Following Jesus Is Very Costly and Definitely Worthwhile | Anita Mathias: Dreaming Beneath the Spire…

Christ Carrying the Cross, El Greco

(I have read this meditation on the podcast above. I hope you enjoy it. Feedback welcome!)

 Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it.” Matthew 16:24-25

Jesus is blazingly honest about the cost of following him. It’s our

most brilliant, golden choice, though it does means we can no

longer follow ourselves, and our self-indulgent or prideful desires. We

dance instead to his other-worldly, life-changing music, asking at each

transition point of our day or life, “Jesus, what is your assignment?

How do I do it your way?” And we accept the sacrifices necessary to

beautifully live the particular life God has given us, with its responsibilities.

and boredoms, to develop our unique gifts, and to fulfil our unique calling.

For me (descriptive, not prescriptive), shouldering my cross includes

eliminating sugar and starchy carbs (to lose excess weight!), not

watching TV (extreme!), endeavouring to keep my house and garden

organised and pretty enough, and using internet blockers to limit time

spent on social media or news sites. And, also, taming my anger and

outspokenness! And refusing to sing a song of worry, or linger in anger,

training myself to sing instead a song of trust, praise, and gratitude.

While following Jesus is meaningful, electric, and joyful, following

ourselves could entail ruining our health with addictive foods, caffeine,

overwork, or the siren-call of our phones. Following Jesus does not

mean relinquishing our goals and ambitions, but surrendering them

to Him. We do not own our work; God does. And so, we must repent

when we overwork, get too intense about success, or try to impress

others with it. For competitive cravings for success, fame, money,

or popularity wreck relationships, and mental, spiritual, and physical

health, and never satisfy, for the ladder of success has no end, and

climbing it means exhausting ourselves for nothing. We’re still restless.

You have made us for yourself, Oh Lord, and our hearts are restless

until they find their rest in you, St. Augustine wrote. If we do not try

to obey the Great Commandment: to love God, and Christ’s second

commandment:  to love our neighbour as ourselves, we could, one day,

open the treasure box of our lives and find only ashes. Nothing!

C.S. Lewis writes, “Give up yourself, and you will find your real self. Lose your life and you will save it. Submit to death, death of your ambitions and favorite wishes every day, submit with ever fiber of your being. Keep back nothing. Nothing that you have not given away will be really yours. Nothing in you that has not died will ever be raised from the dead. Look for yourself, and you will find in the long run only hatred, loneliness, despair, rage, ruin, and decay. But look for Christ and you will find Him, and with Him everything else thrown in.”  

Following Jesus means discipline, and staggering rewards.

The restlessness-quenching streams of the living water

of the Spirit flowing from us. And Christ himself, living bread,

to help us feel alive inside, not dead.  Besides, He occasionally

guides us to the one fish with a silver coin in its mouth,

or shoals of 153 fish when we’ve laboured fruitlessly for decades.

And, sometimes, he converts our water to wine, and multiplies

our efforts a thousand-fold, giving us, in his phrase,

all the things non-believers run after. Jesus, following you

is so worth it. Spirit, help us to do so. Amen.