Say Their Name — Grateful, yet Grieving
Last week, my son received a phone call. The caller asked if my husband was there, using his entire name. My son replied, “No,” and ended the call. He went on to say, “I didn’t want to explain.” It wasn’t necessary. A stranger said my husband’s name. There was no connection.
But for me, when someone says my husband’s name, it’s music to my ears, causing my mind and heart to connect with a myriad of memories that make me smile.
When I meet someone for the first time, I say their name. However, I might not remember and say, “I’m sorry I forgot your name.” Nametags are extremely helpful for me. Saying a person’s name aloud is validating, declaring value as a person, and affirming their identity.
When we have experienced the loss of a loved one, we are left with finding ways to keep their name alive. Finding attachment to photos, personal items, and hobbies keeps their memory with us. But saying their name aloud is a deeply satisfying act of love we can experience.
A year ago, I became involved with a national ministry called Never Alone Widows. I took the online training and became a leader, which led to the launch of a local chapter. Last month at our Never Alone event, the spokesperson gave introductions and made a special mention of those who had lost their husbands during the current month.
She recognized each spouse and spoke their name out loud. I was moved to tears to hear my husband’s name, slowly, with reverence. Fred.
Our brains are wired to light up with certain sounds, words, or images. Hearing our loved one’s name spoken aloud is a profound and powerful experience. When we say their name, we are continuing to create an enduring connection. We might tear up, but it’s okay. Their name is a beautiful sound.
