Godly submission will always be relevant. Why? Because it is God’s design. God’s ways and God’s will transcend time. It doesn’t matter that it’s 2023. For people who follow Jesus Christ, it is important for everyone to submit to God.
Godly submission of wives to husbands is not simply something for the 1950s, the 1800s or a concept that is only discussed in the Bible and left there.
I am writing this post, because in response to misogyny and male chauvinism, some women are seemingly rejecting God’s design for husbands and wives.
This is no good. Especially, for women who profess to be Christians. Being a Christian means following Christ.
Christians must obey God, despite what the culture says.
Jesus Himself says that if we love Him, we obey His commandments (John 14:15). His commandments are not grievous (1 John 5: 3). His commandments are holy and for our good.
God commands wives to submit to (yield to, cooperate with) husbands. He has commanded husbands to love their wives selflessly, sacrificially, even as Jesus himself loved us and died a terrible, gruesome death on our behalf.
God’s design for the husband and wife relationship has nothing to do with husbands controlling wives. It has nothing to do with superiority and inferiority.
• Imagine being told to cooperate with someone else who has been commanded to love you selflessly, sacrificially and to cherish you?
• To be a righteous example, washing you with the Holy Word of God? Does this sound like control or abuse? No. Quite the opposite.
God never commands husbands to control wives. He commands the husbands to do wonderful things, including to selflessly love their wives. Command to husbands is always to love wives. God also commands wives to submit to husbands.
It seems obvious to me that God commands wives to submit to their husbands so that the wives can receive their husband’s love and other provision. Unity in Christ is another reason for these dynamics. Godly husbands and wives are to reflect Christ and the church, is a third reason for these dynamics.
This means godly wives honor God’s order and acknowledge the responsibility He has given their husbands by not fighting against their husbands. It means being cooperative, being receptive.
Because of abuse, the word submission tends to strike fear or disgust in some people.
Godly submission does not mean slavery. It takes great strength to submit to another. Submission does not mean inferiority. Men and women are equally important, equally valuable. The word submission has been misapplied and abused.
This is because many have callous, wicked hearts and seek to have power over others for sinful reasons. But their idea of power is perverted. The only true source of power is God. There is no power, but of God. God commands all to submit to Him. And He has established His order in the home, the church, etc.
▪︎ If husbands submit to God, they will not harm, try to control, or be selfish with their wives.
▪︎ If wives submit to God, they will obey the commands to submit to their husbands.
• If husbands submit to God, they will honor Christ as their Head. This means they will treat their wives very well, which makes it easy for their wives to submit to them.
▪︎ If both men and women submit to God, they will comply with Ephesians 5: 21 that says, “Submit one to another in the fear of God.”
▪︎ A wife’s submission does not mean that she is not involved in decision-making. A wife is an advisor and helper to her husband.
Instead of being omitted from the decision-making process, it means the greater responsibility for decisions made and responsibilty for the outcomes falls on husbands.
Godly husbands and wives ought to pray together and seek God’s direction. Wives have godly insight, wisdom, input. A wife’s submission means that whether she agrees or not with her husband, so long as she is not sinning, she will honor her husband’s leadership and trust that God is leading him.
To be Christ-like, we are to be others- oriented. Seeking the good of others; selfless, not selfish. God first, others before self. We are to submit one to another in the fear of God. There is a different level of responsibility in the husband and wife relationship. Therefore, it says for wives to submit in everything.
The directive to husbands is very clear. It is to love wives selflessly and honor their wives. Not control them. Not to try to make their wives submit to them. The directive to wives is very clear-to submit to and respect their husbands.
• God’s design is that we live decently and orderly. His order for the home, according to Ephesians 5: 22-33 is that the husband is the head of the wife.
• Wives submit to husbands, who have been given responsibility to love them, care for them, provide for them, protect them in the way Christ does the church. Not control them or be selfish.
This post is a reminder that as Christian women (or men) we should never deviate from God’s design. In order to avoid marrying unwisely, Christian women must seek and follow God’s direction. We must be satisfied in God first; not prioritize an earthly relationship with a man above our relationship with God.
The man who does not fear God and is not submitted to Christ is not fit to be married and submitted to. Why? I don’t say it to be hard on him. But he will be driven by his sinful flesh when he is not yielded to the Holy Spirit. He may be harsh and unfaithful, instead of loyal and loving.
The key is to remember God calls wives to submit to their husbands. So if a man is not fit to be submitted to, this means don’t marry him. Once we marry, we sre responsible for obeying God, despite what kind of men we choose chose to marry.
In conclusion, may God continue to give His people wisdom, direction and empowerment to obey His commandments. As always, God’s ways are good. Doing things God’s way is the only way that truly works.
Helpful scriptures:
“Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.” Colossians 3: 18.
“Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.” Colossians 3: 19
“Owe no man any thing, but to love one another: for he that loveth another hath fulfilled the law.” Romans 13: 8
