The Unmistakable Grace of a Reverent Woman

It’s Sunday morning, and I catch a glimpse of her from across the gym-turned-sanctuary as our church gathers to worship together. She stands next to her husband, her silvery hair resting softly on her shoulders. Her outfit is simple and put together. Although she might not stand out in a crowd, there’s something about her that draws me in: her inside-out love for Christ. 

Everything about her inward and outward presence indicates that she lives for Him. She delights in God’s Word. She acts with dignity and grace. She addresses others kindly and with boldness. She’s loving and speaks what is true. Her eyes sparkle with joy, and her hugs are tight. Her whole demeanor overflows with the reality that she belongs to the Lord. 

In short, she is a picture of a reverent woman. 

I have the privilege of knowing and spending time with many such women, each having unique personalities, styles, and interests. Yet all of them carry the unmistakable grace of a woman who fears God and delights to obey Him in her words, actions, dress, and demeanor. I treasure their example because they counter the narrative that leaving the ways of the world behind leads to a sad, even oppressed, existence. Or, perhaps even more often, the idea that godliness in some areas of life justifies worldly living in others. Sadly, I’ve felt this pull too. If my conscience pricks me while I make excuses to explain why something “really isn’t that bad,” I’ve probably bought into the lie that there was more joy in my “old” life—the one that Jesus died to save me from. May it not be so, Lord.

As women of God, we need to understand that being reverent in everything we do and say is our joy and privilege. Just like an ambassador with the honor of representing his or her country in a foreign land, we have the similar—yet far more incredible—honor of representing our King as His redeemed daughters. There’s no drudgery in that. 

Still, denying our flesh and following Christ is not easy. We’ll constantly be swimming upstream against temptations that bombard us from all around. But as we keep our eyes fixed on our Savior and our hearts filled with His Word, saying no to temporal pleasures and behaviors for the glory of our Lord will become the joy that it’s supposed to be for those of us who belong to Him. 

Let’s take a closer look at the beautiful, biblical directive to live a reverent life. 

The Call to Reverence

Titus 2:3 begins with these words: “In the same way, older women are to be reverent in behavior.” 

The word reverence here means “befitting men [or women], actions, places, or sacred things to God.”¹ In essence, it’s the fitting behavior of those who’ve been set apart by the Lord. This implies that our lives should look differently than they did before we were saved. God wants to use our lives to spread His aroma throughout the world, so that those who are lost might be drawn to Him. But if we blend in with the scent of the world, how will others know there’s a difference? 

If we begrudge reverence, we likely have a wrong understanding of what it means to love the Lord and follow Him. First John 5:3 says, “For this is what love for God is: to keep his commands. And his commands are not a burden.”

We need to ask ourselves: do we view this command to be reverent as a burden? If so, it’s possible that we don’t love God as we ought to. If we’re trying to find excuses for not obeying Him, it could be that we’ve made something in our lives an idol that we revere more than Him. 

Consider Proverbs 28:14: 

Happy is the one who is always reverent, 
but one who hardens his heart falls into trouble.

If we’re not happy about living lives that are distinct from those in the world, it’s an indicator that we’re trying to find our satisfaction in things or people other than Christ. And as the verse above warns, this is a dangerous place to be. Why? Because God’s pattern for living brings life! Whatever He commands is for our good. 

If the Lord pinpoints an area of our lives where we’re justifying irreverent living, we need to come before Him and confess it. We need to ask Him to increase our love and desire for Him over that worldly pleasure and to give us the grace to say no to things that don’t belong in a life redeemed by the blood of Jesus. He will be faithful to do it and to increase our joy in living for Him. 

Rejecting the Pitfalls of Legalism and Liberty

Some of us might have grown up in circles where certain preferences for living and dressing were placed on us or communicated to us as the only biblical way to live lives of holiness. In some cases, they may have been tied in some way to our salvation status. This type of legalism is dangerous because when people say the Bible commands certain rules that it doesn’t actually command, they cause confusion and place burdens on others that God did not intend. 

However, an equally dangerous pitfall exists: throwing out the bounds of righteous living altogether. Those who fall into this ditch believe that calling others to any standards in the way we act or dress is inherently oppressive and legalistic. Both miss the bigger picture and fail to correctly interpret Scripture. 

The reality is that we are called to live differently than the world. We’re told to “put off” some elements of life before Christ and to put on those things that should mark our lives now as believers (Col. 3:1–17). But the “how” of many of these directives is left up to individual believers to work out in their own families, communities, and cultural contexts. We are free to follow our consciences in the “how” as we recognize that the Bible allows us to work these things out individually before Him. 

As our hearts overflow with love for God, our lives will become more and more reverent. This change won’t be driven by fear or pride or legalism, nor will we throw off all standards in the name of “freedom.” True reverence is freeing because it aligns our choices with how God intends us to live. This is a wonderful thing. 

If you’re a younger woman who is working through the mixed messages you’re hearing about what marks a godly life, I would encourage you first to go to the Lord in His Word. Search the Scriptures to see what He has to say on the matter (you can start right in Titus 2:3–5). Don’t allow the world to shape your views on godliness—allow God to shape your views on godliness. 

Then, identify some older women in your life who display the Bible’s definition of reverence. Observe their lives. No, they won’t be perfect. But I can assure you, where there is reverence for the Lord, there will be love and joy and peace too. Learn from these women. Listen to them. They are treasure troves of the wisdom that comes from years of walking with the Lord. 

As women of God, let’s not buy the lie that reverent living is defined by long faces and drab days. May God instead give us His vision of the delight and freedom that come from worshipful hearts and lives. There is truly no greater way to live.

Beautiful. Gracious. Joyful. Those probably aren’t the words you’re using to describe the political ads filling your inbox and fighting for your attention everywhere you turn . . . but they are words that describe the message of Christ’s gospel. Be inspired to adorn the gospel and take the hope of Christ to a corrupt and hurting world with the latest edition of the Revive Our Hearts Newsletter. 

¹ Strong’s Greek: 2412. ἱεροπρεπής (hieroprepés)—reverent. Accessed September 10, 2024. https://biblehub.com/greek/2412.htm.