have you ever had a conversation with someone who doesn’t like you?
It feels phony, and you know deep within you that this person doesn’t actually like you.
Well, it is the same with a married man drifting away from his wife.
He avoids intimate conversations, doesn’t want to share his emotions, and definitely doesn’t want to know how you feel.
He also avoids having sex with you, and when he does have sex with you, it feels so mechanical and forced.
It’s almost like there is something robotic about him.
You may not know what to call it, but you are very sure that what you experienced was not “lovemaking.”
If this is what it is like for you, try to involve your husband in exciting conversations.
Talk to him about those things he is interested in.
If he still avoids this attempt, you need to talk to him about what you have noticed.
Tell him how you noticed that he avoids deep conversations and sex with you.
Ask him what the cause is, and keep an open mind.
Be ready to implement any reasonable suggestions he makes.
3. He doesn’t confide in you
One of the greatest benefits of marriage is the prospect of a lifetime confidant.
Marriage ideally provides you with someone with whom you can tell everything you want.
It provides you with a confidant with whom you can share your burdens.
While being burdened is not pleasant, it is a privilege that most married people love to give to their partners.
Husbands and wives should be able to share details of their lives with each other.
A major sign of a married man drifting away from his wife is his hesitation to confide in her.
In the beginning, you may not have noticed but it now seems like you know absolutely nothing about your husband’s life.
If you have noticed this sign, the first thing you need to do is to ask yourself why it is happening.
Could you have caused it by the way you may have treated the secrets he had confided in you in the past?
Did you treat them with levity or perhaps even share them with someone else?
If this is the case, it shouldn’t be surprising that he doesn’t trust you enough to tell you private things.
However, you may not be the reason for his secretiveness.
So, it is best to talk to him about it.
Ask him why it seems like you know nothing about his life anymore.
There may be another reason.
Don’t just assume.
4. He is over-critical
Criticism is not such a terrible thing.
In fact, a little criticism can do a relationship a lot of good.
People cannot be perfect, and constructive criticisms show a dedication to improving yourself and your partner.
However, when a man starts being overly critical of his wife, it may be a sign that he is drifting away from her.
It may seem like he no longer sees anything positive about her.
From his perspective, she can’t do anything right, and he doesn’t hesitate to tell her this in even more brutal terms.
Look, if you seem to have taken to tiptoeing through your marriage just to avoid attracting your husband’s criticisms, it may be a sign that he is drifting away from you.
No one intentionally hurts the people they love with their words.
When a man begins to be overly critical of you, it is a sign that he is drifting away from you.
Communicate.
Ensure that he knows how his criticisms make you feel bad.
Set boundaries for what is acceptable and what is not.
Then, in areas you need to improve, put in efforts to improve.
5. He doesn’t put effort into the marriage
Marriage is not like a plane; it doesn’t work well when left on autopilot.
Couples need to be intentional and deliberately invested in the success of their marriage.
When a married man is drifting away from his wife, he stops being intentional about his relationship with her.
He doesn’t seem inclined to put effort into the relationship, and hence, things may begin to go south.
He makes little or no conscious effort to communicate and spend time with his wife.
The worst part is that he makes no effort to resolve conflicts amicably in the relationship.
The whole relationship just feels so one-sided with the woman trying her best to keep the relationship going smoothly while her husband puts in zero effort.
6. He is always angry at her
It is normal for people to have conflict in any relationship.
Even the happiest couples have conflicts from time to time.
However, it becomes problematic when it seems like marriage has turned into a war front.
When a married man is always angry at his wife, it may be a sign that he is drifting away from her.
If it feels like you are starting to tiptoe around the house because you are scared of your husband’s anger, it is a sign that he is drifting away from you.
When a man is in love with his wife, the way he expresses his anger is very different from when he is angry at someone he doesn’t love.
If you feel your husband quarrels with you over even the smallest things, it is a sign that he is drifting away.
What you need to do is to address the elephant in the room.
Ask him what you have done to deserve the treatment he has been meting out to you.
Ensure that you don’t sound confrontational when you ask this question.
Just talk to him calmly and openly, expressing yourself and showing an inclination to improve yourself and your relationship.
7. He is indifferent
This is a terrible sign of drifting apart in a relationship.
I personally feel it is easier to deal with someone who hates you than someone who is just indifferent to you.
Indifference means that he doesn’t care about you, regardless of what you do.
When a married man is drifting away from his wife, he gets to the point of indifference.
At this point, he really doesn’t care a hoot about anything you say or do.
Your existence is just a minor disturbance to him, a disturbance he ignores.
He doesn’t care about your feelings and emotions.
He doesn’t even criticize you because it feels like a waste of energy to him.
He treats you the same way you treat a stranger on the road.
He is not interested in your life and treats every attempt to be involved in his life with disdain.
When indifference sets in, it may be a little harder to regain your marriage, but it’s not impossible.
Start communicating and encouraging more communication from him.
It is also important to find out the cause of the indifference.
Knowing the cause will help you know the areas you need to improve upon.
Dear reader, some of the signs above may look terrible and ominous, but you must never forget that drifting away doesn’t automatically mean leaving the relationship.
You can get your marriage back.
Don’t be afraid to communicate with your partner the very moment you spot something odd.
Remember that “a stitch in time saves nine.”
You should also engage the services of a professional marriage counselor if need be.
Also, your marriage may need a little bit of spontaneity to spice things up.
So, sometimes do fun things on the spur of the moment.
Initiate dates, write romantic notes to each other, and spend quality time together.
These are critical if you want to keep the passion burning in your marriage.
