The Spiritual Groping: Seeking Meaning in a Material World

By Elizabeth Prata

I watch Youtube for a few topics, among them, thrifting videos. I like to learn about antiques and vintage items and their production, origin, or history. I watch some content creators who are Christians but most are not Christians, they are just living their lives and making money by making these videos as their job.

As we go along in their walk with Christ, we become more and more saturated with a biblical worldview. Our former secular worldview is increasingly shaved away. No longer blind, we now see. Many times what we see is sad, because we are increasingly recognizing the ‘lostness’ of the people around us. They are searching, groping.

We grope for the wall like people who are blind, We grope like those who have no eyes. We stumble at midday as in the twilight; Among those who are healthy we are like the dead. (Isaiah 59:10).

Jesus talked of people blindly stumbling as they went along, even falling into a pit. It’s a vivid metaphor for the lost, who vainly search for what they know now and even if they find it, reject it.

He made from one man every nation of mankind to live on all the face of the earth, having determined their appointed times and the boundaries of their habitation, that they would seek God, if perhaps they might feel around for Him and find Him, though He is not far from each one of us; (Acts 17:26-27)

So this one thrifting video lady I watch on Youtube had a video recently where she was at home, not thrifting, and just spoke from her heart. She said she had been doing thrifting-reselling videos for 13 years. For the past year or so, she said, she’s been spiraling. She feels like she is losing her identity as a person and as a content creator.

“It’s causing me some emotional turmoil at times. I’m struggling with my identity because I feel like pieces of my identity are being taken from me piece by piece and when those pieces are taken away I’m no longer an original. I’m not who I thought I was. I’m having an identity crisis. If I’m no longer me who am I this has been my question for the past months who am I what am I doing?”

She said what she does for work is becoming monotonous. She needs something new, she said to the camera.

She s groping for meaning in her life, if I may state my opinion about her self-revealing video. What to do when the “thrill of the find” wears off? The rush you get from finding the exact treasure at Goodwill that you didn’t know you needed, wears off. It’s fleeting. The rush of adrenaline from selling that item for more money than you paid for it, also wears off. It’s fleeting.

It is the same no matter what you do in this life. Whatever you try, it will not be fulfilling. I know. I’ve been there. During my groping years I sought fulfillment in a different job, fame, travel, books, justice, education (wisdom), people, you name it. I still groped, stumbled, and remained unfulfilled. Who am I? What was I doing in this life? What is my identity, just a blob of flesh that in the end, dies and decomposes? Yes, I actively wondered about these things.

The Book of Ecclesiastes is all about that seeking and not finding. The “Preacher”, usually attributed to King Solomon, reveals that depression will inevitably result when seeking happiness in worldly things. The world cannot satisfy. It only leads to emptiness and despair.

So the Youtube lady shared in her video that to resolve her identity crisis and to stop ‘struggling’, she bought a house that she will turn into an AirBnB. THAT will give her new resolve to enjoy her life she intimated. She needed another layer to her life “to hold onto.” As far as I know she is also married with a child or children.

So, her solution was simply more of the same, to thrift for items, but this time to decorate a different house, an AirBnB house instead of her own house or to resell. It won’t work.

I was saddened by this admission and more saddened by her attempted resolution. It got me thinking about Apostle Paul. He was strong, resolute, and diligent in his walk. He was also emotional. He wept for his churches. He mourned over the lost. He cried over the Corinthians’ unruliness. He was angry with the Galatians incipient defection.

Paul cried a lot-

He cried because he was concerned for others’ spiritual well-being. He cried because he had a passionate commitment to God’s work. He cried over the lost of the world in deep spiritual grief. He cried because he loved Jesus so much and wanted everyone to know Him as well.

May we all have such concern, compassion, and such care for the people around us and the people in the world. They are lost, groping, and wondering why they do not feel a deep sense of restful satisfaction. We know. The restful, peaceful soul knows Christ.