In this post, I’m going to talk about religious “conversion” that takes place when someone changes or attempts to change their religious belief system in order to date or marry someone else.
In fact, some of you wonderful readers may be going through something like this-you are interested in someone, but your values don’t align when it comes to your faith in God.
The person you are seeing may have already indicated they are interested in knowing more about your faith or they may be claiming to have converted to your belief system.
If you think like I do under these circumstances, it sounds like it could be great, but could be kind of sketchy too, right? Christians are aware that we are not to be unequally yoked with unbelievers.
I do believe that most Christians try to comply with the command not to be unequally yoked with unbelievers.The tricky part is when you are in love with someone or at least interested in someone, but you are not of the same mind when it comes to religious beliefs.
For example, the person you want to be with is Seventh-day Adventist and you are non-denominational Christian.
Both of you profess belief in Christ, but there are different foundational values and beliefs between Seventh-Day Adventists and non-denominational Christians. It’s easy and convenient to think, “we both believe in God, we are followers of Christ, and we just have some differences, but it can work.”
I believe the first and best thing to do is pray. It is a good idea to do some research on the person’s faith to find out which, if any differences there are between their belief system and Christianity. Secondly, are the matters foundational, are they issues that are salvific?
Focus On God Rather Than Feelings
I know it is very difficult when there are strong feelings for someone and you want to be with them. However, in the long run and in the short-term, it is best to be sure that as Christians, we become yoked only with fellow believers in Christ.
Minor differences in beliefs that are not salvific and foundational don’t matter as much. But the situation still requires prayer.
I was inspired to do this post because I know sisters in Christ-some who have reached out to me for prayer and are going through difficult situations with their husbands- husbands who currently appear to be unbelievers.
Some have been married over a decade, some less than a decade. Some already have children with their husbands. It is sad. It is always even more tragic when children are involved. Point is, their husbands are not who they thought they were.
They thought they were getting married, equally yoked to other Christians. One’s husband appeared to have transformed, become a Christian before they got married. Now it appears this was not the case.There are multiple manifestations that show these men are chronically not producing the fruit of Christ.
These bad fruits have been going on for some time. Does it mean it’s over and there is no hope? No, not necessarily. Reconciliation should always be the goal for Christian spouses. Often, women keep quiet about situations, pray and hope for the best for years.
Sometimes, church leadership lashes out more at women for speaking up moreso than they compassionately address the problems with care and prayer. Sometimes, women are told to just put up with it and pray. Eventually, the situations can get so bad, these women make the situation more public.
They ask for prayers from friends and relatives. In some cases, they end up separating from their husbands. Sometimes, it is husbands who have unbelieving wives, but they thought they had married women who were following Christ.
Even if a person is not from a different denomination, it is still very important to be prayerful, discerning. The Bible is the blueprint for how we should live and for what we should look for in potential spouses.
Don’t miss the warning signs
The Holy Spirit is our protector and guide. It is very important to see God for direction and pray for discernment. Also, don’t brush off observations.
Every woman I talked to about these matters admits that there were signs, red flags that they pushed aside. One sister even had a man who was non-physically abusive before marriage, but proceeded anyway.
This is somewhat understandable. We tend to think differently when we are in love. We don’t want to be perfectionists and judge the ones we love too harshly. When we think they’re legitimately Christians, we want to trust God that things will work out.
I know some Christian men also find themselves with women who are not followers of Christ, in contrast to what they previously believed about these women.
In Conclusion
It is always good to pray, seek God’s direction and seek wise counsel from mature, fellow Christians before beoming involved with other Christians. It is even more important to do this when a Christian is considering becoming involved with someone of a different faith.
It could even be someone who is claiming they are no longer Atheist or no longer a satan worshiper. They have supposedly converted to Christianity. It may seem legitimate. It could be. It’s best to know the truth before marriage.
Sadly, people can fake transformations in order to marry Christians because they see that they are a good catches! Some men may be primarily motivated by sexual attraction. They want sex and can fake conversions for the women they are attracted to.
In fraudulent types of situations, once marriage happens, years down the road or even sooner, the believing spouse then realizes it was fake. Ladies and gentlemen, we don’t want to be in situations like this!
God proactively directs and protects. Seek Him.
God knows all things. He is the Mighty Counselor. He knows the end from the beginning. He knows if a person is truly transformed, born again and in Christ. Or if they are faking in order to marry you. He knows in what ways they will change down the road. He knows if you will change.
God knows if one’s husband or wife is going to behave themselves for a couple years and then go back to their previous behaviors and lifestyle or worse, after you have married and had children with them.
So please, friends- be proactively careful and prayerful. Many of the unfortunate people who end up in these situations were very careful and prayerful as well. But this is a reminder of how much we need God and His all-around provision.
Helpful Bible Verses:
“Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness? And what accord has Christ with Belial? Or what part has a believer with an unbeliever?” -2 Corinthians 6: 14-15 NKJV
“Can two walk together, unless they are agreed?” -Amos 3:3 NKJV
