How To’s for Helping Others Through Tough Times—19 Tips - Jeanne Takenaka
Contents
Have you ever thought that helping others through tough times is . . . well, tough?
Hailey
Amy
Terrence
Alissa
Helen
Harold
Esther
Mary
Mandi
And a few others who shall remain nameless
These names represent people I care about who have struggled through very painful times, or have passed away in the past few years. This is a partial list, and I can only imagine how long some of your lists are.
No, I’m not hosting a contest to see whose list is the longest. These names are a reminder that, in each situation, I’ve had the opportunity—the gift—to walk beside them as they faced painful times of their lives.
As I’ve considered how we keep our faith in painful seasons, I’ve also grappled with how we walk alongside those enduring painful, uncertain seasons. Because I feel inept at approaching this topic in depth, I asked friends who have walked the hard roads what were the biggest helps in their hard seasons.
How To’s for Helping Others Through Tough Times—20 Tips—As I’ve considered how to keep our faith in painful seasons, I’ve also grappled with how do we walk alongside those enduring painful, uncertain seasons. #toughtimes… Click To Tweet
Tips for helping others through tough times
What follows are some actions that meant the most to people in the middle of trials and in the aftermath of loss.
Practical Helps
The gift of food
Whether it’s a home-cooked meal or a gift card to a restaurant, this can be an enormous help. When a person walks through a difficult trial, finding the energy to make meals is difficult. Relieving this burden can be meaningful.
Clean the house…
if they’ll let you. A clean house is not a top priority. When we can serve in this way, we offer them the gift of a peaceful place.
Run errands
If you’re going to the grocery store or somewhere else, offer to pick things up for them. When you drop it off, don’t expect to see them. Leave it on their porch and let them know. If they are in a place of being ready to see people, they’ll let you know.
Offer Childcare
Whether it’s taking care of their children, running them to school or sports practices, or doing other things to lighten their parenting burden, this blesses the person who’s struggling.
Send flowers or a small gift . . .
let them know they are thought of.
Presence Helps
Give Space
When a loved one is struggling, a way of helping them through a tough time is to give space for them to feel the pain. To cry. To ask the hard, painful questions. We don’t have to answer those hard questions. Sometimes, it’s more a matter of listening.
Listen
When someone opens up to us about their struggle, let’s listen, not judge what they say. Be a support as they pour out what’s on their heart. Be a safe place. Be vulnerable. If they are struggling with something in their faith—the What-If’s perhaps—share a time when we’ve struggled too. When we don’t understand God’s ways in our lives, knowing we are not alone is a balm to our souls.
Be Present
People I spoke with said having someone be present with them through the tears, the heartache, even the anger, ministered in powerful ways. Sometimes our presence offers the support when they aren’t yet ready to talk.
How To’s for Helping Others Through Tough Times—20 Tips Sometimes our presence offers the support when they aren’t yet ready to talk #toughtimes #tellhisstory #helpingothers Click To Tweet
Don’t be afraid of silence . . .
and don’t try to fill it with words. Sometimes people need someone to simply listen and acknowledge their suffering.
Be willing to sit with them in their pain
Notice if they are teary or emotionally struggling. Offer a hug, listen. Be silent beside them.
Share Encouragement
Take time to touch base regularly. Write a snail mail note, an email, a text, or to call. Remind them they aren’t forgotten. When appropriate, share a Scripture that once helped us.
Pray
Ask God to show us how to pray for them. Ask them what their prayer needs are. And then pray. If they are willing, pray with them. Here are a few verses to help you pray with direction.
My gift to you: feel free to download photos from this folder, if they will help you encourage loved ones. Feel free to send them as memes. But please only use them for this purpose.
Remind them God is with them
When walking through a painful trial, it’s easy for our perspective to become skewed. Sometimes a gentle reminder that God sees and loves us in our hard situations is what’s needed to encourage faith.
Be yourself
When a person is struggling with cancer or another serious health issue, the death of a loved one, or another all-consuming sort of trial, they need their friends to just be themselves . . . whatever that looks like for each individual.
NOT Helps:
In helping others through tough times,
DON’T:
. . . Allow the fear of saying or doing the wrong thing prevent us from reaching out at all. It’s better to try to reach out and mess up than to stay silent b/c we didn’t want to make a mistake.
. . . Allow silence make you feel like you must fill it.
. . . Act or talk as though you completely understand what they are going through. Each person’s struggle, grief, is unique to them.
. . . Share Bible verses (though they may be accurate for the situation) or platitudes in the moment of pain. There may be a time for sharing later. Be situationally aware.
. . . Offer advice in their moment of pain. At some point, we can ask if they’d like to hear our thoughts, but we shouldn’t ever force our thoughts on someone in the middle of a painful struggle.
. . . Try to “fix them.” God is the only Person who can do the mending, fixing, and healing in another’s heart and life. Often, our role is to walk with them through the process.
I am certain I’ve barely skimmed the surface of how we can encourage others in their faith when they’re facing painful situations. Let’s seek God as we reach out to those in our lives who are hurting.
What about you? What have others done that helped you in a tough season? What would you add to my lists?
Remember we’re linking up at Lisa’s place next week!
Come share your story at the Tell His Story linkup. Connect and be encouraged by like-minded friends! #tellhisstory #linkup Click To Tweet
Most weeks, I link up with Grace and Truth, Anita Ojeda, Instaencouragements, and sometimes Let’s Have Coffee. Come join and read more encouraging posts!
Each week we gather here as storytellers, word weavers, and encouragers to make His name known. Our story is God’s story and this small corner of the blogging world, where we come together each Tuesday, needs you. This is a place where poetry, snapshots, prayers, and stories find a safe spot to nod in agreement that what we have to say matters. I am glad you are here and would love to have you join the #TellHisStory community. Add your own encouraging post through the link below. Spread some love by visiting your neighbor and leaving your own encouragement. Click here to read more about the #TellHisStory community and find a button to add to your site.
Each week we gather here as storytellers, word weavers, and encouragers to make His name known. Our story is God’s story and this small corner of the blogging world, where we come together each Tuesday, needs you. This is a place where poetry, snapshots, prayers, and stories find a safe spot to nod in agreement that what we have to say matters. I am glad you are here and would love to have you join the #TellHisStory community. Add your own encouraging post through the link below. Spread some love by visiting your neighbor and leaving your own encouragement. Click here to read more about the #TellHisStory community and find a button to add to your site.
