If a pastor asks you... - Divorce Minister
If a pastor asks a faithful spouse about your part in the divorce from a known cheater, that is a sign his advice for you is not going to be godly or good for you.
This sort of blame-assigning question is like stomping on someone’s foot and then asking your victim what was his part in the stomping.
I suppose that your victim could talk about how he was standing in a place where you could stomp on his foot. However, the act of stomping is still 100% your fault.
The Bible does not do an inquest about the circumstances regarding the marriage prior to a divorce except to ascertain the adultery. If there is sexual infidelity, the faithful party is allowed to divorce (see Mt 19:9). It is that simple.
If I had no portion in the adultery, then I am free of guilt as it comes to a divorce under those circumstances.
A good and wise pastor understands this.
They understand a godly potential consequence of sexual infidelity committed by a spouse is divorce.
A wise pastor understands asking a faithful spouse about the cause of their divorce or asking them to talk about “their part” is akin to asking them what they did to make their cheater abuse them by cheating.
