Presence Over Perfection (by Cathe Laurie)
“Show hospitality to one another without grumbling” (1 Peter 4:9 ESV).
I can still remember our first couch. It was a blue satin brocade—a Queen Anne wannabe—abandoned by the previous renters of the first home we rented. The place was a shabby (but trust me . . . not chic) old farmhouse in downtown Riverside.
The couch had foam poking out like a bad perm from a tear in the worn seat cushion. It was anything but perfect, yet it hosted friends like nobody’s business.
In our fixer-upper world, sometimes we find ourselves chasing spotless baseboards while the kids undo our hard work faster than you can say, “Martha Stewart Living.” We want to present our Pinterest-perfect home, with not a speck of dust in sight nor one single coaster out of place.
But I’m here to remind you of a crucial truth: Hospitality is not your house; it’s you.
How to Share the Heart of Jesus
The heart of hospitality is not about perfectly scrubbed floors and neatly designed coffee table décor. It’s not about how many throw pillows you have on your couch or what sort of vases you put your flower arrangements in. It’s about the heart of Jesus—the heart of welcome, love, peace, and community.
So, how do we pull this off, no mansion required? Here’s the playbook, straight from the messy trenches of real life:
- See people. Ditch the iPhone, lock eyes, and listen. Your kids, spouse, and even the grocery bagger deserve it. Multitasking is for suckers—nobody’s soul unfolds while you’re doomscrolling X.
- Remember names. I’m preaching to myself right here—I blank on “Susan” like it’s my day job. But remembering a name is a hug in word form. Lord, help me not flub this again!
- Track milestones. Log birthdays, a child’s death anniversary, scary doctor visits, and when those test results are due. Put them in your phone—we all have calendars there! It surprises me every time an old friend who lives in another town prays for me on my birthday. Her text lands like a love letter across states. It only takes a few seconds to reach out, but the impact rings through forever.
- Share the goods. Bake a cake, wrap a slice in parchment, tie it with a string, and drop it at a neighbor’s place. Just the other week, a friend’s warm berry pie was a hug on a brutal day. Whipped homemade butter or baked sourdough bread? It’s pure gold.
- Say yes to invites. When a new friend braves inviting you over, It’s gutsy to build community in a world of “busy.” Your “yes” might spark a lifelong bond or, at the very least, a killer brunch. 1 Peter 4:9 says, “Show hospitality to one another without grumbling” (ESV). And sometimes that means responding “yes” to someone else’s hospitality!
So break the mold. Practice hospitality beyond hosting the perfect brunch. Let love and peace shine through every small act as we intentionally be present rather than perfect.
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Cathe Laurie is the founder and director of the Virtue women’s ministry. She is also a featured speaker on The Virtue Podcast, at Harvest events, and the author of As I See It. You can find her weekly articles here on harvest.org.
