The Ministry of Friendship
The best friends are praying friends…friends who tell you what you need to hear…friends who want you to have a good day when you stand before the Lord. Yes, a good test of a good friend is this: Do they help me to be more of what God wants me to be?
Proverbs 27 identifies characteristics of true friendship:
- Good friends sting. “Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful” (v. 6). A genuine friend is willing to wound you – not to hurt you, but to help you.
- Good friends are sweet. “Ointment and perfume rejoice the heart: so doth the sweetness of a man’s friend by hearty counsel” (v. 9). There is an immeasurable value to good advice. Wise friends do not draw you to themselves; they point you to God. Their goal is not to get you to do what they want but to help you do what God wants!
- Good friends are sure. “Thine own friend, and thy father’s friend, forsake not…” (v. 10).
- Good friends are sincere. “He that blesseth his friend with a loud voice, rising early in the morning, it shall be counted a curse to him” (v. 14). True friends tell the truth! They are not two faced and they do not say empty words.
- Good friends sharpen. “Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend” (v. 17).
Proverbs has a concentrated emphasis on authentic friendships, and the lives of those who lead should model them every day.
Ministry Friendships
It seems that preachers have some inherent challenges in the area of friendship. Most ministers know great numbers of people and have a host of acquaintances. They usually model friendliness, but frequently lack true friends. According to a survey by Barna, at least 65% of pastors battle feelings of loneliness and isolation. Some of this is due to the loneliness of leadership, and some is due to the tendency to isolate. Public people often withdraw into themselves when they are hurting, but this can make them even more susceptible to spiritual attack. (Visit our Preachers Page to find resources for the ministry.)
If ministry is relational, then it should go without saying that those who lead in ministry need healthy relationships. This begins with God, continues with the intimate friendship of your spouse, and should extend to other healthy friendships. God has designed it that friendship itself is a ministry – a ministry that the minister cannot live without.
Meaningful Friendships
I have been blessed to have precious, long-term friendships with men who have encouraged and edified me. I hope I have done the same for them. Yet, at this stage of life and ministry, I realize more than ever the necessity of working at those relationships and developing others. Meaningful friendships are not accidental. They are providential and they must be intentional. If you want to develop and maintain good friends you have to continually invest in those relationships.
Like everything in life, it is easy to become selfish even about friendship. This is not only about what we receive; it is about what God wants us to give. You don’t get what you want…you get what you are. Be the friend you need and God will give you friends. Someone said, “I went out to find a friend, but did not find one there; I went out to be a friend and found friends everywhere.”
REST 2025
September 1-3, 2025
Hosted at the Tabernacle Baptist Church
Hickory, NC
It is a privilege to co-host the annual REST Conference with my friend, Scott Hooks. This year’s meeting is centered on “The Ministry of Friendship,” and we believe it will be a refreshing time for preachers and their wives. Pastor Rick Finley and other friends will join us to share helpful Bible truth and testimonies. We would love for you to join us – and bring a friend!
Scott Hooks will be teaching Bible principles of friendship from the example of David and Jonathan. I will be sharing thoughts from the perfect pattern of Jesus and his intimate band of first disciples. The content will be biblical and the fellowship will be enjoyable.
Register today at therestconference.com
Those who register by July 15 will receive a free copy of The Gift of Friendship by Dr. Clarence Sexton. Pastor Sexton is with the Lord now, but his influence lives on in the ministry God has given to me, to Scott, and to so many others around the world. He taught us so much from the Word and this little volume will be a tremendous blessing to you and those you love.
Thank you for praying for us and encouraging us in the work of God. Plan to join us on Labor Day for this special gathering of gospel co-laborers. We all need the Lord and we need one another.
Your friend,
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