"I thought we were all called to a ministry of reconciliation? With cheaters included." - Divorce Minister
All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation….
– 2 Corinthians 5:18, NIV
Do we not all have the ministry of reconciliation as followers of Christ? Does that include reconciling with Cheaters?
The obvious answer to the first question is “Yes, we are called to the ministry of reconciliation.” Walking out this ministry is a matter of wisdom, though.
Cheaters have raped the soul of their spouses (see post here).
We need to keep that in mind when trying to apply the ministry of reconciliation to these situations. It is not as simple as saying people need to forgive and stay together as Christian couples.
The emotional, financial, and physical safety of the wronged party needs to be taken into consideration.
Also, I totally believe we can reconcile without remarrying our cheater. In fact, the divorce might be what is needed to pave the way to such ending of hostilities. I view divorce as a natural consequence of a spouse decimating trust in the marriage by cheating (see Mt 1:19).
What I mean by that statement is that we have to respond to God’s gift of reconciliation. Not everyone is “saved.” We have to “repent” and turn to Him accepting the gift. Many cheaters will never repent. They see no need for the gift of forgiveness as they believe they are the real victims here.
So, the ministry of reconciliation with cheaters is complicated.
It is wonderful if a cheater truly repents. However, that does not mean they automatically get our trust. That would be unwise and unsafe.
Their past behavior has demonstrated that they are an abuser, and it remains to be seen if they have put that “old man” to death. The wise person requires evidence before believing they have changed.
In sum, I believe we as Christians DO have a ministry of reconciliation, and yes, that includes with our cheater.
However, there are nuances to that ministry with our cheater. It does not mean we stay married to them. And it does not mean they are entitled to our trust or vulnerability, again. Those things are earned back, if they ever are.
Reconciliation takes both parties. If God did not reconcile the whole world (meaning everyone is saved), then who are we to think we can do this with an unwilling party?!
