God Called It Good: Rejoicing in God’s Design for Men and Women

    A couple of years ago my kids started playing a game every time we went through a drive thru, guessing whether the person at the window would be a “boy or girl.” One day, as I pulled into a drive thru lane for my favorite coffee I could hear them making their predictions. We approached the window, and I heard my then-four-year-old declare, “It’s a girl! . . . No, actually it’s a boy! . . . Wait—Mom, is it a boy or girl?”

    I turned toward the window and immediately understood my children’s confusion. The young man inside had brightly colored hair, wore purple lipstick, and had ears full of piercings. His appearance made clear that he was attempting to bend gender norms. As he turned to grab my drinks, I quickly gave my kids “that look” to stop the talking (you know the one). My oldest realized what was going on and began to loudly shush his confused siblings, and I turned back with a smile and “thank you!” to the barista who, I believe, was entirely oblivious to the hullabaloo he had sparked in the seats behind me. 

    As we drove away, it was silent for a few moments before one of the kids cautiously asked, “Mama—was that a man or a lady?”

    There it was. I had just been put into the position of having to explain “gender ideology” to my small children. In the few seconds I had to collect myself and figure out how to navigate the situation, my mind was a jumble of thoughts and desperate prayers for wisdom. I was sad—more than sad—that this was the reality of the world we live in. I was afraid of saying too much or of saying too little. I felt completely inadequate for the job. But in that moment, I had a choice to make about the way I would talk through this with them. I knew this was part of my responsibility as their parent, entrusted with guarding their hearts and minds during these incredibly formative years.

    And, sure enough, a split second after I prayed, scriptural wisdom and ideas for practical application began to flood my mind. I simply had to trust that the Lord would equip me, by His Spirit, to communicate it. 

    “That was a man,” I answered. “There are a lot of people in our world right now who believe they can choose whether they are a boy or a girl. They think that because they feel like the opposite of how God made them, they can dress that way and say that’s what they are.” 

    “But what do we know about how God made us?” 

    The older ones piped up, “Male and female in His own image!” 

    “Yes, that’s right,” I replied. “And God said this was very good. When we don’t turn to the Bible to understand who we are, we won’t know what’s true. Let me ask you a question: what color are my eyes?” 

    “Blue!” They declared. 

    “So what if I put pink contacts on, and it covers the blue? Does that change the fact that God made them blue?” A chorus of no’s answered back. “That’s right. Just because we say we are something doesn’t mean we are that thing. People are confused, and they need to know that God’s truth tells us the best way to live. We need to pray for His wisdom and be ready to share it with others. Let’s pray for the man at the coffee shop right now.” 

    God Said It Was Good

    You’re surely aware that we live in a culture filled with confusion over the most basic truths regarding what it means to be male and female. When talking to kids that we’re intended to protect, it’s easy to default to fear. This will often take one of two forms: trying to avoid the hard questions altogether or frantically pointing out all that’s bad and false and dangerous in the world. But grounding these conversations in fearful negativity isn’t the best approach. Why? Because, as the Lord reminded me that day in the car, that’s not where God began. 

    Genesis 1:27 says,

    So God created man 
    in his own image;
    he created him in the image of God;
    he created them male and female.

    And just a few verses later,

    God saw all that he had made, and it was very good indeed. Evening came and then morning: the sixth day. (v. 31)

    God’s declaration over His creation after the grand finale of forming man and woman was that it was “very good indeed.”

    This is the perfect, glorious groundwork that we first need to grasp in our own hearts and minds before passing it along to our kids. 

    Glory and Goodness

    2 Peter 1:3 says, “His divine power has given us everything required for life and godliness through the knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness.”

    Take a moment to ponder the two words at the end: glory and goodness. This is who God is— what we’ve been saved by and to. Our understanding of God’s design for sexuality is based on the knowledge that by His empowering grace, our obedience to His design is full of glory and goodness. Not only that, but He’s given us everything we need to walk in this pattern, even in a world of darkness and confusion. We have His grace to “detest evil,” and “cling to what is good” (Rom. 12:9). When we do, the light of Christ will “shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father in heaven” (Matt. 5:16). 

