When A Woman Spends Money On A Man: What It Means And The Consequences - Olubunmi Mabel
It was Nigerian artiste Davido who sang “Love is sweet oh, when money enter, love is sweeter”.
Money makes love sweeter.
Heck, money makes everything sweeter.
I know how happier and more comfortable I feel when I have lots of money.
And I’m sure you can relate too.
Not because money controls you but because of the comfort, luxury, enjoyment, and all that good stuff it allows you to get.
Do you know what’s even sweeter about money?
When the money you’re enjoying is not yours.
Spending money you didn’t work for has a different taste of sweetness.
Women enjoy money spent on them by men and men too enjoy money spent on them by women.
However, let us zoom into the latter today.
Let us discuss a woman spending money on a man.
Is it normal, abnormal, good, or bad?
When a woman spends money on a man, what does it mean and what are the possible follow-ups or outcomes?
Since I can’t answer all your questions at once, I’ll take them one after the other.
First, let us look at the possible meanings.
When A Woman Spends Money On A Man: What It Means
1. She’s generous
I know, I know, Captain Obvious.
But as obvious as it seems, I had to say it just in case it didn’t cross your mind.
When a woman spends money on a man, it might have no meaning other than the fact that she’s a generous person.
As terrible as the world is and as much as it seems like everyone is self-seeking and stingy, there are still people out there who have a genuinely magnanimous nature.
They love giving and enjoy sharing their resources with people around them.
I enjoy giving and love supporting people financially when I can and one thing I’ve since learned is that people always struggle to believe that I’m doing it with no strings attached.
It’s like they’ve been conditioned to believe that if I’m giving them money, then I have a hidden agenda or what something in return.
Meanwhile, I’m just being a helpful person and supporting in my little way.
That may just be it for the woman.
2. She loves him
Now we’re stepping into deeper waters.
The big feeling – Love.
The one thing that makes people do so many things, some of which they wouldn’t ordinarily do under different circumstances.
People do a lot of things for love, they would go miles, even if it means “walking in the rain and snow with nowhere to go” just as the song lyrics of “The Things We Do For Love” by 10cc says.
So while you may be wondering why the woman is lavishly splurging her currencies on that man, one thing that may not have crossed your mind is that she’s in love with him.
She genuinely cares about him and wants to make him happy by providing gifts or financial support.
It doesn’t necessarily mean she has all the money in the world or does not like being spoiled by her man too.
It just speaks of the deep feelings she has for him.
3. She’s showing support
She might just be showing him support.
Perhaps he’s going through financial difficulties and needs help to get back on his feet.
She believes it’s a temporary phase and doesn’t mind lending a helping hand until his situation improves.
Sometimes it’s from a sincere heart that wants to help but other times, it’s a result of pressure.
She might be flowing with societal expectations that say that spending money on her partner is a normal part of a relationship.
Or it might be pressure from friends or in-laws making her spend money on her partner in order to be seen as a good girlfriend or wife.
4. She has other motives
Strategic giving is something a lot of people do.
They support people financially but not without a reason.
The motive behind strategic giving varies for different people.
She might be giving as a form of investment for her future with him – while looking forward to them being together long-term.
She believes that showing him financial support will build trust and strengthen their bond.
Another possible motive could be to impress him or his friends and family by showing her financial capability.
Or does she just enjoy feeling in control or empowered by being the primary financial supporter?
It could be anything.
5. She’s showing appreciation
A woman spending money on a man may be a way of showing her gratitude for his presence and support in her life.
She may genuinely feel indebted to him for something and chooses to show her gratitude in this way.
Or maybe it’s even a form of reciprocity.
Perhaps he showed her financial support in the past so she feels like it’s only right that she reciprocates the financial support she has received from him in the past.
6. Guilt and low self-esteem
Another rather interesting reason a woman might be spending money on a man is guilt.
I know it sounds weird but it happens.
She might feel guilty about something she did or didn’t do so she tries to compensate by spending money on him.
Low self-esteem is another side to this; she may feel that spending money is a way to keep his interest and affection on her.
Whatever her reasons may be, the truth is that when a woman spends money on a man, it has certain effects.
I’ve broken down the effects into positives and negatives.
Let us take a look.
When A Woman Spends Money On A Man: The Positive Implications
1. He feels supported and loved
When a woman spends money on a man, particularly if the man is her partner, he will feel supported and loved.
Everybody needs support and help sometimes and just knowing that she’s there for him and is willing to make sacrifices for him will make him feel cherished.
2. He can get back on his feet faster
It’s easier to get back up after falling when someone is there to help you.
If the man is in some kind of financial crisis, the woman’s financial support can help him get back on his feet faster.
It doesn’t always have to be the man doing the spending.
The woman can also assist financially too, when the need arises and she has the means to.
3. Their bond is strengthened
The ultimate effect of the two implications mentioned above is that the bond between the man and the woman is better strengthened.
Even if their relationship or marriage was good before, it’ll become better.
When people show up for us in difficult times or make us see that they are there to support us, we become more endeared to them.
Now let us have a look at the other side.
When A Woman Spends Money On A Man: The Consequences
1. Dependency
One very unpleasant thing that happens sometimes when a woman spends money on a man is that the man may become financially dependent on her.
Men with high levels of irresponsibility see this as an opportunity to relax and be mediocre.
They are comfortable with the woman being the provider, leading to an imbalance in the relationship.
What the woman did as an act of goodwill and to show support to the man may end up becoming her intentionally enabling his lack of financial responsibility.
2. Resentment
Resentment is one thing that comes in more often than not in situations like this.
Some people believe that women were not made, designed, or wired to be the permanent providers in their relationship and I agree.
If the woman keeps spending money on the man indefinitely, she might become resentful in the long run, especially if she believes that has financial support is not being reciprocated or appreciated.
It gets worse if she overextends herself financially, and becomes broke as a result of spending on him.
This may lead to a build-up of unpleasant feelings leading to relationship issues and communication breakdown.
And if the relationship ends, she might feel like she wasted her resources and time.
3. Erosion of self esteem
This can happen both ways; first on the side of the man.
While men may not care how money comes in, as long as they keep spending on them, they are fine.
For some other men, it’s different: they might feel emasculated and their self-esteem may be affected by the money situation in the relationship.
On the side of the woman, if she’s constantly spending money to keep the man’s interest, her self-esteem can also be affected over time.
4. Frequent conflicts
Money issues are a very common source of conflict in relationships and marriages.
A relationship dynamic where a woman keeps spending money on a man can exacerbate tension.
Moreso if the couple has misaligned priorities.
When their financial focus for a period differs, it can lead to disagreements and misunderstandings.
This dynamic may also lead to a loss of respect where the man takes her generosity for granted and she in turn becomes hateful.
A power dynamic may also come up if the woman keeps bringing the supply.
It can happen so subtly that it’s barely even noticed.
Because she’s doing all the heavy lifting in terms of finances, she now has more control, which can strain the relationship.
5. External judgment
People always have an opinion about things.
Even things that are not their business.
Situations like this have great potential for people’s attention and opinions.
If the people around them know about who is spending the money in the relationship, tongues may wag.
Friends and family might judge her or her partner, causing external pressures on their relationship.
A proper understanding of these reasons and the possible implications can help in maintaining a balanced and healthy relationship regarding money.
Both partners need to communicate openly about finances and ensure that their financial situation are supportive rather than detrimental.
