Meeting People Where They Are
You knew it was going to happen, didn’t you? Yep, we’re back in Jude. I just can’t seem to shake this power-packed, single-chapter, New Testament book/letter.
Responding to Doubt
And have mercy on those who doubt; save others by snatching them out of the fire; to others show mercy with fear, hating even the garment stained by the flesh.
– Jude 1:22-23, ESV
Just prior to saying this, Jude was exhorting the readers, calling them, “beloved.” He told them to build themselves up in their most holy faith, to pray, to stay in the faith, and to wait on God’s mercy.1
As we strive after those same aspirations, we are similarly obligated to have mercy on those who doubt. Not everyone is in the same place. Some are pillars of strength and faith. Others struggle to maintain the faintly glowing ember of hope within. Be merciful toward them, remembering the father of the demon possessed child who, with tears, cried out to Jesus, “Lord, I believe; help my unbelief!”2
We are called to save others with fear, pulling them from the fire. I read once that the lost are the truly needy, but they are also the most dangerous to deal with, likely because of the warning Peter offered.
You therefore, beloved, knowing this beforehand, take care that you are not carried away with the error of lawless people and lose your own stability.
– 2 Peter 3:17, ESV
This echoes the warning from Paul in Galatians where he says when correcting those ensnared by transgressions, we should keep watch on ourselves, lest we also be tempted.3
Responding Appropriately
This is the point I really want to emphasize. We need to understand where each person is, emotionally and spiritually. We need to know this so we can respond to them in a way that is appropriate and helpful. I have seen men and women destroyed because someone, even with the best of intentions, responded to them in a way that did not fit the need. I have done this myself.
And we urge you, brothers, admonish the idle, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with them all.
– 1 Thessalonians 5:14, ESV
Having read the verse above, consider this: We are to admonish the idle, the lazy, or some translations say, “the unruly,” or “undisciplined.” They need to be admonished, reprimanded, corrected. That is appropriate to their situation and their attitude. But what would happen if we encouraged the idle or unruly, rather than admonished them?
Even more frightening: We are to encourage the fainthearted. What happens to the fainthearted brother or sister if we admonish and scold them rather than encourage them? Will they not become even more fainthearted, more fearful? Will we not drive them into a cocoon of despair and possibly fear?
And we help the weak. We refuse to let them fall. This is addressing spiritual weakness, not physical, though we assist the physically weak as well. This is the person the apostle Paul speaks of in his letter to Rome, when he said we are to help him, or welcome him, and not for the purpose of quarreling over opinions.4
Know Where People Are
In the 1980s I studied for full-time ministry. As part of this training, I went through a couple of courses in foreign missions. One day, my classmates and I arrived at school to find that we had been locked out of the classroom. The instructor informed us that we were going to play a game.
About ten of our classmates were allowed inside the room. The rest of us had to stay in the hallway for a time. Just prior to being allowed inside, we were given some currency and instructed to transact as much business as we could with the vendors in the room. Those who had been allowed into the room early were sitting at vendors booths ready to sell us their wares.
I was eager to be successful, so I jumped right in and began transacting business. Those at the booths seemed as eager to sell me their wares as I was to buy them, at least, for a while. Before long I found that I was unable to do business with some of the vendors. They seemed almost offended by my very presence. But most of them were still happy to work with me, so I continued doing business.
As you may have guessed, the longer I transacted business, the fewer vendors there were who would do business with me. At the end of the exercise, the instructor explained to us what was happening.
Those of us who came into the room from the outside had arrogantly barged into a society we knew nothing about. We had a task to accomplish, and we knew that our the accomplishment of our task was what the vendors needed. We dove into doing what we believed to be the right thing – transacting business with these vendors.
What every one of us failed to recognize was that the vendors were clad in blue, yellow, and green outfits. The clothing was representative of their cast or clan.
The green cast was at the bottom of the food chain. They were happy to deal with anyone. The yellow cast was a little higher up the ladder. They would deal with blues, but not greens. The blues were at the top of society and would deal only with blues.
As soon as I transacted business with yellows, the blues took offense at me. And as soon as I transacted business with greens, both the yellows and blues took offense at me.
Following the exercise, our instructor said that in twenty years of playing that game with students, only one time did a student enter the marketplace and hang back by the door just to see what happened. He studied the audience. He learned the rules. Because of that, he was able to transact business with every vendor in the room.
The point is, we cannot overestimate the importance of knowing our audience. We need to stand by the door and understand where the person is that we are about to address. We need to get inside their minds, to see with their eyes, to hear with their ears. Only then can we truly have mercy on those who doubt, save others by snatching them out of the fire, show mercy with fear, warn the idle, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, and be patient with all.
1. Jude 1:20-21
2. Mark 9:24
3. Galatians 6;1
4. Romans 14:1