    In our culture, the common answer to the Bible’s view on sexuality is that it’s harmful, legalistic, and downright dull. And if all we tell our kids is what they’re not allowed to do, they may wrongly think it’s all just bad. But if we prayerfully study God’s Word, asking Him to give us a vision for His design, the things we’re not allowed to do make perfect sense. 

    It’s similar to understanding that when we’re on a roller coaster, there’s a reason we’re supposed to keep our arms and legs inside. These limitations put on us aren’t oppressive, but protective, and they actually free us to enjoy the ride the way it was designed. These boundaries are good. So are the boundaries God has set for sexuality and how we express it as male or female.

    Here’s another illustration that gets to the heart of this. I’ve heard it used in regard to exposing false teaching, and I believe it applies here, too. When people are being taught to spot counterfeit money, they’re only given real bills to study. Rather than being given many variations of fake bills, they spend time learning the details of the authentic thing. This equips them to detect even the slightest hint of a counterfeit when it comes through their hands.

    When we focus primarily on the what and why of God’s design for male and female and experience the joy and freedom that comes from living in accordance with His plan, we will recognize anything that veers from this design as “off.” It doesn’t mean the temptation to test these wrong ideas will go away. But it grounds our understanding in something far deeper and more lasting than, “It’s bad, so don’t do it.” Both we and our kids need a foundation far more substantial in order to withstand the onslaught of lies surrounding us. 

    The Devastation of Lies

    One reason the attack on what it means to be either male and female is so pervasive and destructive is that it hits at the very core of being made in the image of God. From the beginning of time, Satan—the enemy of our souls—has tried to twist what God has declared good to be “not good.” He is the father of lies (John 8:44), and is out to wreak havoc on people with those falsehoods in any way He can. 

    We all have to be on guard against lies: first, from being deceived ourselves and second, from being passive when others are in danger of being drawn into the lie. Again, if we go back to the garden of Eden we see this pattern. We’re told that Eve was deceived by the lies of the serpent, but that Adam wasn’t deceived (1 Tim. 2:14). However, Adam was held accountable because he knew better and went along with the lie anyway (Rom. 5:12). The devastating effects of this deception and capitulation mar creation to this day, causing all kinds of heartache. 

    Now, as redeemed children of God, saved from our sin and given new hearts through Jesus Christ, we have the ability to guard ourselves with the glorious truths of the gospel and to share them with others. And where do we find this truth? In His Word. 

    The Powerful Word of God

    Holding to and passing on this vision isn’t going to be easy. As I mentioned before, we’re in a spiritual battle—the world, the flesh, and the devil are feverishly working to muddle God’s beautiful plan in any way possible. This is why we need to be equipped to protect ourselves and those in our care with the weapon He’s provided: His Word.

    The Bible is compared to wielding a spiritual sword, empowered by the Holy Spirit (Eph. 6:17). Its ability to combat the evil and lies coming against us is beyond comprehension (Heb. 4:12). It is both defensive and offensive, able to hold back oppressive lies and pierce through them to expose the truth. 

    We can meditate on passages that help us lay this foundation for God’s design for human life and present them to our kids in an age appropriate way. We can prayerfully seek the Lord for wisdom, and ask Him to lead us to specific passages in His Word that will help us combat any confusion about what’s true. We can stand confidently even when there’s backlash, knowing that we don’t rely on our own power and knowledge but His. 

    When we’re tempted to despair at the sorrow and suffering brought on by forsaking God’s plan for male and female, let’s turn our eyes upward to Christ. Let’s remember what a joyful privilege it is to walk in His ways and be a beacon that declares with our lips and lives, “Our God is good, and all He commands is good.” Let’s embrace our God-given identity as women with enthusiasm and delight and champion men in theirs. And may we faithfully instill this incredible truth in future generations who will declare His greatness. 

    If this blog post by Heather has been a blessing to you, would you consider partnering with us to provide more resources like this to women desperately in need of finding freedom, fullness, and fruitfulness in Christ? Revive Partners are part of a team of faithful monthly contributors whose gifts make it possible for Revive Our Hearts to produce biblically rich content to help women be fruitful in every season of life. Learn more by visiting ReviveOurHearts.com/partner

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