What To Do When He Hasn't Texted You All Day: A Guide For Ladies - Olubunmi Mabel

What To Do When He Hasn’t Texted You All Day: A Guide For Ladies

When you are into a guy, you want to be in touch with him as much as possible, especially when you are just getting to know each other.

You want him to be the first human you talk to and the last person you text before going to bed.

So, what happens when you don’t hear from him all day?

Your mind will probably be racing with thoughts like, “Did I do something wrong?” or “Does he not like me anymore?”

But before jumping to conclusions and spiraling into a texting frenzy, take a moment to breathe and follow these steps.

1. Don’t Panic

First and foremost, do not panic.

It’s easy to let your thoughts get the best of you when you don’t receive a text from the guy you like all day long.

But remember, there could be a myriad of reasons why he hasn’t reached out.

Maybe he’s busy with work, has a flat phone battery, or simply forgot to respond.

He might have gotten sick, lost his phone, or gotten into some form of trouble.

There are many times I intend to reach out to someone and get caught up in something else, only to realize later that I never replied or even reached out.

So before jumping to conclusions, take a deep breath, give him the benefit of the doubt, and try not to let your emotions take over.

2. Don’t Overanalyze

Similar to not panicking, try not to overanalyze the situation.

It’s easy to start dissecting every interaction you’ve had with him and searching for potential reasons why he hasn’t texted you back, especially if you are an overthinker like me.

Trust me, I always come up with a thousand different scenarios that lead to me being ghosted by the guy I like.

However, overanalyzing will only make you feel worse and could potentially skew your perception of the situation.

It’ll also lead to unnecessary stress and anxiety.

You can overanalyze all you want, but you’ll never know for sure until you reach out and ask him directly.

So, instead, try to stay present and focus on the facts rather than creating a story in your head.

3. Keep Yourself Busy

”An idle mind is the devil’s playground.”

While you’re waiting for a text from him, try to keep yourself busy.

If you have ever had to wait anxiously for something, you’ll find that the clock crawls.

Well, time goes by the same way, but anxiety can skew one’s imagination, making it seem like the clock is barely ticking.

How to handle this? 

Do something that will take your mind off constantly checking your phone and waiting for a notification.

Go for a walk, call up a friend, work out, cook for the week, watch an exciting movie, anything that will make you feel good and keep your mind occupied.

Not only will this help you stay sane, but it’ll also make the time go by faster.

4. Reach Out

If he hasn’t texted you all day, and you’re genuinely worried or confused, don’t be afraid to reach out and ask him what’s up.

There’s nothing wrong with initiating a conversation and letting him know you’re thinking of him.

Just keep your message light and casual so he doesn’t feel pressured or overwhelmed.

You can say something like, “Hey, how’s your day going?” or “I haven’t heard from you today. Everything okay?”

This will give him the chance to explain himself and hopefully ease any concerns you may have. 

5. Don’t Bombard Him with Messages

While it’s important to reach out to him to find out if he’s alright, it’s also crucial to give him space.

If he hasn’t responded yet, don’t immediately send multiple messages asking for an explanation or bombarding him with questions.

This can come off as clingy and may push him further away. 

Instead, give him some time to respond, and if you still haven’t heard back after a few hours, then consider reaching out again.  

But remember to keep your messages calm and understanding rather than demanding or accusatory. 

You can also consider putting a call through to him just to check on him.

6. Stay Positive

It’s natural to feel worried or even upset if your man isn’t responding to you.

However, it’s important to stay positive and not jump to negative conclusions.

Instead of assuming the worst, remind yourself that there could be a legitimate reason for his lack of communication.

Maybe he’s really busy with work or is dealing with a personal issue that needs his attention. 

Most of the things we worry about never actually happen, so try not to let your mind spiral into negative thoughts.

7. Don’t Make Rash Decisions

At this point, if your mind is overactive, you may be tempted to make unreasonable decisions.

In fact, it is always best to make decisions when you are calm and not too emotional.

I have heard people say, “Break up with him before he breaks up with you.”

If for any reason your mind has conceived the idea that he has ghosted on you, you may find yourself wanting to lash out at him via SMS or voice mail.

I once had to confront someone who was fond of sending annoying and insulting messages anytime she couldn’t reach me for a few hours.

I found this very upsetting and had to talk to her about it.

Her behavior was primarily due to her impulsive personality and a sprinkle of unhealed trauma.

You may be tempted to act like her, but remember that you have not heard from him yet.

This is not the time to make hasty conclusions.

Patience is a great virtue in this situation.

8. Listen When He Reaches Out To Talk

It is important to maintain a calm, cool, and collected demeanor when he eventually reaches out.

Shouting, sarcasm, or guilt-tripping him won’t help; neither will giving him the silent treatment as payback.

Be calm enough to listen to his reason for being incommunicado.

Who knows?

He may have a valid reason, and you’ll end up looking and feeling like the unreasonable one.

So, listen.

9. Check Within

Introspection helps a lot in cases like this.

Ask yourself if you are anxious because your man is incommunicado or because you are afraid he has actually left you.

Indeed, fear has its roots in insecurity!

Maybe a part of you still feels insecure in the relationship.

This is true because when fear lives rent-free in your head, it can express itself in different ways, including extreme emotions like anxiety, anger, paranoia, etc.

Checking within will help ascertain the true source of your worry.

If it is because you have had a track record of being ghosted or being served premium breakfast in relationships, then you need to embark on a healing journey so the past stops haunting you. 

Also, is it possible you are exaggerating the time he has been off the grid for?

Maybe you are obsessing so much about him and expecting too frequent communication.

Most relationships encounter this challenge at the early stage.

Perhaps you should check your expectations.

It’ll also be great to have this conversation with him too.

10. Move On Gracefully

In the event that the seed of his silence yields a breakup or actual ghosting, get ready to move on gracefully.

Give yourself grace.

It hurts to be dumped in such a way, but don’t let that define you.

Give yourself time to heal and get help if you need it.

Leverage support systems, keep investing in yourself, and live purposefully.

It is expected to want to worry when your man goes incommunicado, but it is vital to ask yourself why you are worried, is it for him or because of him?

Are you worried out of concern for him? 

Or are you worried out of fear that he is planning on leaving you?

It is important also to stay calm and keep an open mind even as you await his response to your messages.

Chin up, girl!