Therefore, we do not lose heart, but though our outer person is decaying, yet our inner person is being renewed day by day- 2nd Corinthians 4:16 NASB

Settling.

It’s a notion most modern people are a bit uncomfortable with. 

The whole concept of settling smacks uncomfortably of losing— or at the very least not trying hard enough. We teach our kids from the time they are capable of conscience thought not to settle for a single thing. Humans learn early on to continuously strive for more stuff, to work our tails off, to do our very best and by golly to win—no matter the cost.

Okay, so the Bible is a bit of a mixed bag when it comes to the issue of settling. Contrary, to what most of us were taught growing up, the Bible is clear: settling can be good and healthy as long as we are settling for the right stuff. God loves it when we make the choice to settle for being content with what we have (1st Timothy 6:6) Living a quiet life without a lot of self-aggrandizement or ballyhoo is a good and God-ordained thing to settle for (1stThessalonians 4:11, 2nd Timothy 2:2).  God rejoices when His people settle for doing good with the time they’ve been given (Psalm 37:3, Ecclesiastes 3:12). It’s always good to settle in and sit in the presence of God (Luke 10:38-42). In fact, that kind of simplicity is what we were made for. 

However. 

It occurred to be recently that most people (me included) are quick to settle for the one thing we should never settle for.  All the while shunning the very stuff we ought to eagerly settle for, because all the things God wants us to settle for are guaranteed to bring us joy, peace and contentment. This painful realization came as I was making my way through Romans. The verse that got me thinking about all this appears to be unrelated to the whole notion of settling, but it’s not. It said: 

Love must be free of hypocrisy- Romans 12:9a

It hit me pretty much out of nowhere that I have settled for exhibiting a surfacy (hypocritical) kind of love that looks and says all the right things but is not really heartfelt or sincere. Then it hit me, again pretty much out of nowhere that I tend to settle for all sorts of surfacy things. Not all the time, but often enough, it ought to shake me up. 

Yikes. 

I have been known to settle for surfacy goodness, all the while the gunk inhabiting my heart is far from honorable. I have settled for going through the surfacy motions of worship while my mind was on my to-do list. I have settled for surfacy courtesy while I harbored a less than gracious spirit. I have settled for surfacy joy that lacked any kind of depth and never really reached my soul. I have settled for looking good rather than being good, in myself as well as in my children while they were growing up.

Yikes. 

It would be tempting (and easy) for everyone (including me) to write me off as an insincere buttheaded jerk. However, I don’t think I’m alone. If I were a betting woman, I would bet good money I have lots of company. It’s one of those ugly characteristics of the human condition no one likes to talk about: we all have this tendency to settle for surfacy goodness instead of doing the spiritual work needed to actually be good. Human beings naturally gravitate towards fake goodness rather than fulfilling our God-given purpose to be like Jesus. 

At the root of the problem is our nature (Ecclesiastes 7:20, Romans 1:18-32, Romans 3:23, Romans 7:18, 1stCorinthians 2:18). We are sinners and because we are sinners true, heartfelt, gut level goodness does not come naturally to humans, even redeemed humans (Matthew 10:18, Psalm 53:3, Romans 3:12). That said, nothing is impossible with God (Matthew 19:26) nor is the problem with God. The problem is always with us. We are reluctant to do the work because the work always involves a personal honesty, self-examination and willingness to allow our hearts and minds to be changed on issues. 

However.

If we are in Christ and really want to be more than surfacy good. It can happen. God never commands anyone to do anything they are unable to accomplish (Colossians 3, Romans 12, 2nd Peter 1:3-11). The key to inner transformation is self-analysis or looking beneath our behavior. Behavior is important, God cares a great deal about what we do.  However, behavior is rarely the best measure of inner goodness. Feelings are (oddly enough) often a better barometer of our inner goodness than behavior is. If we self-examine and recognize we have the right behavior but a terrible attitude we need to take our negative feelings to the Lord in prayer and ask God to give us the right heart. Then we need to keep praying and repenting and asking for heart change until we get to the point when our feelings begin to match our behavior. It will happen. It may not happen overnight but if it’s what we really want it will happen. 

At the heart of surfacy goodness is hypocrisy and there is nothing Jesus hates more than hypocrisy (Matthew 6:2-16, Matthew 23).  Further complicating the matter is for Christians surfacy goodness can lead to a religious spirit. When we have a religious spirit looking good is all we care about. 

I’m not a big believer in New Years resolutions. That said, there is value in setting spiritual goals and doing what it takes to meet them. The goal of genuine, heartfelt goodness is a goal every Christian ought to set.