Why Is My Husband Always Mad At Me? - 10 Reasons To Consider - Olubunmi Mabel

Disagreements and arguments are normal in relationships.

They sometimes even bring the couple to a place of deeper understanding.

It’s like the weather clearing up after a storm.

But living with a perpetually angry partner can mess with your feelings.

We’re emotional creatures, and our feelings are like a web; we pick up on each other’s emotional signals.

A consistently angry husband can seriously impact your mental and emotional well-being.

Thus affecting your overall life.

If this anger isn’t how he used to be, there’s something deeper going on.

So, why is your husband always mad at you?

We’ll dig into some reasons for this in this blog post.  

“Why Is My Husband Always Mad At Me?” – 10 Reasons To Consider

1. Financial problems

Money is a big deal for humans, especially men.

When a guy’s strapped for cash, he’s not in the best mood.

If your husband is going through a rough financial patch with bills piling up, chances are he won’t be in a jolly mood.

When unhappy, he might unleash his frustration on the closest person to him, who is most likely you.

The pressure of wanting to provide for you and the family can get to him; unfortunately, that stress tends to spill over into his relationships.

I want to categorically state that your husband taking out his financial frustrations on you is a sign of low emotional intelligence.

You may want to talk with him about his attitude, letting him understand how it affects you and your union.  

2. If your husband listens to the news too much

Have you ever heard the saying, “garbage in, garbage out”?

Waking up to bad news every day can mess with your mood.

What you let into your mind shapes your life.

People are getting meaner, and inflation is climbing every day.

The government keeps imposing new rules, politicians are getting bolder with their lies, and there’s so much chaos—wars, rumors, conspiracies, and religious drama—in the world today.

The news  these days should be tagged “bad news,” and if your husband constantly feeds on the news, his new name may be “angry man.”

And guess who gets in the line of fire?

Yep, the person closest to him.

In this case, it is you.

Technically, he isn’t mad at you; it is just a case of a transfer of aggression.  

3. Stress from work

Stress can turn a person into a zombie and hydra-headed monster at once.

A heavy workload can turn the happiest person into an angry one and doesn’t spare even the coolest personalities.

Perhaps your husband is very stressed at work and has poor stress-coping mechanisms.

I advise that you have a conversation with him and examine ways for him to destress.  

4. You are disrespecting him

In the guy code, respect means honoring your husband and being tuned in to his emotions and needs.

Your husband may be constantly mad at you if he feels disrespected and unvalued in the marriage.

Well, in my opinion, using anger as a weapon to combat outright or perceived disrespect is a weak move.

Whatever happened to good ol’ communication?

Communication is a life skill and an urgent one your husband needs to obviously learn.  

5. You deny him sex

Hell hath no fury than a woman scorned, they say.

Well, it is not only women who get angry when they are denied sex or scorned.

Sex is an important need in any romantic relationship.

It’s like a recharge for your husband, so finding a good rhythm is crucial.

When intimacy is lacking, he might start feeling insecure and frustrated. 

Additionally, sex has a therapeutic effect on men; it helps release built-up stress and negativity.

Nigerians call sexual urge “Konji,” and boy, the word on the street is that it can make you do the unbelievable.

You probably didn’t consider this, but this is a probable reason for your husband’s anger.   

6. You nag too much

Maybe he’s consistently mad at you because you nag a lot, constantly complain, or get irritated at him.

His anger at you may be a reflection of how you treat him, too.

This obviously means things are not very great in your marriage.  

7. He is dealing with grief or pain 

If your husband recently lost his job or lost someone in his life, he may be dealing with grief or pain. 

People handle emotions in different ways when they are grieving, but one of the foremost emotions people in this situation feel is anger.

In this case, your husband is not angry at you but struggling within.

He could even be dealing with guilt, hence his anger.

I recommend that he engages a professional therapist’s services.  

8. He regrets the marriage

When you love someone, you always want to give them your best.

It is possible that your husband doesn’t really love you.

If all your husband dishes out to you now is anger and irritability, he may be reflecting the state of his thoughts towards your marriage.

Perhaps he feels trapped in the marriage and wants out, or he is emotionally dissatisfied with your relationship.

This may be why he is always mad at you.  

9. He is frustrated

Frustration and anger are Siamese twins.

A man who is frustrated with his life is sure to channel it into his emotions.

In 2008, after the UEFA Champions League final match between Manchester United and Chelsea, I heard the story of a man who made a mega bet on Chelsea winning, only for Liverpool to pull through and win.

His frustration generated a lot of anger in his home and life, and his wife, who was clueless about the bet, who was clueless of the bet had to deal with it.

Poor woman!

If your husband is grappling with frustrations, it is best that he seeks the help of a professional therapist rather than bottle them up and wreck his relationship.   

10. He is a narcissist

There is no excuse for bad behavior, and in this space, we call it a spade what it is.

Your Angry man husband, who acts like a petulant child, needs to learn to take responsibility for his emotions.

Chances are that you feel responsible for his anger but hold that thought first…

How we choose to act towards people in our lives is a choice, so even when life deals your husband lemons, it is his prerogative to turn them into lemonade.

Have you noticed that this common thread runs through narcissists?

They act in ways they shouldn’t, gaslighting and manipulating you to accept blame for their actions.

If ‘Angry Man’ is your husband’s default, then he may be a narcissist.

The truth is that your husband may be angry due to different factors, and it may have nothing to do with you.

He is responsible for his emotions and should communicate if he is dissatisfied in any way.

Ultimately, unless you talk with him, you won’t know the reason for his anger.

If you have unresolved conflict in your marriage that is fueling his anger and you need help, you can explore the services of a professional marriage counselor.

Also, if he is battling with himself internally, I highly advise that he opens up to a professional therapist.

All the best!