How to Build Lasting Friendships
We call ourselves “Friends of the Heart.” Although I belong to a different generation than Kim and Janine, we’ve knit our hearts and our lives in lasting friendships.
It all began years ago when the two women, ages 34, asked me, age 58 at the time, to be their mentor. I had served on a church staff, and Kim had just accepted such a position. Janine was an active volunteer. We began meeting weekly to discuss inspirational books and to pray for one another’s requests.
Along the way, we developed a speaking ministry. That’s when we dubbed ourselves “Friends of the Heart.” Besides encouraging each other, we have encouraged thousands of women throughout the eastern United States.
“Perfume and incense brings joy to the heart, and the pleasantness of a friend springs from their heartfelt advice.” (Proverbs 27:9, NIV)
Whether you want to develop a friendship across the generations or with someone closer to your own age, here are my tips to build lasting friendships:
- Share honestly. I’ve survived deaths of loved ones, child rearing, and ministry challenges, so Kim and Janine look to me for guidance. And I learn from their enthusiastic involvement in ministry. We tell each other when our hearts hurt. Then we cheer each other up and get on with life.
- Give and take. When we first began meeting, my husband and I were empty nesters while Kim and Janine had young children and busy schedules. They often changed or canceled meeting times. Me? Let’s please stick to a schedule. But the benefit of friendship outweighed the inconvenience. I learned to be flexible.
- Help each other. Kim recently switched my seasonal decor. I simply set out my tubs and told her to do as she pleased. And I could not be more pleased with the result.
- Pray together. Each week we sit around my table and share prayer requests for ourselves, our families, and friends. Of course we honor confidentiality.
- Stay loyal, even when provoked. As we’ve ministered at women’s events, we’ve on occasion irked one another by failing to stick to the schedule or failing to assume the responsibilities expected. But we’ve discussed such issues, forgiven and forgotten, and journeyed on together.
Perhaps you feel lonely or know someone who is. Or you really want to learn something from someone more mature. Maybe you, as a mature Christian, have something to offer someone. Take the initiative to develop a friendship. Kim, Janine and I have celebrated more than 25 years of friendship and ministry.
If you feel too timid to initiate a friendship, simply concentrate on being a friend to an acquaintance and see what develops. Friendships are blessings that support us as we ride the waves of life together.
Questions for Reflection:
- Who in your past nurtured you in your faith?
- Who is a mature Christian you admire who might become your spiritual mentor if you asked them? If you are a mature Christian, what newer Christian might you befriend and nurture?
- What would you like to do or discuss in a mentoring relationship? Bible topics? Bible books? Inspirational books?
