SUBMIT—Bet You Won't Read This Article

None of us wants to submit—so we don’t.

We say we do by advertising our small groups as a place where we hold each other accountable. But in most churches, if submitting occurs at all, it is rare, not regular; tardy, not timely; partial, not thorough, selective, not widespread; oriented toward discipline, not development; triggered by discovered sin, not personally disclosed sin; compelled by pressure, not by principle; occurring during counseling, not during small group.

Scripture clearly tells us we are to submit to one another. The Greek word for “submit,” hupotasso, is a military term which means to comply, to yield, to allow inspection.

As the Bible uses this word, it means we are to voluntarily allow other believers have authority in our lives so we can be within range of their giftedness and grace.

Why? Because the flesh is too subtle to be left on its own! Victory, if it is to come, requires a team effort. It requires submission.

In his book, Dropping Your Guard, Chuck Swindoll helps us better pinpoint what this submitting among believers involves.

When I use the term accountability, I have several things in mind ... Being accountable includes:

• Being willing to explain one’s actions

• Being open, unguarded, and non-defensive about one’s motives

• Answering for one’s life

• Supplying the reason why

Such disclosures are necessary for biblical fellowship, but honesty is the keyword here. Since others can’t bear what we don’t share, we’ve got to be honest enough to let them know what’s really going on, and to do so in a consistently timely way.

There must be early detection so there can be early correction.

Delaying disclosures risks harm. Alexander Maclaren pointed out, “One little mark under the armpit of a plague-sufferer tells the physician that the fatal disease is there. A tiny leaf above ground may tell that, deep below, lurks the root of a poison plant.”

So, the sooner treatment begins, the better! Early detection and early correction are core motivations for biblical submission in the body of Christ.

We know from Scripture that whenever God sought a closer fellowship with his people, he did so through the implementation of a covenant. These covenants, by stipulating terms and benefits, set forth methods and goals that promote a sweeter, deeper fellowship.

Interestingly, when the old covenants failed, as each of them did, God never scrapped the covenant idea. Instead, every subsequent attempt to renew relationship with his people was also done on the basis of a covenant.

Based on this repeated example, it would be wise for each group to write their own covenant. This covenant should identify processes and goals that will promote a biblical “one anothering.”

Such a covenant might include statements about arriving on time, faithful attendance, confidentiality, the need to be honest, the willingness to intercede for each other, the willingness to offer support during the week, the willingness to ask probing questions, the willingness to check on each other’s progress, and other such concerns.

Covenants that are overly broad and minimally specific do not help. Covenants that aren’t operational also fail to help. To treat the covenant as only paper, a mere exercise quickly forgotten, hurts fellowship.

In order for a covenant to work, we must allow believers in our group to have some authority in our life. In a word, we must submit.

Biblical submitting takes a wrong turn, though, when it 1) regularly uses top-down communication; and 2) wrongly assumes the group’s role is mostly that of approving your life decisions and providing answers for how to carry these out.

This “my way or the highway” approach is needlessly offensive. Fidelity to Scripture doesn’t require this.

To further clarify what submitting should look like in a small group, let’s focus on what happens when a group member shares a strategy for some change needing to be made in that person’ life. Because we don’t want group members to be overly group-dependent, we want them in the vanguard of decision-making—valuing their views, wanting to hear their best thoughts, treating them as adults.

Therefore, once they get God’s guidance for which area of life a certain scripture applies and a good way to begin applying it, our follow-up will focus on process.

We will encourage them to share further about their personal history with this problem (its triggers, its frequency, persons adversely affected, past attempts to solve it, etc.). It will not be one where the group immediately reverts to top-down-approve-or-disapprove judgments.

At some point, top-down declarations may be needed—this is where exhorting, admonishing, and even rebuking fits in—but we don’t have to start that way. We must remember that our exuberance to help people can diminish them as problem-solvers, and can diminish even the Holy Spirit’s role as their teacher and guide. We don’t want this.

If something seems to be missing, or even in error, in a group member’s proposed strategy, the preferred follow up in not one of confrontation but one which asks, “What about this idea? Or have you considered this factor?”

This style doesn’t mean there is a tolerance for unscriptural decisions; there isn’t. Scripture is our guide. Therefore, there should be the instilled conviction in every group to make choices consistent with Scripture. Always! In every instance!

However, this approach does mean that we purpose to be sensitive in our responses, even at those times when these are more directive and prescriptive recommendations.

There! Good for you! You did read this article—and no one forced you to do it!

You were prompted, but not compelled. So also, with Biblical submitting—there’s no coercion.