Gratitude in Grief: A Pathway to Find Hope in Christ
Finding gratitude in grief can be challenging. Erin Greneaux shares how to embrace gratitude in grief as a pathway to experience the extravagant love of Christ.
The First Day of School
I watch as my youngest daughter skips through the doors on her first day of school, her backpack so large in comparison to her body that all I see are her feet sticking out at the bottom.
I drive away, and a quiet thought seizes my heart.
I need to cancel our zoo membership.
The days of morning trips to the playground and the library are over.
After lunch, snuggle time with books is done. Spontaneous craft projects on the kitchen table will have to wait until after school.
I have long anticipated this next season, even looked forward to it, so why does my chest feel tight?
The drive home is too long for my spiraling thoughts.
I walk in the door of the house, and everything is quiet. I am alone.
I sink into the chair at my desk and place my fingers on the keyboard, but a dull ache keeps them frozen.
It takes a moment for me to recognize this feeling I so often run from, stuff down, and push past with my to-do list.
Identifying Grief
The Lie of Being Present
I grab my journal and a pen instead and furiously scribble my anger at the lie culture tells us.
Society instructs us to savor every moment with our kids and to be present, because if we do, time will miraculously slow down.
They paint reality like Neverland, where the kids stay little forever if you hold them tight enough.
I mean, they will grow eventually, but we won’t feel the pain of grief if we do this motherhood thing right. Right?
That isn’t true. In fact, it’s just the opposite.
The more intentional and present we are, the harder it is to let go when the time comes.
The more we lean into each moment and savor it, the more deeply we feel the loss when it ends.
Paying attention doesn’t make time slow down, it only makes us more aware of its passing.
Types of Grief
When we live in the moment, we truly understand and appreciate what a fleeting and precious season we are releasing.
We don’t feel the loss of something unless we treasured it. The more full and beautiful a relationship is, the more striking the void when it fades away.
-For the mom sending a kid off to school, whether it’s kindergarten or college
-For the caretaker holding the wrinkled hand as their parent takes a final breath
-For the woman feeling the loss of a friendship
-For the worker ending a season of employment
-For the friend feeling the ache of losing a fur baby
-For whatever season of loss you are facing,
I have good news about this grief.
Gratitude in Grief
Grief is beautiful because it is proof that we experienced love. A life lived without grief is one that was never touched by love, and that is a tragedy.
Finding Gratitude in Grief:
- Grief is a form of gratitude because it prompts us to acknowledge the beauty we beheld.
- Grief encourages us to recognize how deeply a relationship or experience changed us, shaped us, and informed who we are as we move forward.
- Grief reminds us that love is not something we are entitled to or something to take for granted, but a rare gift.
- Grief gives us the courage to connect vulnerably and authentically the next time we see the opportunity, because we know that love is worth the pain.
The deeper the hole left behind in this grief, the more we have to be thankful for, because it represents the fullness of the love we experienced.
Love is the greatest gift we have in this life because these beautiful fragments are the faintest reflection of the love God has for us.
Jesus Demonstrated Gratitude in Grief
One of the most poignant pictures of grief in the Bible happens in the Garden of Gethsemane.
Jesus is so distraught at the thought of being separated from His Father that He sweats blood.
He asks His followers to stay with Him, but they fall asleep.
He is alone. Jesus knows what it is to feel the full weight of grief, because He alone has experienced the overwhelming love of the Father, only to be devastated by the loss of it.
Jesus’ grief was not only driven by love, but also for love.
He took on the grief of being separated from the Father in death so that we could be united with Him in His resurrection.
This act of love made a way for us to one day know unconditional love ourselves.
Because of His payment for our sin, what is untrue here on earth will one day become true.
There is a place where relationships never end, and time does not exist.
People don’t leave, nothing dies, and there is no place for grief because God is Love and nothing can separate us from Him.
1 John 4:8-9 explains it this way, “Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him” (NIV).
To be acquainted with grief is to understand love, and to understand love is to know God.
Grief is evidence that we have brushed against the sacred love of God.
His love is the place we were created to dwell, and we will feel its void until we meet with Him in eternity.
What a gift that no cheap imitation will satisfy us until then! That is gratitude in grief.
Gratitude in Grief: A Pathway to Christ
While the house was quiet on the first morning of school, I wasn’t alone. I was with my Father, the King of the Universe, who is Love itself, who shows us what love looked like when He sent His Son.
He is preparing a place for you and for me to bask in His perfect love forever.
We can be grateful for and rejoice in grief because it means that we experienced the tiniest taste of love here on earth.
Gratitude in Grief is anticipation for a day when we will experience the fullest, unconditional, never-ending love of God for eternity, and there will be no fear of letting it go because He will never let us go.
Until that day, we lean into the beautiful opportunities to love those around us, because knowing His love for even a moment spurs us to share it ruthlessly.
We make the most of every season because the love we learn in each one expands our capacity for the next.
We find gratitude in grief, and we thank God for it, because it means we caught a glimpse of Him.
Gratitude in Grief on YouTube
Listen in as Erin shares her story and how she found gratitude in grief. To view our conversation on YouTube, click here:https://youtu.be/2J1_1JqSIvw
Author
Erin Greneaux
Erin Greneaux is an award-winning author, host of the Sunday God Meets Monday Mom podcast, and mom to three girls who make every day an adventure. Her published works include fiction, non-fiction, poetry, and even a game! Follow her work at greneauxgardens.com
