God has a sense of humor. Do you believe that? I do. While I could give many reasons (Exhibit A: the duckbill platypus), I need look no farther than my own home. 

Going against the grain of “normal,” my husband and I opted to not find out the gender of either of our children before they were born. This, of course, led to the inevitable question, “What are you hoping for?” The truth was that while I didn’t know much about raising little boys, I was even more nervous about the prospect of raising a little girl. I don’t like pink, I can’t do hair, and I have no interest in playing with Barbies. 

In His wise and gracious providence, however, God gave us a son and a daughter. My six-year-old son, rough-and-tumble, vehicle-obsessed, and completely unaware of his size and strength, is “all boy.” Meanwhile, my three-year-old daughter could not be any girlier if she tried. Sparkles, nail polish, tutus, unicorns, pink-and-purple everything, hair bows, and princess shoes—if it’s girly, she likes it. 

But not everyone fits into these stereotypical boxes. Perhaps you’re a guy who prefers Anne of Green Gables over the Marvel Cinematic Universe, or enjoys crocheting over hunting. Or maybe you’re a woman who would rather wield a chainsaw than a mascara wand, or play in the church softball league than get a manicure. (Of course, these aren’t all mutually exclusive, but you get my drift.) A few weeks ago, I wrote about why the biblical view of gender is both freeing and God-glorifying. With that groundwork laid, let’s consider the question of “what now?” 

“Silencio, Bruno!” 

As image-bearers, we humans have a constant internal monologue running through our minds, reminding us of tasks that need to be done, groceries that need to be bought, and birthdays that are coming up. This monologue, though, tells us much more than mundane facts. All too often, our minds become both interpreters for what has already happened and ominous predictors of what is yet to come. 

From repeatedly replaying conversations—examining them from every angle for mistakes and miscues—to perseverating on and catastrophizing about future problems, our minds can be scary and chaotic places. This can be especially true for those who see themselves as different from everyone else, particularly in the realm of gender conformity. You feel out of place because you like the wrong things, dress in the wrong clothes, watch the wrong movies, and have the wrong interests. You might even start wondering if you’re in the wrong body.

When these thoughts start crowding in, you need to say, “Silencio, Bruno!”

Let me explain.

In the animated film Luca, Alberto tries to get Luca to do something stupid—ride a homemade “motorcycle” off a big jump. In doing so, he teaches Luca to say, “Silencio, Bruno!” over and over again, until the little voice in his head telling him not to do something dangerous has been silenced. 

While I do not advocate searing your conscience in such a way, Alberto’s advice is actually a good picture of what the apostle Paul refers to as taking “every thought captive” (2 Cor. 10:5) or what Martin Lloyd Jones famously described as “talking to yourself” instead of “listening to yourself.” You may not say it out loud, but sometimes you have to tell that internal monologue, “Silencio, Bruno!” and stop letting it boss you around. 

But putting an end to unbiblical thoughts isn’t enough. You also need to recalibrate your mind to focus on the right things. 

Change the Internal Narrative

First, lift your eyes and behold the transcendent Creator in His glory. In our feelings of misery, loneliness, and despair, we can start to believe all sorts of lies about who God is. After silencing this “Bruno,” we must speak truth about the character of God. 

To do this, you could open your Bible to almost any page, but why not start with Psalm 139? In the verses of this Hebrew song, you’ll learn much about God and His relationship to His image-bearers.

  • He knows you (v. 1). Nothing is hidden from His view, and this does nothing to change how He feels about you. You have no secrets from Him. He knows your thoughts before you think them, your songs before you sing them, your posts before you post them, and your words before you say them. 
  • He sees you (vv. 7–12). Maybe you feel forgotten and hidden in your differentness. Take heart. The Creator of the ends of the earth sees you. Your way is not hidden from the Lord. His understanding surpasses your wildest imagination (Isa. 40:27–28).
  • He created you (Psalm 139:14–16). You’re not an accident. A sovereign, wise, intentional Creator put you together. His works are wonderful and personal. He is both transcendent (far above you) and immanent (near to you). 
  • He thinks about you (vv. 17–18). That’s right. The infinite, eternal, all-powerful God of the universe thinks innumerable thoughts about you. 

After you’ve considered who God is, take time to consider who you are. For those who have accepted Christ as Savior, the gospel has become the core of your identity—not your taste in clothes, movies, or hobbies. You’re not a weirdo, a misfit, an outcast, or a loser. According to Scripture, you are . . .

  • Chosen before the foundation of the world (Eph. 1:4).
  • A new creation (2 Cor. 5:17).
  • Robed in the righteousness of Jesus Himself (2 Cor. 5:21).
  • Seated with Christ in the heavenly places, far above all rule and authority and power and dominion (Eph. 1:20–21; 2:6).
  • Adopted into the family of God (Eph. 1:5; Rom. 8:23).
  • Loved with an unbreakable love (Rom. 8:38–39).
  • Eternally secure in the hands of the Savior (John 10:27–29).
  • Forgiven according to the riches of God’s grace (Eph. 1:7).
  • Heir to an imperishable, incorruptible, unfading inheritance (1 Pet. 1:4).
  • Granted access to the throne of God to receive mercy and find grace to help in your time of need (Heb. 4:16).

Drink in the gospel and secure your feet in the truth of your eternal identity. 

Leverage Your Uniqueness to the Glory of God 

As you fight to renew your mind with the truth of God’s Word, you must also lace up your boots and get busy pursuing the advancement of His kingdom. Our feelings can all too easily jump into the driver’s seat and steer us to inaction. Instead of allowing our differences to add depth, spice, and variety to a monochromatic space, we assume that our lack of conformity to gender stereotypes somehow disqualifies us from participating at all. 

But what if the God who made more stars than we can count, who created over three hundred thousand types of beetles and approximately thirty-five thousand types of fish, and who wove diversity into every layer of His creation actually wants you to use your uniqueness in a way that glorifies Him? What if you’ve been created a little differently from the average man or woman on purpose?

Though my interests may differ from those of a “typical” woman, I can still contribute to God’s kingdom. I can use my love of sports to coach and disciple girls on my basketball team to God’s glory. I can run a shot clock or scoreboard at sporting events for the Christian school I work for and even organize a basketball tournament. I may never be asked to decorate the church for Christmas, but I can teach a woman’s Bible study or send a text of encouragement to a hurting friend. 

God may not have equipped you with the same proclivities as other people of your gender but that doesn’t mean He intends you to watch from the sidelines. How can you leverage your God-given talents, interests, and gifts for His glory?

Silence your internal “Bruno” that’s telling you the lie that your differences make you inferior. Anchor yourself in the character of God. Take a firm grip of your identity in Christ. And leverage your lack of conformity to gender stereotypes to the glory of God. 

If this blog post by Cindy has been a blessing to you, would you consider partnering with us to provide more resources like this to women desperately in need of finding freedom, fullness, and fruitfulness in Christ? Revive Partners are part of a team of faithful monthly contributors whose gifts make it possible for Revive Our Hearts to produce biblically rich content to help women be fruitful in every season of life. Learn more by visiting ReviveOurHearts.com/partner.