That invisible "No Longer Welcome Sign" tears at the heart and leaves an already hurting person with deeper pain.Why do so many Christian churches shame and shun their own people? Sometimes there is also fear that the "divorce germ" may spread, influencing others to leave their spouses.Whatever the reason, the victims of this behavior often leave church, never to return. I've been in those shoes. Look at their website. 3. Be wiseLook for possible areas that would make you stumble: the position of women in the church, a personality cult around the pastor, the amount of authority the church exercises in its members' lives, etc.4.