Grateful Memories During a Tough Year - Lisa E Betz

2023 was a rough year for me and my family. I spent much of this past year assisting my mother through one health crisis after another. And then dealing with the practical and emotional implications of each change. We would overcome one challenge only to have another crop up. But through all the rough times, I enjoyed the gift of memories that make me grateful.

Some of this year’s most difficult memories:

Coming to terms with the fact Mom couldn’t stay in her independent living apartment any longer. She loved her space, her view, and her neighbors. She didn’t want to leave them.
Grieving each new setback and hard truth. Mom tried so hard to regain her strength, but her body wasn’t up to the task.
Feeling caught between the staff’s assessment of Mom’s capabilities and her desire to remain independent.
Getting her new, smaller apartment all set up, only to turn around and move her out of it two months later.
Spending my anniversary sitting in the ER with my mom.
The day we learned Mom was facing something more serious than a touch of pneumonia and it was time to speak with hospice.
Facing the boxes of photos and other projects Mom had hoped to get to—and now never would.
Being so tired of seeing her helpless and so weary of the roller coaster of emotions that it was a relief when she passed.
Losing her forever (in this life).

But today’s post focuses on grateful memories.

Despite the exhaustion, sacrifice, angst, frustration, and sorrow, I have much to be thankful for this year. Throughout all the ups and downs, I strove to keep a positive attitude. As often as I could, I shifted my focus off the problem du jour and onto what else was happening in my life. I chose to see the good things. To savor moments of joy. To notice the ways God was arranging and providing help and encouragement for me when I needed it.

As I reflect over this past year, I am grateful for many, many things.

These are some of my most important grateful memories of 2023

God’s perfect timing. Looking back, I can see how one thing after another occurred at the best possible time (although in the thick of the moment it didn’t feel that way). One example: Mom went into hospice care just as the school year was ending. At first this looked like rotten timing. My sister’s family canceled their vacation plans to come visit Mom instead. But in retrospect, I saw how God arranged for my sister to be here during a time where her personality and people skills were critical for helping Mom through a difficult transition. I would have been floundering without her. Thus, she came at the exact time Mom and I needed her, which was also the exact window of time available in her schedule.
Time away. For most of the summer, I didn’t dare leave home. I’m very grateful for the two much-needed breaks God orchestrated. The first was a weekend with my son’s family. It had been scheduled months in advance, before I had an inkling of what the year would bring. The weekend fit perfectly into the two-week period between when I’d finished cleaning out Mom’s apartment and when she returned to the hospital. The second trip—also planned months in advance—occurred two weeks after she passed away. In both cases, a major responsibility had just ended, allowing me to set my worries aside and savor the moments. I am grateful for the memories and restoration of those two trips.
Kind words. In cards, texts, email, and even Facebook messages. So many people shared with me their grateful memories of how much Mom meant to them. Some of these messages came from people I know well, some from those I’ve never met. Their kind words are a precious gift.
Furniture. When I faced clearing out Mom’s apartments, I dreaded making several trips to schlep all her furniture to a resale shop. But as it turned out, we didn’t have to make a single trip. I was able to find people who were happy to come and take all her excess furniture. Her things went to good homes, and my husband and I were spared extra work.
Grandparenting therapy. I savored the visits of my son’s family because few things lifted my heart more than playing with my two-year-old grandson. My son dubbed it grandma therapy and he’s 100% correct. This grandma needed every minute of it!
Cat therapy. Several times a day, my cat, Scallywag, demands I stop what I’m doing and pick her up. As she snuggles in, her head against my chin, I can feel the tension ease. I need these moments each day to slow down and enjoy a moment of love.
Sister time. During my mom’s final months, both my sisters arranged to spend some time with her (in different months). They stayed at my house, which provided a rare opportunity to enjoy some one-on-one time with them. Usually when we’re together the whole family is there and we’re celebrating a major holiday. This summer we had chances to simply lounge on the sofa and talk. Priceless.
My husband. He was my rock through this whole time, calmly and quietly picking up the slack and encouraging me when I was down.
Baby! The biggest joy of the year was the birth of our grandson Mack. In the Lord’s perfect timing, Mack was born two weeks before Mom passed away. She was still lucid enough to enjoy the news and to ooh and ahh over photos of her much-anticipated great-grandson.

What grateful memories do you have of this past year?

I hope that as you reflect back over your year, you can identify many joys and blessings. I’m sure you also faced hard times, disappointments and setbacks. But that’s not the whole story.

As you prepare for the celebration of Christ’s birth, I hope you’ll spend some time making a list of reasons to be grateful. It will help you end the year on a positive, hopeful note.