Remembering My Friend — Grateful, yet Grieving
Brenda and I became friends in 1981, the summer after we both got married at College Avenue Church in San Diego. We shared a friendship that lasted over 44 years.
The past 7 years brought us closer. Brenda and I would have scheduled weekly phone calls where we would talk, listen, share, cry, laugh, and pray together.
Before her diagnosis, Brenda would listen to me as I entered an abyss of grief as a widow after Fred suddenly died in 2018.
After her diagnosis, I would listen and watch her navigate life at City of Hope, with her long-extended stays and weekly and biweekly appointments. We both experienced a life we didn’t expect, but found hope in our faith and knowing God’s unfailing faithfulness and presence.
When she was at one of the extended stays at City of Hope, Brenda told me about going to the laundry room to wash some clothes. Another patient was doing her laundry. And you know, Brenda was going to ask her her story and how she was doing. In those ordinary moments, Brenda chatted with her and prayed with the woman. Brenda’s hope was real, and she wanted others to have it.
When you were with Brenda, there was always laughter. Brenda’s laugh would light up the room. Her joy reflected her faith and hope. Her faith was an anchor, and her hope was steadfast.
Brenda had a living hope and an anchor for her soul. It says in Hebrews 6:17, “we have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure.”
Brenda’s hope was a result of her journey, enduring the season of infusions, surgeries, chemo, and medications. Her endurance was inspired by hope in her Lord and Savior, as it says in 1 Thessalonians 1:3.
In closing, I want to read you what I wrote to Brenda in my last note to her. It was August of last year; the last time I saw her when she and Tom were at Newport Dunes. I had sent it to Newport Dunes, but Brenda and Tom had already returned home, so it came back to me. Not by accident, I know—Here are the last few sentences:
“I consider our long-lasting friendship a true gift from God. As we age and face things we never imagined in our 20’s, God’s faithfulness, presence, and peace have been displayed in the darkness and pain. And the sweetness of God’s presence has sustained us.”
Brenda was a gift to me…She was a gift to all of us. As with most gifts, they are temporary. However, we have hope that sustains us, and we will see Brenda again in heaven.
A woman of faith who loved her family, friends, and her Lord and Savior.
I’ll leave you with a text from Brenda from June 27, last year, describing her latest chemo treatments. She ended the text with “Keep praying, keep trusting, and keep hoping.”
Romans 15:13 reminds us of this kind of hope Brenda possessed.
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.
