Giving Up Shame — Broken & Hopeful
A lot of people are talking about Lent right now, especially in terms of giving things up to focus on their relationship with God. I’ve never participated in this process, but this year I was caught off guard by a question from God about it.
It started when I was waiting at a stoplight at an intersection in my town the other day. A woman was standing on the corner with a sign that said, “Struggling single mom needs help” and I honestly tried to ignore her. I noticed in my rear-view mirror that the woman behind me was getting out of her car. She clutched a few dollars in her hand, and as she approached the woman begging, I saw her lips clearly form the words, “Can I pray for you?” The homeless woman started crying as the other woman held her in a hug and prayed for her for a couple of minutes. Her whole expression changed from a drugged-out half-sleep to one of being seen and recognized. After handing her the money and hugging her one last time, the driver retreated back to her car again.
It was the simplest interaction, but I sat in my car with tears streaming down my face. I thought about how often I miss cool opportunities of caring for people because I’m worried about how it will look or what people will think. And God asked me then, what would happen if I gave up my fear, embarrassment and shame for Lent, and beyond? What if I left the idea of how I look to others at the feet of Jesus and instead just listened to Him?
One of my great friends and coworkers in this ministry talks often about how Jesus has asked her to come out and play with Him. It’s not a demand to be more productive or a measure of worth based on a façade I have generated. Instead, it’s a sweet freedom of simply enjoying a relationship.
I want to leave my shame, embarrassment, people-pleasing and assumptions on the ground behind me as I run out to play with God. I want to enjoy the relationship rather than focusing on what I think I can do to perform. So, I’ve asked God to remind me when I start trying to pick it up again, for it must be sacrificed in order to enjoy Him fully and experience all He has for us together. Let’s go play and leave the cares behind!
For the source of your pleasure is not in my performance or the sacrifices I might offer to you. The fountain of your pleasure is found in the sacrifice of my shattered heart before you. You will not despise my tenderness as I humbly bow down at your feet. Psalm 51:16-17
