The Fear of Missing Out
My granddog loves me. Even my son thinks his dog loves me more than she loves him. While it’s nice to be loved, she follows me everywhere. I “babysit” three days a week, and she is at my side constantly. Whatever I’m doing, she wants to be a part of it. She has a fear of missing out.
FOMO. The Fear of Missing Out. This is not a malady exclusive to golden retrievers. Too many of us suffer from this disease.
- We stay up late binge-watching multiple episodes because we have a fear of missing out on what everyone is talking about in the office.
- We’re so tired, but we head out for a night with friends because we’re afraid of missing out on whatever fun they might have.
- We sign up for yet another book study or service project because we’re afraid of missing out on another church activity—even though we’re already at the church three days a week.
- I suffer from FOMO when it comes to reading. I hyperventilate walking into a public library. All those books! Where do I start? I could read this one … or that one … but if I read this one I’ll miss reading that book over there!
FOMO is also fueled by a concern that people will think poorly of us if we turn down an invitation or a request. One study found that 77 percent of those asked went to an event they didn’t want to attend because they were afraid of blowback if they didn’t. There was a fear of upsetting the other person or not receiving future invitations. So, FOMO is not just the fear of missing out on one event, but the fear that they won’t be asked to other events—leading to even more FOMO!
That’s a fallacy. The study also reported that people extending invites were quite understanding. They weren’t sad or angry. The study found that people would not let a declined invitation keep them from extending invitations in the future[1]. I know this from experience. On many occasions, I’ve had to assure writers that it’s OK to turn down a writing opportunity if the timing is not good. I will come back in the future and ask again.
It’s OK to say no. We overextend ourselves too much, and it’s OK to say, “Not this time.” Do what God wants you to do. Your schedule is not bound to the demands of others; your schedule should be bound to what God wants you to do. So, protect your schedule—and protect your rest.
When you succumb to FOMO—the fear of missing out—you may also be missing out on rest, down time, and a relaxed evening with family (or a book!). All that could be exactly what God wants you to do.
Jesus had an incredible ministry, but He slipped away one morning for time alone with the Father. His disciples found Him and chided Him for the ministry He was missing out on. ““Everyone is looking for you” (Mark 1:37). There was serious ministry He could be doing, but Jesus didn’t let the fear of missing that keep Him from something greater. So, if you easily give in to the time demands of others, prayerfully consider that you might be missing out on something greater: rest, renewal, and refreshment.
It’s OK to say no.
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[1] https://theconversation.com/are-our-fears-of-saying-no-overblown-222473.
