Why We Keep Tripping Over Forgiveness

Have you ever had a hard time forgiving someone? If so, keep reading…

It was a Saturday afternoon college football game, and I was doing what I like best—not watching the game but observing people.

My flip-down seat was the last in a long row of Carolina blue. A steady stream of fans traipsed up and down the concrete steps carrying soft drinks, hot dogs, and popcorn. After a while, I noticed that four out of five people climbing the stands stumbled on the step to my left. No one got hurt. Just a few messy spills and embarrassed faces.

But why that step? That’s what baffled me.

At halftime, I pulled out my trusty flowered tape measure (yes, I carry one in my purse at all times). I discovered that the “tripping step” was about a quarter inch higher than all the others. Just a tiny bit taller.

So, they tripped.

Forgiveness is a lot like that “tripping step.” It’s just a little bit higher than many of the other steps we practice as Christians. Unfortunately, it’s the one step many of us seem to stumble over the most.

How do we stop the tripping? We simply lift our determined feet a little higher and keep moving forward.

The high step of forgiveness stands at the very core of the Christian faith and is a foundational theme in Jesus’ teaching.

“And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins” (Mark 11:25).

“If your brother or sister sins against you, rebuke them; and if they repent, forgive them. Even if they sin against you seven times in a day and seven times come back to you saying, ‘I repent,’ you must forgive them” (Luke 17:3–4).

Throughout Old Testament times, God’s people offered sacrifices for the forgiveness of sin. But those sacrifices were never enough. Every new sin required another sacrifice.

Then Jesus came.

He became the final sacrifice for the forgiveness of our sins. His sacrifice was enough for all people, for all time.

I love how author and pastor Brian Zahnd describes Jesus’ forgiveness as “grace that takes the blame, covers the shame, removes the stain, and breaks the endless cycle of revenge.”

But we are not merely recipients of forgiving grace through Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross. We are also called to become givers of that grace.

As C. S. Lewis wrote, “To be Christian means to forgive the inexcusable, because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you.”

My home growing up was filled with anger, heartache, and pain. As you can imagine, a great deal of forgiveness took place after I—and later my parents—came to Christ.

It didn’t happen all at once.

The decision to forgive happened in a moment, like a pebble sinking to the bottom of a glass of water.

The healing of emotions happened over time, like a pebble sinking through a glass of thick oil.

When something from the past triggers old wounds and the hurt rises again, we can stop and remind ourselves: I have already forgiven that person.

Then we can ask God to help us deal with the emotions that linger.

We can also remember Paul’s words:

“Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you” (Colossians 3:13 NIV).

As the Lord forgave you.

Let those words settle deep into your heart.

In teaching His followers to forgive, Jesus offered no exceptions. No loopholes. No escape clauses. He identified no offense too grievous, no betrayal too painful, no wrong too severe to place beyond the reach of forgiveness.

Forgiveness is costly.

But so is unforgiveness.

One keeps us chained to the past. The other sets us free to walk into the future.

Forgiveness doesn’t excuse the wrong; it ends the need for revenge. When we choose forgiveness, we live out a foundational truth of our faith. We lay down the burden of bitterness. We make room for grace to do what anger never can.

And in doing so, we make the world a little more beautiful.

One forgiven heart at a time.

I want to be part of that.

I think you do too.

Lord, help me forgive those who have wronged me. I place the anger, pain, and hurt into Your hands. I want to live free, not bound by bitterness. I forgive ____________ for ____________. When those old hurtful feelings arise, remind me that I have already cut the burden free with the saber of grace and placed it in Your hands. Help me walk in the freedom that forgiveness brings. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

If you prayed that prayer today, leave a comment and say “I choose to forgive!”

Digging Deeper

Everybody loves a good story, but not everybody loves their own story. Usually, it’s not the entire story we don’t like. Just certain chapters. But did you know that your worst chapters could become your greatest victories—the pages God uses the most? If this devotion on forgiveness stirred your heart, then you’re on your way to having a better story. Dig deeper with When You Don’t Like Your Story: What if Your Worst Chapters Could Become Your Greatest Victories. You can change the ending to your story and live free!