Loose Lips Sink Relation-ships
I was having lunch with a group of friends when one gal made a derogatory comment about another from the group who was late. I gave her that “motherly look” that letting her know the comment wasn’t appropriate.
“Well, it’s true,” she said.
“Just because something is true doesn’t mean that you should say it,” I answered.
Believe me, I learned that lesson the hard way. I’ve spoken up when I should have hushed up and dug up words that should have stayed buried.
I love reading WWII books and watching WWII movies and documentaries. During the war, the War Advertising Council created posters that read “Loose Lips Sink Ships.” The posters were to remind service men and citizens to avoid careless talk concerning secure information and ship movements. The fear was that covert enemy agents might hear the comments, intercept the war effort, and destroy the ships.
The truth is, not only do loose lips sink ships, but loose lips also sink relation-ships.
In Numbers 12, we read about how Miriam’s loose lips almost destroyed her relationship with her brother, Moses. She gossiped about his wife, questioned his leadership ability, and stirred up trouble among the Israelites he was leading. God tied her tongue with a weeklong case of leprosy, but I’m sure their relationship was never the same.
Solomon wrote: “When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise” (Proverbs 10:19).
“Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent and discerning if he holds his tongue” (Proverbs 17:28).
Whether the subject is gossip or grumbling, tearing down or tearing apart, silence is the golden key that keeps the door to destructive words locked away. And sometimes the most powerful words are the ones we choose not to speak. A moment of restraint can save a boatload of hurt.
The book of Proverbs is filled with wise words about the use of our words:
[She] who guards her lips guards [her] life, but [she] who speaks rashly will come to ruin (Proverbs 13:3). Ouch.
Do you see a [woman] who speaks in haste? There is more hope for a fool than for [her] (Proverbs 29:20). Ouch.
[She] who answers before listening—that is [her] folly and [her] shame (Proverbs 18:13). Ouch.
“She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue (Proverbs 31:26). Ahhh.
The original Hebrew word translated wisdom in Proverbs 31:26, chokmah, also means skill, shrewdness and prudence. A skill isn’t something that comes naturally, but something that is developed with practice over a period of time. When we practice knowing when to speak and when to remain silent, we become wise.
To be wise, we need to THINK before we speak. We can ask ourselves, is what I’m saying:
T – True
H – Helpful
I – Inspiring
N – Necessary
K – Kind
And here’s my rule of thumb: When in doubt, leave it out. Today, let’s give a ten second pause before we give an opinion, an instruction, or a response.
Heavenly Father, I know the death and life of a relationship is often in the tongue. Help me to control of my tongue, to think before I speak. Help me to speak words that are true, helpful, inspiring, necessary, and kind. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
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I want to share a video with you that was taken last week. I was able to honor a woman who used her words to speak life and lead me to Christ when I was 14 years old. Doril Henderson is now 94. Click here to view (and grab a tissue).
Looking for your next Bible study? Check out Sharon’s book and Study Guide, The Power of A Woman’s Words: How the Words You Say Shape the Lives of Others. Words are one of the most powerful forces in the universe, and God has entrusted them to you! They echo in hearts and minds long after they are spoken. How will we use this gift? Your words can change the course of someone’s day…even someone’s life. Learn how to
- exchange careless words that hurt for intentional words that help others succeed
- recognize words that tear down confidence and replace them with words that build others up
- overcome the negativity that pushes people away and become a well of positivity that draws others in
- tame your tongue by practicing practical principles that help you think before you speak
- stop being disappointed in your lack of control by taking hold into the power of the Holy Spirit
You can do it! I know you can!
