Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you- Ephesians 4:31-32 NIV

Bitterness is bad. 

Really bad. 

In every reference to the emotion of bitterness, the Bible either clearly identifies bitterness as a sin or as the direct consequence of sinful human choices (Ecclesiastes 7:26, Proverbs 5:3-5, Proverbs 17:25, Jeremiah 4:18). Christians are straight-up commanded not to be bitter (Ephesians 4:31, Hebrews 12:15). The writer of Hebrews warns that bitterness is especially problematic for Christians because it triggers a unique kind of “trouble” for believers (Hebrews 12:15). It’s not overstating facts to say bitterness is an exceptionally toxic spiritual poison.  When we allow bitterness to take root it produces a playground for the enemy of our souls (Ephesians 4:26-27, 1st Peter 5:8). It also defiles (ruins, taints, corrupts) both the bitter person and the people they love. 

Yikes. 

Bitterness produces a special kind of trouble, one that has the power to trip of even the best and brightest of God’s people. That trouble includes:

Hindering our ability to worship God-

One of the biggest spiritual issues with bitterness is that it profoundly impairs our ability to worship God. At the heart of all genuine worship is a spirit of gratitude and thanksgiving (1st Chronicles 16:34, Psalm 107:7, Colossians 3:16). It is literally impossible to be grateful to God and bitter at the same time. It simply cannot be done; salt water and fresh water cannot come from the same source (James 3:10-12). A person can worship God or they can hang out in the bitter barn. No one can do both. Additionally, I have observed it is very common for bitter people to simply quit church altogether. This is because a bitter person struggles to worship God freely and worship is the primary reason Christians gather. If you are a Christian and worship holds no appeal to you, or worse yet annoys you, bitterness is likely an issue. 

Becoming bitter short-circuits the only good thing that can come out of a trial- 

It’s simply a fact that if we experience enough trials in rapid succession without processing them properly, trials will make us bitter (Ruth 1:1-21). However, it is also true that trials serve a valuable spiritual purpose (1st Peter 1:5-7, James 1:2-4). Trials refine us and help us to understand what’s important in life. Trials also give us a deeper and more profound longing for heaven, unless we allow ourselves to become bitter. If we become bitter due to trials all we get out of them is cynicism, broken relationships and lost spiritual opportunities. If a trial (or series of trials) has left you angry, reclusive or depressed bitterness may be to blame. 

Bitterness hinders our spiritual purpose- 

God could rapture His people off the planet as soon as they come to faith in Jesus. He’s fully capable and it would make things easier for us, but He doesn’t. Instead, God leaves us in our families, friend groups and communities for the specific purpose of being His faithful witnesses to a lost and dying world (Matthew 28:19-20, Acts 1:8). One of the chief objectives of salvation is to become as much like Jesus as we possibly can so that the unbelievers and skeptics around us see Jesus in us and want to know Him better (2nd Corinthians 3:18). Bitterness makes effective evangelism nearly impossible, partly because bitter people reflect God poorly.   

Bitter people make people bitter- 

I am convinced that with a few notable exceptions, bitter people don’t intend to make other people bitter, but they do. Bitter people spread bitterness like a bad cold because bitterness makes people entirely self-centered.  The constant self-focus leads the bitter person to do outlandishly thoughtless and just plain mean things to the people they care about most.  Sadly, the bitter person is so self-focused they are either blinded to what they are doing to others, or they feel justified in their behavior. When someone is routinely hurt or mistreated by someone being eaten alive by bitterness, they quickly become bitter themselves, this is how bitterness “defiles many”. 

Bitterness is never inevitable; it can always be avoided or dealt with. The best way to avoid bitterness (or deal with it effectively) is to routinely examine our lives (2nd Corinthians 13:5).   Ask yourself the following questions:

Do I become excessively angry at the sins or folly of others?

Do I lack grace? 

Do people annoy me for no reason? 

Do I have a pattern of cutting people out of my life? 

Do I routinely make bad decisions because I refuse to take advice from others?

All of the above are signs of a bitter spirit. 

Anger, resentment and irritation are the precursors to bitterness. Anytime we begin to feel those feelings on a regular basis, it’s a sign bitterness is beginning to take root in our hearts. The antidote to bitterness is honest prayer and a willingness to forgive those who hurt us (Matthew 18:21-35, Mark 11:25, Luke 6:37, Colossians 3:13). We must make a habit of sorting out our hurt, pain and disappointment with life and people before the Lord. Honest prayer is rarely a one and done when it comes to correcting a bitter spirit. We must be willing to take our feelings before God until our hearts soften, and we are walking in alignment with the God who forgives completely and loves without limits ( John 3:16, Acts 10:43, 1st John 3:1, Psalm 103:12)