THE POWER OF HATRED (A)
“I hate him. I love him and hate him at the same time, but he’s my bestfriend.”
There was something about the tone he used. It’s so hard to place. It’s a mixture of sadness and regret. Maybe, anger too.
I didn’t know what to say, and it happens to me a whole lot. When I’m confused, I wait, I listen. God doesn’t leave his loved ones stranded. He’ll give me words. He’ll give Tayo peace and understanding.
“It’s okay.”
“No, Moon. It’s not okay to hate. You preach, don’t you? You should be hating people who own such feelings. Maybe, one day I’ll wake up hating the whole world, including you.”
“I preach about love, Tayo. It doesn’t mean I should hate people who don’t love, it doesn’t mean I should condemn them. No one has the right to treat you badly because of how you feel. It’s only in rare cases that hatred just comes into our hearts, most times something brings it. Something bigger will take it back.”
God was coming through with my voice, I felt happy and I relaxed. I was ready to talk to Tayo, just talk the way God wanted me to, until the voice came.
“Look at your life, Moon. How do you preach to people when your life is such a mess.”
Oh, God! No, not now.
The first thing I do when the devil is trying to come into my mind is to reject whatever he’s saying. Even though it’s true.
“I’m not a mess. My life is not a mess.” I whispered. I had to believe myself for it to work, so I forced myself into believing. My voice was breaking, I coughed and loudly cleared my throat.
“Are you alright?” It was Tayo’s voice this time. I nodded with an appreciative smile.
It can’t be both of us. I’ve got to be okay to help Tayo.
“You need help.” The voice came again, and I wished I could see the speaker so I could kick him into believing that I don’t need help, because I already have help. I have God.
I tried to stand on what I believe in, but I saw myself falling in realization of who I am and what I face everyday. I could hear another Voice telling me that I was a fighter. I may be a fighter.
This fighter is human too.
This fighter is imperfect too.
This fighter gets distracted too.
This fighter hates the fact that she’s human. I cried.
Tayo stared. I wish he wouldn’t think he was the reason I was crying. I wish I’d finished with him before the devil visited. I wished I didn’t have to be so weak.
“IT’S FINISHED. I’M IN YOU. YOUR STRENGTH WHEN YOU GO WEAK.”
The voice came from the insides of my stomach.
This isn’t me.
I looked at Tayo, he was sitting on the grass. He nodded. I knew that was his own way of telling me to take my time and he was waiting. I felt grateful.
I suddenly looked at my body like I was seeing it through the eyes of someone else. I stared. I laughed. God is in me. God is at peace. The devil is not at peace. His job is to make us see ourselves as dirty. As useless. When you listen to Him, you feel useless.
I learnt immediately, that it’s stupid to use the fact that you’re human and imperfect as a chance to fall in and out of sin. Have you been born again? Good. Then you’re no longer of this world. You’re dead to the things of this world. You’re born anew. This time you’re born in God. That’s why he sends his Spirit to us. That’s why God lives in us. That’s why you think twice or maybe thrice before you indulge in things that could hurt God or insult Christ’s death on the cross.
You’re no longer You.
If you keep hiding in the blanket of being human and imperfect, trust me, the devil won’t stop coming.
Yes, you’re in this world and no, you’re not of this world. Spot the difference. When you understand this, the devil wouldn’t use and twist your life whenever he likes.
You’re beautiful. You’re not messed up. You’re not useless. You’re here for a purpose. We all are.
🌼 🌼 🌼
This story is of two parts, the second part would be more about Tayo, the hatred he carries, and why I agreed with what he felt.
The second part would be out very soon.
The second part would be released pretty soon.
Hang on tight.
God adores you.
I do too.
Joy C. Uchenaya
N.b – Please like and comment.
This platform is inclined towards truth in Christianity. Truth about your life as a growing Christian. Here, I'm building an audience who can ask and answer questions unashamedly, as regards our walk with God and the obstacles we're faced with in Christianity. I'm building an audience who can share experiences, strengths, weaknesses, challenges, regrets, fights, interests, hopes, aspirations and achievements as regards life and Christianity.
Join us!
View more posts
