In keeping with my theme of godly femininity and impacting others righteously, in this post, I am calling out something about certain (not all) black women. This is because what is right is right, and what is wrong is wrong, regardless of anything else.
It doesn’t matter if we are the same gender or if we have similar skin tones. I don’t take sides, based on superficial traits. I want to do what is right in the sight of God. The word of God says that we are to love others as we love ourselves (Matthew 22: 39).
God commands people to love one another. People shouldn’t be hating on each other out of envy. We shouldn’t be hating on each other at all.
If we are to love others as we love ourselves, this means that gossiping, sabotaging others, slandering others, bearing false witness, coveting what others have, resenting others for who they are, or for what they have, harming others emotionally, verbally and physically is wrong.
What I have noticed is that many girls and women tend to be catty and vicious toward each other. In my personal experiences, some black women have been the worst examples of this towards me.
I have heard on multiple occasions, other black women express that some black women have been most problematic for them as well. There are other women and girls who have been catty haters toward me. But for me as a black woman, in my experiences it has been more prevalent from other black women.
• There are many black girls and black women who suffer from spirits of rejection. This is in part, because of some black men rejecting them, preferring women of other races, preferring black women with different skin tones, different hair textures, etc. Some of these women are vicious.
• There are some black women who do not want to see other black women in healthy relationships with black men, because they are not with decent black men themselves.
• There are black women who are envious of black women who are married to rare, God- fearing, monogamous black men of integrity.
• There are black women who are envious of women who are married and in healthy situations, regardless of the color of their spouses. This is wrong.
One important thing is that Christians must pray for discernment. In our interactions with people, we come across all kinds of different personalities and spirits. I must say, I observe and discern that the spirit of envy is rampant. I understand that not everyone who wants to hang and lurk around me is my friend.
I understand that less is more, when it comes to how much I tell people about myself. By the grace of God, I realize I must be discerning and selective about the company I keep.
I remember some women clearly stating that if another woman simply walks into the room, they can hate her instantaneously.
Perhaps they hate her because of her appearance? In their minds, they may have already assumed or perceived that she’s desired by many men.
Perhaps they hate her because she appears younger than them. Perhaps they hate her because she is more slim, or more curvy than them. God knows. Regardless of the reasons for their hate, their hatred is demonic.
Christians are held to even higher standards than those who do not follow Jesus.
• Women who profess to be Christians must put away their hatred, envy and bitterness.
• We must seek the healing and deliverance we need so that we do not suffer from low self-esteem.
• We must know our identities in Christ so that we know our worth in His sight.
I understand that cattiness and hating is not only an issue among black women I have experienced with other women also. We are all commanded to love our neighbors as we love ourselves. We must love God above all else. The word of God says that if we love God, we keep His commandments.
Helpful Bible Verses
“A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another.
By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.“
John 13: 34-35.
Jesus says, “If ye love me, keep my commandments.” John 14: 15.
Friends, this verse is an important reminder to be very prayerful, discerning and careful with others. I will do the same. The spirit of envy is a very dangerous spirit.
“Wrath is cruel, and anger is outrageous; but who is able to stand before envy?” Proverbs 27: 4
