Known — Colorfull Bloom

“Our obsession with being seen can become the enemy of being known.”

I’ve been thinking about this for 3 days. Saw it on Instagram. It spoke directly to an area I’ve been wresting with for a long time. So when I read it, it pierced me deep.

Loneliness isn’t a lack of friends or family. It’s not a lack of social interaction. In fact, I think it’s quite the opposite. I think despite having all of these things in our lives, we can still be left feeling unseen and unknown.

I didn’t realize how much of an idol I had made out of “man’s” opinion of me. What people think of me and how much stock I put in the acceptance of other people robs me of so many things. Most importantly, my acceptance in God. I miss out of the fruit that satisfies any craving I have, and essentially curbs any craving I may have outside of what God intends for me.

When all is said and done, who’s opinion matters most to me? Who’s opinion matters to you? It’s fair to say if they don’t hold the world in their hands, what they think or say shouldn’t mean the world to me. I’m guilty of putting the weight of my world on other peoples shoulders. Even though I have put on a few (the results of helping Tim perfect his pizza recipe—worth it), that’s too heavy of a job to give to anyone.

If my obsession to be seen deters me from being entirely myself, no one will see or know the real me, but an artificial version. What an offense to God and His creation. And around and around I go in my loneliness cycle. Before I know it, I can’t keep track of who I am or who I pretend to be. Maybe I’ve disappeared completely because I change depending on who I’m with— in hopes that someone notices me.

So what’s been on my mind the last 3 days is the only One who truly knows me is God. It’s a transition, to say the least, to transfer my desire to be known, over to allow the full acceptance and intimate knowledge that God has for me to resonate within every fiber of my being. This is very intentional time. 

Psalm 139:1-2 in the Passion translation says, “Lord you know everything there is to know about me. You perceive every moment of my heart and soul and you understand my every thought before it even enters my mind.” I love that.

If I can learn to rest and also live in the assurance that God knows me, and has known me since the foundations of the world (Romans 8:29), I can begin to let go of my grasp that holds on so tightly to something that will never satisfy.